My neglect here might be a good thing?
Haven't been bloggin much, but at least that means March has been better than February?
Tummy Stuff
Got more inconclusive tests done with my GI. There is a 1cm cyst on my liver, but apparently that's not important. And I'm not fructose intolerant. What's really weird is the day I ate nothing until 2pm, except a can of ginger ale at 10am, for my 1pm fructose test my tummy felt more settled than if I'd had banana bread or an apple for breakfast. Hmmm.
The fructose test was last week. A couple weeks before I was sifting thru all the weird symptom vs. habit details, and my pcp's recommendation to try digestive enzymes. Without going into gross tmi, my tummy aches did somewhat remind me of lactose intolerance and such. So had I become 'intolerant' to just food in general? The enzymes my doc recommended were all really f'ing expensive, so I went to the Vitamin Shoppe to see if there was anything less crazy than HCL pills.
I found a digestive enzyme supplement that contained several different enzymes, geared towards digesting several different things. This is the beginning of week 3, and its been... interesting. The problems I started taking them for seem to have eased up a lot, but in week 1 I developed alternative just-as-annoying symptoms too. But I'm not sure if that was from the pills, from eating apples for breakfast instead of banana bread (I was lazy that weekend), or some virus b/c the new symptom started the Saturday before all the new stuff. Week 2, last week, was less bad but I also went back on the banana bread for breakfasts. And I change up my lunches each week anyway. I checked them with my GI, and she gave me approval to use them. Just not at the same time as the Pepcid, but since those are meant for before-bed and after-waking, its not going to conflict with meal time most days. There have been some potential clashes between meds, plus those other symptoms, so I'm seeing what happens if I only use them for two meals a day instead of three, and stuff like that. Trial and error.
I've also been more overtly queasy in the evenings and mornings, or just not hungry for the last couple of weeks. Usually I'm normal during the day. Not sure if this is the enzymes, virus, or whatevs. Its helping me keep to my 2lb food limit each day, but many days even less, and that probably isn't a good thing.
And at this point my GI has run out of tests to give me, so I'm to check back in September to see how the pepcid therapy is working. Mixed feeling about this. Sad I didn't find a root to all-the-problems to easily fix. But most of the tests didn't turn up anything helpful (tho I'm happy to definitely not have Celiac), and I was sick of trying to fit them around my work schedule. So again, trial and error for the next few months.
Sleeps
Weird for the last few weeks. Tummy trial and error was waking me up, but then I seemed to be sleeping better, but then I was more restless at night, and then last week I kept going home and accidentally taking a nap before dinner. I think it's early onset spring fever, which is super unfair b/c we're still getting snow warnings :-P It was a bit better this weekend, hopefully I'm getting over whatever the problem is. And again, I need to not let my two tummy treatments conflict and give me nighttime owch.
As for general fatigue... its a bit on and off. On one hand, the sleeps are weird, so when I go home I'm not really awake enough to do functional stuff.
But I've been experimenting with *making* myself go out to do more things after work and on weekends, and every time so far I've felt better. Even when I was feeling stomach-ick or moody at work, or too queasy to finish the dinner I brought with me. So while I do believe all the CF was kicked off by physical/medical problems, now it's mostly a 'set point' problem that I have to psych myself out of. It hasn't been a perfect experiment (ugh, winter) but as it warms up it should get easier.
Unfortunately, the coming spring is also stirring up ... feels. And that has not been pleasant. Its much easier to be a happy spinster when its not springtime. Pheromones and hormones seem to shoot off at odd times (and at really inappropriate people :-P) but I don't have any reliable or realistic targets. And to be honest, I've been brainfogged for so long, and screwed over by so many jerks in the years before CF, I don't even know what I want or am looking out for anymore. And obviously I can't afford to waste my time/energy on someone who can't take care of me when I'm having a flare up, or respect my weird health-needs in general. So I guess I'm high maintenance now. Wth.
Now that I think of it, I didn't have the energy to feel this way last spring, so maybe its another good/aggravating sign of better things to come? Not with romantic b.s., but that soon I'll be able to get my creative projects up and running again with these wandering but pointless passions.
An excellent distraction from health and guy problems is RPGs, so its a good thing I've rejoined Cam Club. And was welcomed back with super excited open arms, a very pleasant surprise after the "wait, oh its you" from the old troupe gamers back in November. And the Cammies I didn't know were also all very friendly without setting off my crazy-person alarm bells (thanx troupe scene), and seem to actually want me to stick around. Its quite a heady experience, actually. I'm not really used to people actively wanting *me* around anymore, btw 2.5 years of health exile, and before that the improv scene (hello new friend buy tix to my shows!).
So far I'm rebuilding my original Requiem vampy character, Marguerite. But this time I actually know how Requiem works, and we have more than just the main tabletop book, and I don't have a higher MC player calling the shots, so I'm going to make her more independent and functional this time. And that's what I've been working on most Monday nights instead of my blog updates. Um, lol? Also bringing back my Forsaken character for a mixed-creatures vs Cthulu venue called Accord. It looks like the Looney Toons of NWoD, but I like that idea. The Lost ST is really nice, and I've heard fun things about the game, but I think two games is enough to start with.
Part of me is all YAY GAMING, other parts worry that by getting sucked into game I'll neglect my personal projects. But I had zero energy with zero social life, and game is only one weekend and one Wednesday per month, so it shouldn't be that bad. I would rather be not-writing b/c I'm having fun than not-writing b/c I'm isolated and miserable. Also, gaming+springfever makes me worry about repeating old (romantic fail) mistakes that sparked crazy past drama and added fuel to the bullying. But it would take a lot of convincing to get me to date in the gaming group again, eek.
Also, when I went to try on Marguerite's old costume pieces none fit. And that sparked a bunch more fabric-ordering (tho this time with a gc) so now I have a ton more sewing projects. Whups. At least I didn't need to order new patterns too :-P I'm succeeding in burning myself out on sewing again.
Another friend has resolved to go to a (free) museum every week, so that's been another good way to get me out of the house and out of my head. Tho I've only made it to one so far, b/c tummy and sleep probs. Hopefully more this spring :-)
On Saturday I saw The Jedi Macbeth, and some of my lightsaber friends are also trying to lure me back in. "Empire" only has classes once a week so that may work. And they seem very understanding of my hesitance b/c CF. Maybe I'll just go for the lightsabering exercise and not do all the con stuff to start. They're part of Rebel Legion, so I'd need to make a screen accurate costume, ugh.
I think my tarot skillz are also starting to wake up as of last week, yaaay. So this week I'll try to remember to tarot at IAF and a friend's going away party. Thursday will either be gallery hopping or Sci Fi club.
Not sure if anything is going on Friday, but the party is on Saturday night, so may just stay in. I'm still kinda health/germ phobic b/c all the jerks came back from Spring Break with extra coughing and sneezing. Grr.
But things are starting to work out. Hopefully they continue on that way. I'm slowly coming out of my isolation and it looks like a good thing :-)
<3 Chrysilla
Crossposted from Dreamwidth, http://chrysilla.dreamwidth.org/
Tummy Stuff
Got more inconclusive tests done with my GI. There is a 1cm cyst on my liver, but apparently that's not important. And I'm not fructose intolerant. What's really weird is the day I ate nothing until 2pm, except a can of ginger ale at 10am, for my 1pm fructose test my tummy felt more settled than if I'd had banana bread or an apple for breakfast. Hmmm.
The fructose test was last week. A couple weeks before I was sifting thru all the weird symptom vs. habit details, and my pcp's recommendation to try digestive enzymes. Without going into gross tmi, my tummy aches did somewhat remind me of lactose intolerance and such. So had I become 'intolerant' to just food in general? The enzymes my doc recommended were all really f'ing expensive, so I went to the Vitamin Shoppe to see if there was anything less crazy than HCL pills.
I found a digestive enzyme supplement that contained several different enzymes, geared towards digesting several different things. This is the beginning of week 3, and its been... interesting. The problems I started taking them for seem to have eased up a lot, but in week 1 I developed alternative just-as-annoying symptoms too. But I'm not sure if that was from the pills, from eating apples for breakfast instead of banana bread (I was lazy that weekend), or some virus b/c the new symptom started the Saturday before all the new stuff. Week 2, last week, was less bad but I also went back on the banana bread for breakfasts. And I change up my lunches each week anyway. I checked them with my GI, and she gave me approval to use them. Just not at the same time as the Pepcid, but since those are meant for before-bed and after-waking, its not going to conflict with meal time most days. There have been some potential clashes between meds, plus those other symptoms, so I'm seeing what happens if I only use them for two meals a day instead of three, and stuff like that. Trial and error.
I've also been more overtly queasy in the evenings and mornings, or just not hungry for the last couple of weeks. Usually I'm normal during the day. Not sure if this is the enzymes, virus, or whatevs. Its helping me keep to my 2lb food limit each day, but many days even less, and that probably isn't a good thing.
And at this point my GI has run out of tests to give me, so I'm to check back in September to see how the pepcid therapy is working. Mixed feeling about this. Sad I didn't find a root to all-the-problems to easily fix. But most of the tests didn't turn up anything helpful (tho I'm happy to definitely not have Celiac), and I was sick of trying to fit them around my work schedule. So again, trial and error for the next few months.
Sleeps
Weird for the last few weeks. Tummy trial and error was waking me up, but then I seemed to be sleeping better, but then I was more restless at night, and then last week I kept going home and accidentally taking a nap before dinner. I think it's early onset spring fever, which is super unfair b/c we're still getting snow warnings :-P It was a bit better this weekend, hopefully I'm getting over whatever the problem is. And again, I need to not let my two tummy treatments conflict and give me nighttime owch.
As for general fatigue... its a bit on and off. On one hand, the sleeps are weird, so when I go home I'm not really awake enough to do functional stuff.
But I've been experimenting with *making* myself go out to do more things after work and on weekends, and every time so far I've felt better. Even when I was feeling stomach-ick or moody at work, or too queasy to finish the dinner I brought with me. So while I do believe all the CF was kicked off by physical/medical problems, now it's mostly a 'set point' problem that I have to psych myself out of. It hasn't been a perfect experiment (ugh, winter) but as it warms up it should get easier.
Unfortunately, the coming spring is also stirring up ... feels. And that has not been pleasant. Its much easier to be a happy spinster when its not springtime. Pheromones and hormones seem to shoot off at odd times (and at really inappropriate people :-P) but I don't have any reliable or realistic targets. And to be honest, I've been brainfogged for so long, and screwed over by so many jerks in the years before CF, I don't even know what I want or am looking out for anymore. And obviously I can't afford to waste my time/energy on someone who can't take care of me when I'm having a flare up, or respect my weird health-needs in general. So I guess I'm high maintenance now. Wth.
Now that I think of it, I didn't have the energy to feel this way last spring, so maybe its another good/aggravating sign of better things to come? Not with romantic b.s., but that soon I'll be able to get my creative projects up and running again with these wandering but pointless passions.
An excellent distraction from health and guy problems is RPGs, so its a good thing I've rejoined Cam Club. And was welcomed back with super excited open arms, a very pleasant surprise after the "wait, oh its you" from the old troupe gamers back in November. And the Cammies I didn't know were also all very friendly without setting off my crazy-person alarm bells (thanx troupe scene), and seem to actually want me to stick around. Its quite a heady experience, actually. I'm not really used to people actively wanting *me* around anymore, btw 2.5 years of health exile, and before that the improv scene (hello new friend buy tix to my shows!).
So far I'm rebuilding my original Requiem vampy character, Marguerite. But this time I actually know how Requiem works, and we have more than just the main tabletop book, and I don't have a higher MC player calling the shots, so I'm going to make her more independent and functional this time. And that's what I've been working on most Monday nights instead of my blog updates. Um, lol? Also bringing back my Forsaken character for a mixed-creatures vs Cthulu venue called Accord. It looks like the Looney Toons of NWoD, but I like that idea. The Lost ST is really nice, and I've heard fun things about the game, but I think two games is enough to start with.
Part of me is all YAY GAMING, other parts worry that by getting sucked into game I'll neglect my personal projects. But I had zero energy with zero social life, and game is only one weekend and one Wednesday per month, so it shouldn't be that bad. I would rather be not-writing b/c I'm having fun than not-writing b/c I'm isolated and miserable. Also, gaming+springfever makes me worry about repeating old (romantic fail) mistakes that sparked crazy past drama and added fuel to the bullying. But it would take a lot of convincing to get me to date in the gaming group again, eek.
Also, when I went to try on Marguerite's old costume pieces none fit. And that sparked a bunch more fabric-ordering (tho this time with a gc) so now I have a ton more sewing projects. Whups. At least I didn't need to order new patterns too :-P I'm succeeding in burning myself out on sewing again.
Another friend has resolved to go to a (free) museum every week, so that's been another good way to get me out of the house and out of my head. Tho I've only made it to one so far, b/c tummy and sleep probs. Hopefully more this spring :-)
On Saturday I saw The Jedi Macbeth, and some of my lightsaber friends are also trying to lure me back in. "Empire" only has classes once a week so that may work. And they seem very understanding of my hesitance b/c CF. Maybe I'll just go for the lightsabering exercise and not do all the con stuff to start. They're part of Rebel Legion, so I'd need to make a screen accurate costume, ugh.
I think my tarot skillz are also starting to wake up as of last week, yaaay. So this week I'll try to remember to tarot at IAF and a friend's going away party. Thursday will either be gallery hopping or Sci Fi club.
Not sure if anything is going on Friday, but the party is on Saturday night, so may just stay in. I'm still kinda health/germ phobic b/c all the jerks came back from Spring Break with extra coughing and sneezing. Grr.
But things are starting to work out. Hopefully they continue on that way. I'm slowly coming out of my isolation and it looks like a good thing :-)
<3 Chrysilla
Crossposted from Dreamwidth, http://chrysilla.dreamwidth.org/