Squelched
I originally wanted to write a massive essay to flesh out these thoughts but we'll see what happens.
G-bot is in university. Doing what I've always wanted to and experiencing many new and wonderful technical marvels and theories. It's a really cerebral experience that I enjoy on the academic level immensely. But that's where the fun stops, there is a great anxiety in this new world. I'm blessed with a place to live with many toys to enjoy but I find myself really empty. With all of these new experiences I find myself at a loss and full of anxiety. It was difficult to nail down but I came to a conclusion but only so much soul searching can be done. I look at myself and what I have at carleton. A great academic life that's for sure, I have some "friends" but lately something has been bugging me. I'm squelched. It seems any piece of the real world I draw into conversation or any serious discussion of some philisophical merit is met with laughs and the like. They stare in awe as I give opinions on simple subjects as if they've never thought of anything the way I have or for themselves for that matter. These are not peers, these are the sheltered sub-urban (or even rural in a few cases) children I left behind a long time ago when I went to see what life has to offer. Sexual comment? They stare at me in shock. Gay joke? They schooch away slightly(damn homophobes). The world is doome! Global warming doesn't exist. At this point I'm just sitting there nodding and faking a laugh while I do work, I can kind of drown them out as useless banter but thats about it. Except when it comes to games and computer topics, we are engineers and gamers after all. However, no one was alive way back when gaming hit off and what I experienced =/ I've looked around at other people and I feel isolated from the others, I have no kindred at this school and no one I can really create a true friendship like I've had before. I miss every fucking one of you so much. All the stupid random shit and the aimless philisophical arguments, the hours of gaming over bottle fountains of beer, i-caf missions, kbbq, road trips to nowhere, chilling in the basement, talk of comics or cartoons with someone who was actually there and cognisant of it. There's so much to say bottled up inside I could explode but instead of letting fall on deaf ears I'll keep silent. Don't get me wrong this school has been wonderful to me but I just can't jump on the social bandwagon like others most are jocks or hadcore nerds and I can't really associate with either of them. My only real friends were the clique we had in the ham. My christmas break is not going to be long enough to really enjoy myself the way I want to, 9 days is a far cry from most peoples half month long breaks thank you very fucking much exam on the 22nd. But we'll see what can happen during that time, I'm not expecting a whole lot because of holidays and family time. There's a slight possibility of coming back mid december for a week but that could cut into my study time, meh it might be worth it.
There is also another thing eating away at the back of my mind. There is a course; ECOR 1010 TSE. The Engineering Core Technology, Society and Engineering course that is aimed at making the engineering group aware of the social and environmental issues currently at stake. This class is the most depressing thing I've ever seen and the sad thing is I've read all of the course material before it's ever posted. It's in the news and before that painted all over the journals and articles I read on a daily basis. "The world is doomed" but in more words per se. It's true we are all resource hogs and everything we do no matter how small or insignificant has a definite and irreperable impact on our surroundings. When I see a computer system I don't see a tool I see heavy metal poisoning and silt polluted water ways. It just bugs me, I read an article that showcased a projection of a complete ecosystem collapse of the ocean by 2050. And by damn I wouldn't be surprised, it's getting warmer all of the time, weather is getting fucked up. People make things more and faster and stronger to combat these ever increasing obstacles but these things have momentum and the more you throw at it the harsher it will come back. We are lucky right now I guess, relatively protected from oceanic disturbances and mostly free from any major storm activity. I see these futures projected in the media and entertainment mediums and it's chilling to say the least. Humanity as a whole turns a blind eye to these circumstances, but what's that? The kyoto accord? Green Peace? Environmental movements in general? If people can honestly say that they have made a real impact on the output of the world then congratulations you've been smoking crack and deserve to get smacked upside the head. I see the data and I know the proofs and the projections are accurate. The other aspect of the course is statistics, knowing how accurate the extrapolation is. I'm not saying there's a definite date, just that there is a definite downward spiral and we're all going down. We can inform and bitch and whine all that we want but it's not going to change where it's going, the momentum is in place, if humanity stopped all green house gas emissions the environment would continue to worsen to FIFTY years after that point. Great news. Humanity is a swarming mass of lemmings running towards the cliff into oblivion, woot. Yes, this is negative and yes it is horribly biased but this has been in my mind for some time so it is now out for all to see.
Let's all go get wasted sometime and celebrate the apocalypse. k thxbai
P.S. Wall of text crits you for 5768456713451454367298047512384723hp
You die.
PPS. GG friends pages this shit aint gettin cut.
G-bot is in university. Doing what I've always wanted to and experiencing many new and wonderful technical marvels and theories. It's a really cerebral experience that I enjoy on the academic level immensely. But that's where the fun stops, there is a great anxiety in this new world. I'm blessed with a place to live with many toys to enjoy but I find myself really empty. With all of these new experiences I find myself at a loss and full of anxiety. It was difficult to nail down but I came to a conclusion but only so much soul searching can be done. I look at myself and what I have at carleton. A great academic life that's for sure, I have some "friends" but lately something has been bugging me. I'm squelched. It seems any piece of the real world I draw into conversation or any serious discussion of some philisophical merit is met with laughs and the like. They stare in awe as I give opinions on simple subjects as if they've never thought of anything the way I have or for themselves for that matter. These are not peers, these are the sheltered sub-urban (or even rural in a few cases) children I left behind a long time ago when I went to see what life has to offer. Sexual comment? They stare at me in shock. Gay joke? They schooch away slightly(damn homophobes). The world is doome! Global warming doesn't exist. At this point I'm just sitting there nodding and faking a laugh while I do work, I can kind of drown them out as useless banter but thats about it. Except when it comes to games and computer topics, we are engineers and gamers after all. However, no one was alive way back when gaming hit off and what I experienced =/ I've looked around at other people and I feel isolated from the others, I have no kindred at this school and no one I can really create a true friendship like I've had before. I miss every fucking one of you so much. All the stupid random shit and the aimless philisophical arguments, the hours of gaming over bottle fountains of beer, i-caf missions, kbbq, road trips to nowhere, chilling in the basement, talk of comics or cartoons with someone who was actually there and cognisant of it. There's so much to say bottled up inside I could explode but instead of letting fall on deaf ears I'll keep silent. Don't get me wrong this school has been wonderful to me but I just can't jump on the social bandwagon like others most are jocks or hadcore nerds and I can't really associate with either of them. My only real friends were the clique we had in the ham. My christmas break is not going to be long enough to really enjoy myself the way I want to, 9 days is a far cry from most peoples half month long breaks thank you very fucking much exam on the 22nd. But we'll see what can happen during that time, I'm not expecting a whole lot because of holidays and family time. There's a slight possibility of coming back mid december for a week but that could cut into my study time, meh it might be worth it.
There is also another thing eating away at the back of my mind. There is a course; ECOR 1010 TSE. The Engineering Core Technology, Society and Engineering course that is aimed at making the engineering group aware of the social and environmental issues currently at stake. This class is the most depressing thing I've ever seen and the sad thing is I've read all of the course material before it's ever posted. It's in the news and before that painted all over the journals and articles I read on a daily basis. "The world is doomed" but in more words per se. It's true we are all resource hogs and everything we do no matter how small or insignificant has a definite and irreperable impact on our surroundings. When I see a computer system I don't see a tool I see heavy metal poisoning and silt polluted water ways. It just bugs me, I read an article that showcased a projection of a complete ecosystem collapse of the ocean by 2050. And by damn I wouldn't be surprised, it's getting warmer all of the time, weather is getting fucked up. People make things more and faster and stronger to combat these ever increasing obstacles but these things have momentum and the more you throw at it the harsher it will come back. We are lucky right now I guess, relatively protected from oceanic disturbances and mostly free from any major storm activity. I see these futures projected in the media and entertainment mediums and it's chilling to say the least. Humanity as a whole turns a blind eye to these circumstances, but what's that? The kyoto accord? Green Peace? Environmental movements in general? If people can honestly say that they have made a real impact on the output of the world then congratulations you've been smoking crack and deserve to get smacked upside the head. I see the data and I know the proofs and the projections are accurate. The other aspect of the course is statistics, knowing how accurate the extrapolation is. I'm not saying there's a definite date, just that there is a definite downward spiral and we're all going down. We can inform and bitch and whine all that we want but it's not going to change where it's going, the momentum is in place, if humanity stopped all green house gas emissions the environment would continue to worsen to FIFTY years after that point. Great news. Humanity is a swarming mass of lemmings running towards the cliff into oblivion, woot. Yes, this is negative and yes it is horribly biased but this has been in my mind for some time so it is now out for all to see.
Let's all go get wasted sometime and celebrate the apocalypse. k thxbai
P.S. Wall of text crits you for 5768456713451454367298047512384723hp
You die.
PPS. GG friends pages this shit aint gettin cut.