kpfm drabble dump #1 (u-kiss)
u-kiss. soohyun-centric. g. 494w.
No one knows how it happens. Even after being examined by the experts, the only answer Soohyun gets is, 'it must be something mental.'
Kibum gives him a rough slap on the arm and insists, 'No worries, take all the time you need, hyung.' Kevin nods and squeezes his hand with tears in his eyes.
Dongho pouts and, for once, has nothing to say. He hugs Soohyun's arm and, when Soohyun looks at him, looks away. Eli has to promise the kid seven different expensive meals in order to pry the kid away. Eli gives Soohyun a worried glance, which is probably intended to be comforting, but Soohyun finds that the smile he gives in return is forced.
Xander just tells him to get some rest, and that he'll ask his family for some home remedies. He's the only one who looks genuinely unaffected by the entire thing, and somehow that's far more comforting that all the looks of sympathy. Soohyun gives him and a tight hug and Xander sighs against his shoulder.
It's Kiseob who doesn't do anything. He looks at Soohyun and his face quivers. Soohyun wants to hug him but honestly he can't take another person crying all over him. He doesn't know how long his mother was crying, leaning against him as they awaited his results in the hospital. Her eyes were so red, desperate, nearly identical to Kiseob's-- wide and scared and full of nothing but love which Soohyun can't handle or return right now. His heart aches when Kiseob blinks and walks from the room, going somewhere else to let those tears fall in order to not bother Soohyun, but he can't will himself to do anything about it.
His cellphone is full of unread text messages-- from old friends, from Jokwon, from Junho, from Hyungjoon who tells him that if Kibum says anything inappropriate, let him know, from practically everyone he's every known. He doesn't return them, nor the countless missed calls, because he can't.
He can't say anything. Because his voice is gone. Completely gone. He opens his mouth and his lungs can't force the air from his lungs in the way he wants. He doesn't even get gasps of air, just ominous silence. U-Kiss' activities are put on hold. Everyone's, not just Soohyun's, because the others insist that this is an issue for the entire band. They're all here for him. He'll never feel alone.
It's suffocating. They're supposed to be recording a new album. Kevin is supposed to be shooting a new commercial. Eli and Dongho are finally going to be MCs on a music show, though who knows why they let Eli anywhere near that job. He wishes they would just keep going without him. He's strong, he can pull through this, or at least that's what he keeps hearing. There's no point in holding everyone back. They would do just fine without him.
All he ever had was his voice.
u-kiss/2pm. soohyun/junho. g. 845w.
It's rare that Junho gets to be like this, around other idols in a somewhat relaxed atmosphere. That's why he loves sports-related variety shows; they're some of the few shows which are impossible to script in their entirety, so instead of fake smiles and cheesy one-liners, he can run around and enjoy himself. Actually enjoy himself, not just pretend.
He's walking back toward his bandmates when someone grabs his arm roughly, almost dragging him downward. A bleach-blond head with a tiny ponytail on top bobs into his vision, followed by a sweaty, smiling face that is familiar and missed.
"Hyung," he greets quietly as Soohyun links their arms and leads him away, toward the track and around everyone else who are too distracted to notice the pair.
"Did I surprise you?" the always grinning man asks with obvious delight, swinging Junho's arm in his. As they walk about with no planned course in mind, that arm moves from wrapping around Junho's shoulder, to hugging him waist tightly in a way that says missed you, not letting go until I have to and then moving back to Junho's arm to keep him from heading back to the crowd. "You've all been busy," Soohyun says, just making small-talk as he waves to Nickhun and Junsu who've caught sight of them.
Junho sighs and nods. The past few weeks-- months, maybe?-- have been nothing but performances, recordings, commercials, appearance after appearance in a mad rush to take full advantage of their momentum. "I hear you have, too."
"Finally," Soohyun replies, voice tired and even sad, which makes Junho cock his head because if there's one thing Shin Soohyun isn't, it's down.
But when he looks at his old friend's face, that same old shining smile is back, eyes bright with excitement and enthusiasm which Junho envies. Lately he's been so tired that the mere thought of enthusiasm makes him groan. "It's hard to believe," Soohyun continues when Junho says nothing, "that all those years ago, you and I were in the same place."
"It's not that hard to believe," Junho insists quickly. They stop walking and stand behind a crowd of their friends-- Yoseob is playing with Junhyung and the 4minute girls are shouting teases at them both. Junho notices Khun chatting with Taemin and he wonders where Taecyeon got off to.
Then he spies some of the other members of U-Kiss-- admittedly, he's only recently learned their names, after being chided by Soohyun that just because he's a huge star doesn't mean he can be so oblivious. One, Kiseob, if he remembers correctly, because he's the new one, is staring at the two of them blatantly, but grins when he notices Junho staring back. Soohyun, his arm around Junho's shoulders, cranes his neck, grins, and waves back at his friend. Junho gives a small wave, too.
"He looks happy," he comments, not sure why.
Soohyun laughs. "He's generally a very happy guy. And what, you're not happy?" He looks at Junho out of the corner of his eye and Junho smiles a little.
"I'm tired, hyung. But happy and tired often go together nowadays."
"So true," he sighs and leans his head on Junho's shoulder, despite it being awkward since they're pretty much the same height. He's heavy and Junho wants to shove him off, just to have Soohyun growl and grab and tickle him like the old days.
Something about being around Soohyun, even for these brief moments during variety shows or backstage during music shows, makes Junho crave to be a trainee. He craves his old naivety, when he didn't really know what it meant to be exhausted and didn't want to understand the downsides to being famous.
"Do you ever regret it?" he asks vaguely.
"Regret what?" Soohyun stifles a yawn.
"Leaving," he says, and his throats tightens. He can feel Soohyun staring at him now. "If you had stayed, you could be with us. You could have awards, recognition, all of this..." he trails off.
The man beside him is uncharacteristically quiet for what feels like an eternity. Suddenly a bright, wide-eyed face appears before them. Kiseob, he's sure of it this time.
"Hyung, they're filming us next." With that, he trots back off and Soohyun sighs heavily, patting Junho's shoulder.
"I've learned a lot of things by being with those guys," he finally replies, giving Junho a knowing grin. "We may get made fun of, we may never win awards and we may never, ever really make it, but," he glances over at his friends, "I wouldn't trade what I have with them for any of that."
He gives Junho a final pat on the arm and calls back as he jogs away, "Call me, I'll take you out drinking!" Junho watches him tumble into his bandmates' arms and whoop and laugh, and a cold weight settles in his stomach. He wonders what he regrets, what he would trade to know what Soohyun knows.
Taecyeon re-appears next to Khun and Junho joins them on the field. He's never felt more exhausted.
No one knows how it happens. Even after being examined by the experts, the only answer Soohyun gets is, 'it must be something mental.'
Kibum gives him a rough slap on the arm and insists, 'No worries, take all the time you need, hyung.' Kevin nods and squeezes his hand with tears in his eyes.
Dongho pouts and, for once, has nothing to say. He hugs Soohyun's arm and, when Soohyun looks at him, looks away. Eli has to promise the kid seven different expensive meals in order to pry the kid away. Eli gives Soohyun a worried glance, which is probably intended to be comforting, but Soohyun finds that the smile he gives in return is forced.
Xander just tells him to get some rest, and that he'll ask his family for some home remedies. He's the only one who looks genuinely unaffected by the entire thing, and somehow that's far more comforting that all the looks of sympathy. Soohyun gives him and a tight hug and Xander sighs against his shoulder.
It's Kiseob who doesn't do anything. He looks at Soohyun and his face quivers. Soohyun wants to hug him but honestly he can't take another person crying all over him. He doesn't know how long his mother was crying, leaning against him as they awaited his results in the hospital. Her eyes were so red, desperate, nearly identical to Kiseob's-- wide and scared and full of nothing but love which Soohyun can't handle or return right now. His heart aches when Kiseob blinks and walks from the room, going somewhere else to let those tears fall in order to not bother Soohyun, but he can't will himself to do anything about it.
His cellphone is full of unread text messages-- from old friends, from Jokwon, from Junho, from Hyungjoon who tells him that if Kibum says anything inappropriate, let him know, from practically everyone he's every known. He doesn't return them, nor the countless missed calls, because he can't.
He can't say anything. Because his voice is gone. Completely gone. He opens his mouth and his lungs can't force the air from his lungs in the way he wants. He doesn't even get gasps of air, just ominous silence. U-Kiss' activities are put on hold. Everyone's, not just Soohyun's, because the others insist that this is an issue for the entire band. They're all here for him. He'll never feel alone.
It's suffocating. They're supposed to be recording a new album. Kevin is supposed to be shooting a new commercial. Eli and Dongho are finally going to be MCs on a music show, though who knows why they let Eli anywhere near that job. He wishes they would just keep going without him. He's strong, he can pull through this, or at least that's what he keeps hearing. There's no point in holding everyone back. They would do just fine without him.
All he ever had was his voice.
u-kiss/2pm. soohyun/junho. g. 845w.
It's rare that Junho gets to be like this, around other idols in a somewhat relaxed atmosphere. That's why he loves sports-related variety shows; they're some of the few shows which are impossible to script in their entirety, so instead of fake smiles and cheesy one-liners, he can run around and enjoy himself. Actually enjoy himself, not just pretend.
He's walking back toward his bandmates when someone grabs his arm roughly, almost dragging him downward. A bleach-blond head with a tiny ponytail on top bobs into his vision, followed by a sweaty, smiling face that is familiar and missed.
"Hyung," he greets quietly as Soohyun links their arms and leads him away, toward the track and around everyone else who are too distracted to notice the pair.
"Did I surprise you?" the always grinning man asks with obvious delight, swinging Junho's arm in his. As they walk about with no planned course in mind, that arm moves from wrapping around Junho's shoulder, to hugging him waist tightly in a way that says missed you, not letting go until I have to and then moving back to Junho's arm to keep him from heading back to the crowd. "You've all been busy," Soohyun says, just making small-talk as he waves to Nickhun and Junsu who've caught sight of them.
Junho sighs and nods. The past few weeks-- months, maybe?-- have been nothing but performances, recordings, commercials, appearance after appearance in a mad rush to take full advantage of their momentum. "I hear you have, too."
"Finally," Soohyun replies, voice tired and even sad, which makes Junho cock his head because if there's one thing Shin Soohyun isn't, it's down.
But when he looks at his old friend's face, that same old shining smile is back, eyes bright with excitement and enthusiasm which Junho envies. Lately he's been so tired that the mere thought of enthusiasm makes him groan. "It's hard to believe," Soohyun continues when Junho says nothing, "that all those years ago, you and I were in the same place."
"It's not that hard to believe," Junho insists quickly. They stop walking and stand behind a crowd of their friends-- Yoseob is playing with Junhyung and the 4minute girls are shouting teases at them both. Junho notices Khun chatting with Taemin and he wonders where Taecyeon got off to.
Then he spies some of the other members of U-Kiss-- admittedly, he's only recently learned their names, after being chided by Soohyun that just because he's a huge star doesn't mean he can be so oblivious. One, Kiseob, if he remembers correctly, because he's the new one, is staring at the two of them blatantly, but grins when he notices Junho staring back. Soohyun, his arm around Junho's shoulders, cranes his neck, grins, and waves back at his friend. Junho gives a small wave, too.
"He looks happy," he comments, not sure why.
Soohyun laughs. "He's generally a very happy guy. And what, you're not happy?" He looks at Junho out of the corner of his eye and Junho smiles a little.
"I'm tired, hyung. But happy and tired often go together nowadays."
"So true," he sighs and leans his head on Junho's shoulder, despite it being awkward since they're pretty much the same height. He's heavy and Junho wants to shove him off, just to have Soohyun growl and grab and tickle him like the old days.
Something about being around Soohyun, even for these brief moments during variety shows or backstage during music shows, makes Junho crave to be a trainee. He craves his old naivety, when he didn't really know what it meant to be exhausted and didn't want to understand the downsides to being famous.
"Do you ever regret it?" he asks vaguely.
"Regret what?" Soohyun stifles a yawn.
"Leaving," he says, and his throats tightens. He can feel Soohyun staring at him now. "If you had stayed, you could be with us. You could have awards, recognition, all of this..." he trails off.
The man beside him is uncharacteristically quiet for what feels like an eternity. Suddenly a bright, wide-eyed face appears before them. Kiseob, he's sure of it this time.
"Hyung, they're filming us next." With that, he trots back off and Soohyun sighs heavily, patting Junho's shoulder.
"I've learned a lot of things by being with those guys," he finally replies, giving Junho a knowing grin. "We may get made fun of, we may never win awards and we may never, ever really make it, but," he glances over at his friends, "I wouldn't trade what I have with them for any of that."
He gives Junho a final pat on the arm and calls back as he jogs away, "Call me, I'll take you out drinking!" Junho watches him tumble into his bandmates' arms and whoop and laugh, and a cold weight settles in his stomach. He wonders what he regrets, what he would trade to know what Soohyun knows.
Taecyeon re-appears next to Khun and Junho joins them on the field. He's never felt more exhausted.