Saying Goodbye

[qmc]

I try really hard not to be jealous of other people.  Especially people who are grieving.  But sometimes it is so hard.  My cousins just lost their grandfather on the other side.  I feel bad for them and I really am sorry about there loss.  But I guess that on the other hand, I am a little jealous.  They were telling me about all of these amazing moments they had in the last week to say goodbye.  I didn't have that.  I barely remember my grandfathers.  My Pop Pop Tucker was amazing and he was taken at the age of like 56.  A young person still, but he had a heart attack.  There was no warning.  Sometimes, I just wish that I could have had just a little more time.  To have him see me grow up.  To graduate high school, college and my masters program.  To be a part of my wedding day.  To watch and have all of those little moments.  To learn about him and my family.  To hug him and snuggle close near the campfire.  Sometimes I just feel cheated.  I know that he was such a powerful figure in my mom's life...I just wish I knew more.  His favorite color, what kind of shoes he liked to wear, what vegetables he ate and his college stories.  He was an amazing man and I miss him all the time.  I wish I could have just one more time to see him and talk to him....but then again, don't we all?

The truth is, I am a very fortunate person.  I have a wonderful husband and family and friends that mean the world to me.  I am grateful for all of my experiences and I know that everything happens for a reason.

I love you Pop Pop.  You are always in my heart...