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Kevin hasn't been in this house since he was seven years old. And yet, somehow, when he finds himself there again... there seems nothing unnatural about it at all.
"Kevin? Kevin... Kev--" She peeks around the corner, a familiar smile on her face. It was her smile, the same one Darien would throw at him every once in a while, the same one that would throw him OFF every once in a while. "Always working, aren't you? Well, your sandwich is ready, boy genius, so come in and eat."
He looks up from the chemistry set in front of him - and didn't he move beyond this level, twenty or more years ago? but it doesn't matter - and smiles back, pushing himself up to join her in the kitchen. "Sure, Mom."
She rolls her eyes, brown eyes, their eyes. "Brain food, like normal. Peanut-butter and bologna sandwich." She holds out the plate. "Crusts cut off. Aren't I just perfect?" She reaches and ruffles his hair.
He smiles... and if there's the smallest sad edge to it, as the dream shifts just a little and he remembers, well, it's barely noticeable and gone a moment later. "Just like always." He accepts the plate, ducking his head with a grin as she musses his hair.
She sighs, just a little tiredly. As if to ask 'what am I going to do with you?' "You know, if one of you was going to die young, I always... well, I feared it would be Darien." She looks him in the eye, a small, sad smile on her lips. "You always were too smart for your own good." And her hand moves to his head, running through his hair before pulling him close.
He doesn't resist in the slightest, doesn't hesitate, and he closes his eyes as he steps into his mother's arms. "I did too, Mom. I would've done anything to..." He smiles tiredly, not opening his eyes. "And I did."
"I know." And she holds him tight. "I'm so sorry I left you alone, Kevin. I'm sorry I left you. I didn't want to."
He leans unashamedly, eyes squeezed shut against tears. "I know. I know. You couldn't... I... I wish I'd been older." I wish I could have tried to save you.
"You couldn't have saved me, honey," she tells him. "Everyone has a time. I'm sorry mine was so soon, I'm sorry I left you alone, but... things happen." She sighs. "I only wish your father had come back."
Kevin's jaw tightens, and he tenses though he tries to hide it. "He left us before you ever did. He could have got in touch. He didn't. If he didn't come back..." He won't say they were better off without him. Not to her. But he thinks it.
She sighs. "There are things you didn't know, couldn't know. Things you didn't understand. I knew, and I hated it, but... don't hate him too much, all right?" She holds him a little tighter. "And he's looking out for Darien now... when neither of us can."
Kevin's eyes snap open at that and he pulls back - not far, but so he can look at her. "...he's alive?" It comes out as a near whisper. "And he knows?"
She nods. "He's alive. He's not... he's not here, anyway." She looks at him. "I thought you'd know."
"I... haven't made it to here yet", he says slowly, stunned. "Not for good. I'm... still looking after Darien, the best I can, it's.... there's a place... but you knew that, didn't you?"
She nods. "He needs you." A small sigh, "I almost wish--" And she shakes her head. "It's better, though. You both turned out... well, as yourselves. I couldn't ask for better sons."
Kevin takes a breath, looking down at his shoes. "I... Mom, I made mistakes. I'm trying to fix them, I think... maybe that's why I'm not done yet. As long as he needs me..."
She shakes her head. "You're done when you say your done. That's how it works, no matter what anyone says."
"As long as he needs me", Kevin repeats with a small rueful smile. "Just like always."
"Just remember that eventually, he has to stand on his own two legs," she points out. And kisses his forehead.
"Eventually", Kevin acknowledges, with a stifled sigh. "And when he's ready, when it's better for him that I leave him... I'll know. I think I'll know."
She nods. "I know you will."
"Do you..." he starts hesitantly. "...do you get to watch? Here?"
She pats him again. "You'll find out. Eventually."
Kevin swallows, not wanting this to end, not yet, and blurts, just in case she doesn't know this for herself, "He's happy, you know. In love. And I think... if it wasn't for the problems... I think he'd be happy in his work."
"And because he has you. Don't ever forget that." She brushes hair from his face. "You're more important to him than he'll ever say."
He leans into her hand, and... he's tired, but not so tired he's ready to walk away from his brother yet, to stay here with her. "He's always been the most important thing."
She sighs. "If things were different, I'd be reminding you that you're pretty important too... but you made your choices and that's that." She smiles at him. "You ARE still pretty damn important to me, Kevin. And important. But right now, he's the one in danger, so..."
"If I could do it again..." Kevin says quietly, "I would. A hundred times over. But as it is... I'll do what I can." He shrugs slightly, with a small wry smile. "He's my little brother."
"And you're his older brother." She pokes him in the shoulder. "You should listen to him sometimes too."
"I'm trying", he protests, though not too vehemently, "We... we talked about it. I'm trying to see it his way more. Not just bail him out..."
She smiles and kisses his forehead. "Eat your sandwich, Kevin. I'll be here. I'm always here."
He picks up the sandwich obediently, then looks back up at her. "Will I see you again? Before it's time for me to come here?"
She nods. "Of course. Now eat. I didn't make that sandwich for nothing, I should hope."
That gets a smile of pure relief, and he finally takes a bite of the sandwich. "Love you, Mom."
"Love you too, Kevin..."
He gets to finish the sandwich, and they talk more, about everything and nothing, before he wakes. And when he does, it's with a smile.
"Kevin? Kevin... Kev--" She peeks around the corner, a familiar smile on her face. It was her smile, the same one Darien would throw at him every once in a while, the same one that would throw him OFF every once in a while. "Always working, aren't you? Well, your sandwich is ready, boy genius, so come in and eat."
He looks up from the chemistry set in front of him - and didn't he move beyond this level, twenty or more years ago? but it doesn't matter - and smiles back, pushing himself up to join her in the kitchen. "Sure, Mom."
She rolls her eyes, brown eyes, their eyes. "Brain food, like normal. Peanut-butter and bologna sandwich." She holds out the plate. "Crusts cut off. Aren't I just perfect?" She reaches and ruffles his hair.
He smiles... and if there's the smallest sad edge to it, as the dream shifts just a little and he remembers, well, it's barely noticeable and gone a moment later. "Just like always." He accepts the plate, ducking his head with a grin as she musses his hair.
She sighs, just a little tiredly. As if to ask 'what am I going to do with you?' "You know, if one of you was going to die young, I always... well, I feared it would be Darien." She looks him in the eye, a small, sad smile on her lips. "You always were too smart for your own good." And her hand moves to his head, running through his hair before pulling him close.
He doesn't resist in the slightest, doesn't hesitate, and he closes his eyes as he steps into his mother's arms. "I did too, Mom. I would've done anything to..." He smiles tiredly, not opening his eyes. "And I did."
"I know." And she holds him tight. "I'm so sorry I left you alone, Kevin. I'm sorry I left you. I didn't want to."
He leans unashamedly, eyes squeezed shut against tears. "I know. I know. You couldn't... I... I wish I'd been older." I wish I could have tried to save you.
"You couldn't have saved me, honey," she tells him. "Everyone has a time. I'm sorry mine was so soon, I'm sorry I left you alone, but... things happen." She sighs. "I only wish your father had come back."
Kevin's jaw tightens, and he tenses though he tries to hide it. "He left us before you ever did. He could have got in touch. He didn't. If he didn't come back..." He won't say they were better off without him. Not to her. But he thinks it.
She sighs. "There are things you didn't know, couldn't know. Things you didn't understand. I knew, and I hated it, but... don't hate him too much, all right?" She holds him a little tighter. "And he's looking out for Darien now... when neither of us can."
Kevin's eyes snap open at that and he pulls back - not far, but so he can look at her. "...he's alive?" It comes out as a near whisper. "And he knows?"
She nods. "He's alive. He's not... he's not here, anyway." She looks at him. "I thought you'd know."
"I... haven't made it to here yet", he says slowly, stunned. "Not for good. I'm... still looking after Darien, the best I can, it's.... there's a place... but you knew that, didn't you?"
She nods. "He needs you." A small sigh, "I almost wish--" And she shakes her head. "It's better, though. You both turned out... well, as yourselves. I couldn't ask for better sons."
Kevin takes a breath, looking down at his shoes. "I... Mom, I made mistakes. I'm trying to fix them, I think... maybe that's why I'm not done yet. As long as he needs me..."
She shakes her head. "You're done when you say your done. That's how it works, no matter what anyone says."
"As long as he needs me", Kevin repeats with a small rueful smile. "Just like always."
"Just remember that eventually, he has to stand on his own two legs," she points out. And kisses his forehead.
"Eventually", Kevin acknowledges, with a stifled sigh. "And when he's ready, when it's better for him that I leave him... I'll know. I think I'll know."
She nods. "I know you will."
"Do you..." he starts hesitantly. "...do you get to watch? Here?"
She pats him again. "You'll find out. Eventually."
Kevin swallows, not wanting this to end, not yet, and blurts, just in case she doesn't know this for herself, "He's happy, you know. In love. And I think... if it wasn't for the problems... I think he'd be happy in his work."
"And because he has you. Don't ever forget that." She brushes hair from his face. "You're more important to him than he'll ever say."
He leans into her hand, and... he's tired, but not so tired he's ready to walk away from his brother yet, to stay here with her. "He's always been the most important thing."
She sighs. "If things were different, I'd be reminding you that you're pretty important too... but you made your choices and that's that." She smiles at him. "You ARE still pretty damn important to me, Kevin. And important. But right now, he's the one in danger, so..."
"If I could do it again..." Kevin says quietly, "I would. A hundred times over. But as it is... I'll do what I can." He shrugs slightly, with a small wry smile. "He's my little brother."
"And you're his older brother." She pokes him in the shoulder. "You should listen to him sometimes too."
"I'm trying", he protests, though not too vehemently, "We... we talked about it. I'm trying to see it his way more. Not just bail him out..."
She smiles and kisses his forehead. "Eat your sandwich, Kevin. I'll be here. I'm always here."
He picks up the sandwich obediently, then looks back up at her. "Will I see you again? Before it's time for me to come here?"
She nods. "Of course. Now eat. I didn't make that sandwich for nothing, I should hope."
That gets a smile of pure relief, and he finally takes a bite of the sandwich. "Love you, Mom."
"Love you too, Kevin..."
He gets to finish the sandwich, and they talk more, about everything and nothing, before he wakes. And when he does, it's with a smile.