the space you occupy & some time (drabbles)
These were written for a challenge I posted on my personal journal. Each drabble is inspired by lyrics by Taiwanese musician Yen-J. The lyrics and song title can be found before each drabble.
the space you occupy
x-5, hyunseok/haewon, 426w, pg-13
I like your eyes, looking into my eyes
I like your face, close to my face
I like your hand, holding my hand
I like your lips, kissing my lips
Time changes, but don't you change
-- "I Like, No I Love"
Hyunseok has never been a morning person, but this morning in particular everything feels wrong. The sun shines through wide open curtains which he knows were closed when he went to sleep. His clothes are neatly folded on the chair in the corner when he distinctly remembers tossing them somewhere onto the floor. His head pounds with the alcohol from the night before and the sheets are tangled around his legs in a terribly infuriating way. Worst of all, he can't shake the feeling that something is missing. Something had been here when he'd gone to been which now is gone. He squints in the bright light and feels the pillow next to his. Still warm.
In the adjoining bathroom, he hears the the shower turn on with a rush of water, and he realizes what it is. He smiles and falls back onto his pillow.
Taking a deep, tired breath, he misses it. He misses its presence, so he rolls onto his back to take up the entire bed, filling the space it once occupied. He stretches out his limbs to every corner, and he still misses it.
There are no dark eyes to greet him when he opens his, and he misses those eyes. There is no face frowning at him as thin, delicate hands tirelessly fix Hyunseok's messy hair. He can't take that pretty hand in his and put it to his face instead. There are no lips to kiss, and Hyunseok thinks he misses those the most. His cloudy mind slowly eases itself into full alertness just in time to hear the shower shut off. He pulls himself into a sitting position and wraps the sheets around his waist because his clothes are too far away to be worth the effort.
Haewon steps back into the room with a big, unfitting yawn. "Oh, you awake?" He frowns when Hyunseok doesn't answer, stepping forward and placing a damp hand on Hyunseok's forehead. "Feeling sick?" he asks, the slightest hint of worry creeping into his voice. "You look feverish." Hyunseok grabs Haewon's hand and puts it to his cheek, feeling the cold fingers against his sleep-warmed skin.
"I missed you," he says quietly with the same smile he's had since waking up.
Haewon balks, a mix of embarrassment and disgust, but the corner of his mouth sneaks up into a partial smile. "You are sick," he sneers and turns away, but Hyunseok gives his hand a rough yanks and Haewon comes tumbling backward onto the bed, protests drowned out by Hyunseok's mouth on his.
some time
x-5, hyeonjin/jinwan, 347w, g
I need some time to settle down
Settling down needs some time
This time to settle down needs to be longer
Too many things are changing
-- "Need Some Time To Settle Down"
In time, Hyeonjin is certain this will past. "Give it time, give it just a little more time," he repeats to himself every morning and every night before bed. All he can do is wait it out; everything works itself out with time.
That's easy enough for his mind to process, but in the meantime he's becoming emotionally exhausted. No matter how much time he gives himself, he can't seem to adjust to the jumpiness, the violent reactions his body has every time they touch. And it's not like he can avoid the touching. Never mind that he can't tell Jinwan because he can't risk seeing that sad frown, that quiet disappointment, Hyeonjin doesn't think he could stop himself if he tried. His hands reach for his friend instinctively, whether it's for a hug or to pinch and tickle. He doesn't know how to walk without having an arm slung around the giant of a boy.
Now if only his body would cooperate. If only he could stop the sudden flashes of panic that grip him when Jinwan's hand grabs onto his own. If only he could keep his chest from constricting every time he feels Jinwan in his arms. He breathes a sigh of relief when they finally let go, but soon after finds himself looking for another excuse to latch onto Jinwan again. Maybe it's because he enjoys Jinwan's slightly embarrassed reactions, or maybe Hyeonjin is a closet masochist.
Just give it some time, he tells himself, and it'll go away. Nothing this strong can last forever, and he can be patient when he needs to be. Perhaps very soon he won't feel a thing when Jinwan slides into the seat beside him and cold fingers brush his. Or maybe he'll adjust to the pangs of whatever emotion this is that he refuses to recognize.
First thing in the morning, Hyeonjin grabs Jinwan in a tight hug from behind, smiling at the way his heartbeat races and Jinwan's hands grip his arm sleepily. If it's going to take some time, Hyeonjin hopes it takes forever.
the space you occupy
x-5, hyunseok/haewon, 426w, pg-13
I like your eyes, looking into my eyes
I like your face, close to my face
I like your hand, holding my hand
I like your lips, kissing my lips
Time changes, but don't you change
-- "I Like, No I Love"
Hyunseok has never been a morning person, but this morning in particular everything feels wrong. The sun shines through wide open curtains which he knows were closed when he went to sleep. His clothes are neatly folded on the chair in the corner when he distinctly remembers tossing them somewhere onto the floor. His head pounds with the alcohol from the night before and the sheets are tangled around his legs in a terribly infuriating way. Worst of all, he can't shake the feeling that something is missing. Something had been here when he'd gone to been which now is gone. He squints in the bright light and feels the pillow next to his. Still warm.
In the adjoining bathroom, he hears the the shower turn on with a rush of water, and he realizes what it is. He smiles and falls back onto his pillow.
Taking a deep, tired breath, he misses it. He misses its presence, so he rolls onto his back to take up the entire bed, filling the space it once occupied. He stretches out his limbs to every corner, and he still misses it.
There are no dark eyes to greet him when he opens his, and he misses those eyes. There is no face frowning at him as thin, delicate hands tirelessly fix Hyunseok's messy hair. He can't take that pretty hand in his and put it to his face instead. There are no lips to kiss, and Hyunseok thinks he misses those the most. His cloudy mind slowly eases itself into full alertness just in time to hear the shower shut off. He pulls himself into a sitting position and wraps the sheets around his waist because his clothes are too far away to be worth the effort.
Haewon steps back into the room with a big, unfitting yawn. "Oh, you awake?" He frowns when Hyunseok doesn't answer, stepping forward and placing a damp hand on Hyunseok's forehead. "Feeling sick?" he asks, the slightest hint of worry creeping into his voice. "You look feverish." Hyunseok grabs Haewon's hand and puts it to his cheek, feeling the cold fingers against his sleep-warmed skin.
"I missed you," he says quietly with the same smile he's had since waking up.
Haewon balks, a mix of embarrassment and disgust, but the corner of his mouth sneaks up into a partial smile. "You are sick," he sneers and turns away, but Hyunseok gives his hand a rough yanks and Haewon comes tumbling backward onto the bed, protests drowned out by Hyunseok's mouth on his.
some time
x-5, hyeonjin/jinwan, 347w, g
I need some time to settle down
Settling down needs some time
This time to settle down needs to be longer
Too many things are changing
-- "Need Some Time To Settle Down"
In time, Hyeonjin is certain this will past. "Give it time, give it just a little more time," he repeats to himself every morning and every night before bed. All he can do is wait it out; everything works itself out with time.
That's easy enough for his mind to process, but in the meantime he's becoming emotionally exhausted. No matter how much time he gives himself, he can't seem to adjust to the jumpiness, the violent reactions his body has every time they touch. And it's not like he can avoid the touching. Never mind that he can't tell Jinwan because he can't risk seeing that sad frown, that quiet disappointment, Hyeonjin doesn't think he could stop himself if he tried. His hands reach for his friend instinctively, whether it's for a hug or to pinch and tickle. He doesn't know how to walk without having an arm slung around the giant of a boy.
Now if only his body would cooperate. If only he could stop the sudden flashes of panic that grip him when Jinwan's hand grabs onto his own. If only he could keep his chest from constricting every time he feels Jinwan in his arms. He breathes a sigh of relief when they finally let go, but soon after finds himself looking for another excuse to latch onto Jinwan again. Maybe it's because he enjoys Jinwan's slightly embarrassed reactions, or maybe Hyeonjin is a closet masochist.
Just give it some time, he tells himself, and it'll go away. Nothing this strong can last forever, and he can be patient when he needs to be. Perhaps very soon he won't feel a thing when Jinwan slides into the seat beside him and cold fingers brush his. Or maybe he'll adjust to the pangs of whatever emotion this is that he refuses to recognize.
First thing in the morning, Hyeonjin grabs Jinwan in a tight hug from behind, smiling at the way his heartbeat races and Jinwan's hands grip his arm sleepily. If it's going to take some time, Hyeonjin hopes it takes forever.