A Chat with the Hierophant
I spent a few hours on Sunday going through a large plastic tub which I'd been using as a catch-all for various odds and ends of paper that hadn't been properly filed: everything from old pay stubs to scribbled story notes to seminary papers and etc.
One of the things I found was a meditation I did on the Hierophant card from the tarot. It's undated, but I suspect it goes back to 1995, when I was taking a tarot class (where I met bookchick). It may be more recent, but 1995 was a Hierophant year for me, and I remember doing several tasks around that card for the class.
So why record it here and now? Because the issues that came up in that meditation, whenever it was, remain pertinent today.
The Hierophant said to me: "I am the local head of the church - neither the greatest nor the least of the clergy, but the one specially charged with responsibility for this flock. I am the shepherd. I wear the crown of authority and carry the staff of guidance. My robes are richly decorated, adding additional weight and grandeur to my presence.
"My expression is serious, even joyless, for I have a serious job -- guarding my parishioners from ignorance, heresy, and the subtle traps of evil.
"Two children kneel before me: tender souls who must somehow be brought to knowledge and maturity without tarnishing their innocence -- as mine has been tarnished. I have looked too much on the follies and pettiness of mankind to be untouched by them, knowing that it is not I or my worthiness which are important, but the divine knowledge I bear in trust."
Qualities I Wish to Develop/Affirm:
* I bear my knowledge in trust and service for humanity.
* I do not allow my awareness of my own failings and limitations to convince me I have nothing to offer.
* I honor the traditions of my past without letting them limit me.
And then the conversation:
The Hierophant: You are an acolyte, one who has committed herself several times to the path of teaching and priestessing, yet you do not apply yourself and perservere in your commitments.
Me: Why are you here?
The Hierophant: Do you want me to be the one who teaches the children, or do you see a different, better way?
Me: Your stiff robes and sour expression frighten me. Where is the joy in your calling?
The Hierophant: I have labored in the world and in the hierarchy for many years. It is long since I felt the fire of the Divine touch.
Me: You have allowed the church to take the place of God.
The Hierophant: So have you. Where are your prayers, your devotions, your going-into-silence? When did you last feel the touch of God?
Me: [silence]
The Hierophant: I am the symbol of your past, and I am the ghost of what you will become if you allow thinking and reading to replace prayer, worship, and celebration. I am also the authority which is yours to claim, if you continue on your path. What will you do with it?
I feel very uncomfortable about the fact that I could have had the exact same conversation yesterday, if I had done the same exercise. I'm further along my path than I was then, but his fundamental observations about me remain spot-on. I do not perservere as I should. I let reading and thinking get in the way of praying, meditating and celebrating, and I have yet to claim my authority in teaching or guidance.
One of the things I found was a meditation I did on the Hierophant card from the tarot. It's undated, but I suspect it goes back to 1995, when I was taking a tarot class (where I met bookchick). It may be more recent, but 1995 was a Hierophant year for me, and I remember doing several tasks around that card for the class.
So why record it here and now? Because the issues that came up in that meditation, whenever it was, remain pertinent today.
The Hierophant said to me: "I am the local head of the church - neither the greatest nor the least of the clergy, but the one specially charged with responsibility for this flock. I am the shepherd. I wear the crown of authority and carry the staff of guidance. My robes are richly decorated, adding additional weight and grandeur to my presence.
"My expression is serious, even joyless, for I have a serious job -- guarding my parishioners from ignorance, heresy, and the subtle traps of evil.
"Two children kneel before me: tender souls who must somehow be brought to knowledge and maturity without tarnishing their innocence -- as mine has been tarnished. I have looked too much on the follies and pettiness of mankind to be untouched by them, knowing that it is not I or my worthiness which are important, but the divine knowledge I bear in trust."
Qualities I Wish to Develop/Affirm:
* I bear my knowledge in trust and service for humanity.
* I do not allow my awareness of my own failings and limitations to convince me I have nothing to offer.
* I honor the traditions of my past without letting them limit me.
And then the conversation:
The Hierophant: You are an acolyte, one who has committed herself several times to the path of teaching and priestessing, yet you do not apply yourself and perservere in your commitments.
Me: Why are you here?
The Hierophant: Do you want me to be the one who teaches the children, or do you see a different, better way?
Me: Your stiff robes and sour expression frighten me. Where is the joy in your calling?
The Hierophant: I have labored in the world and in the hierarchy for many years. It is long since I felt the fire of the Divine touch.
Me: You have allowed the church to take the place of God.
The Hierophant: So have you. Where are your prayers, your devotions, your going-into-silence? When did you last feel the touch of God?
Me: [silence]
The Hierophant: I am the symbol of your past, and I am the ghost of what you will become if you allow thinking and reading to replace prayer, worship, and celebration. I am also the authority which is yours to claim, if you continue on your path. What will you do with it?
I feel very uncomfortable about the fact that I could have had the exact same conversation yesterday, if I had done the same exercise. I'm further along my path than I was then, but his fundamental observations about me remain spot-on. I do not perservere as I should. I let reading and thinking get in the way of praying, meditating and celebrating, and I have yet to claim my authority in teaching or guidance.