mission (oneshot)
Title: Mission
Pairing: None, Junhyung-centric
Genre: alternate reality, slight angst
Word Count: 1434
Rating: G
Warnings: None
Summary: No one even stopped to consider what would happen if Doojoon didn't come back.
Doojoon leaves to film Danbi directly after the performance as planned. The members are scattered around the dorm, exhausted, and don't bother to say goodbye. They are not even sure where he's going this time- he'll be back soon, as always, as planned. Junhyung remembers Doojoon's face as he walked out the door and the excitement and eagerness written all over it. He remembers smiling and feeling proud to have such a leader, one who finds such joy in helping. Who wouldn't be proud?
Three days pass and he hasn't returned. Their manager assures them that Doojoon's work is just taking more time- every location has different needs. He's just doing what he needs to.
Five days pass and Junhyung doesn't feel reassured anymore when his manager tells him to stop worrying, because as he does so, he eyes shift away, and there are dark shadows beneath them. Their manager gets calls every hour or so, and he takes every one of them a safe distance away. Junhyung tries to sneak up on him, but overhears nothing of substance. Yoseob catches him, and with a shaky smile tells Junhyung reminds him he shouldn't worry- this happened before, right? Soon Doojoon will be back, full of apologies and stories which will make them all feel like lazy assholes when compared to Doojoon.
But the nervously fidgeting fans lined up outside the CUBE building, pressing them with questions and teary eyes, mirror Junhyung's mind. He is the only one not completely surprised, after nine days of waiting, when their manager gathers them in the living of their room and gives them their answer: "He says he's staying in Haiti."
CUBE makes the announcement within a week, and Junhyung is suddenly a leader.
Nine months later, Junhyung steps off a tiny airplane wearing a suit not appropriate for the sudden climate change. He's been allowed this trip on the pretense that it last one day and one day only, and that absolutely no one else knows of it. His bandmates think he's visiting distant relatives and were all fast asleep when he quietly left the dorm.
A blond woman waves him over from edge of the landing strip. She says something in English, but he picks out Doojoon's name and nods quickly, repeating the name a few times. Pointing out a small building a ways away with a giant red cross on the banner outside, she leads the way, chattering to him in English, though he has no idea what she's saying. She leaves him at the door with a wave goodbye and makes her way back in the direction of the landing strip. After fives minutes of pretending to read the many English signs nailed to the wall of the building, he reaches for the handle. As it swings open, a pair of small children with dusty faces and baggy clothing bolt out, nearly toppling him over. They eye him curiously for a second before taking off again, hand in hand.
He peeks inside the door to find an empty lobby-like area. The floor is in need of a sweeping and papers are piled everywhere on the desk. He hears someone talking in an adjoining room and tries to sneak over, only to have the floorboards creak.
"Who's there?" Despite the now-improved English, Junhyung recognizes the voice immediately. He goes to answer, but at the last minute isn't sure what to say, or even what language to use, and ends up coughing awkwardly instead. He hears laughter followed by, "Just come on back!"
Back behind the desk and through the cracked door, he finds Doojoon sitting in an old office chair, barefoot, hunched over the scraped knee of a small boy on a stool. His hair is oddly shaggy, hanging in his face as he concentrates on applying a band-aid. The kid smiles at Doojoon and thanks him in English, scampering out of the room after shooting Junhyung an odd look. Doojoon looks at Junhyung and smiles, happy and yet somehow not surprised at all.
They spend the afternoon touring the camp. Doojoon points out the different projects he's working on, the people from the Peace Corps he's met and befriended, and countless children with foreign names that Junhyung can't pronounce. Junhyung stays nearly silent the entire time, only mumbling a comment or two as they go along, and Doojoon doesn't press him. The others are friendly enough, though Junhyung gets more than a few incredulous looks until he finally changes out of his suit. Doojoon's spare clothing fits well enough, but there's something awkward about walking around in clothes that don't belong to him, in a place that does not belong to him.
That night Doojoon leads him back to the cabin, pausing as he stares at his small cot. Smiling, he gives Junhyung a mischievous look. "How about we sleep outside?" He shrugs in response, and Doojoon shoves a sleeping bag into his arms and hurries him back out of the building.
The pitch black sky stretches out forever above where they lay on their backs, staring intently upward. Countless stars break up the darkness, sprinkled around a glowing half-moon. Doojoon points out a few constellations, one hand waving in front of him while the other he uses as a pillow. Out of the corner of his eye, Junhyung watches Doojoon's face, illuminated by the dim light of the moon and very serene. The dark circles he remembers have long faded. His cheeks are fuller. His entire body is somehow fuller, but toned, from months of daily manual labor. He looks healthier- tanned and strong on the outside, serene on the inside. As Junhyung watches, Doojoon peeks over and grins.
"I heard you guys won a lot of awards recently."
Junhyung averts his gaze, peering back at the sky. "Yeah," he says, noncommittal.
"I heard your latest song; it's great."
He grunts, nodding. He doesn't tell Doojoon that this time around, he hadn't bothered to help write the rap, and that they never sounded quite right during their performances nowadays.
"I'm really happy for you. You all deserve this."
Another grunt, followed by, "So do you." He hears Doojoon chuckle, quietly.
"You've worked so hard," Doojoon says.
"So have you."
"And I'm happy where I am, Junhyung." His voice is almost a whisper now. "If I had gone back, I would have held you back."
Junhyung can't answer that, so he doesn't. He can't tell Junhyung that Kikwang cried for a week straight, or that Hyunseung now spends more time in the practice room than he does in the dorm. There's no way he can tell him that Dongwoon is still lost, never knowing where to stand on stage or who to sit next to on long car rides. More than anything, he can't say that Yoseob barely smiles anymore- labeled a "new image" by the fans and taken advantage of by CUBE- or that Yoseob's voice cracks during every live performance, his eyes holding no joy when he sings. He needs Doojoon's advice, because Junhyung isn't meant to be a leader. Hyunseung slams the door in his face and Dongwoon shoves him away with a smile. Yoseob laughs at him bitterly and claims he's "all right." The band is broken and off-balance, and he doesn't know how to put the boys back together, because their centerpiece is missing. Junhyung can't force himself into a space he was never supposed to fill.
"Maybe I should stay, too," he says after a long while, smiling despite himself. Beside him, Doojoon bursts out laughing, making Junhyung jump in his sleeping bag.
"S-sorry," he gasps, tears in his eyes. "But somehow I can't picture you out here, in those clothes, every day." He rubs his eyes, sighing. "You belong on stage, Junhyung. You would never be happy without music."
Tempted to argue, Junhyung wants to ask how Doojoon can be happy without music, if he is happy now, but he stops himself. The answer is there before him, in the calmness of Doojoon's expression and the way he looks so much.... better in the moonlight, rather than the stifling, artificial lights of the stage. The stars glare down at Junhyung, a million eyes scrutinizing him, reminding him of everything he has waiting for him. A hand grabs his, Doojoon grinning indulgently. "They're beautiful, aren't they?"
Junhyung tells him that he agrees.
Back in his suit, Junhyung allows himself to lean against Doojoon as the small airplane roars onto the landing strip. During one last, lingering hug, Doojoon asks him to tell everyone he says hello. Junhyung says he will, even though they both know he won't.
Pairing: None, Junhyung-centric
Genre: alternate reality, slight angst
Word Count: 1434
Rating: G
Warnings: None
Summary: No one even stopped to consider what would happen if Doojoon didn't come back.
Doojoon leaves to film Danbi directly after the performance as planned. The members are scattered around the dorm, exhausted, and don't bother to say goodbye. They are not even sure where he's going this time- he'll be back soon, as always, as planned. Junhyung remembers Doojoon's face as he walked out the door and the excitement and eagerness written all over it. He remembers smiling and feeling proud to have such a leader, one who finds such joy in helping. Who wouldn't be proud?
Three days pass and he hasn't returned. Their manager assures them that Doojoon's work is just taking more time- every location has different needs. He's just doing what he needs to.
Five days pass and Junhyung doesn't feel reassured anymore when his manager tells him to stop worrying, because as he does so, he eyes shift away, and there are dark shadows beneath them. Their manager gets calls every hour or so, and he takes every one of them a safe distance away. Junhyung tries to sneak up on him, but overhears nothing of substance. Yoseob catches him, and with a shaky smile tells Junhyung reminds him he shouldn't worry- this happened before, right? Soon Doojoon will be back, full of apologies and stories which will make them all feel like lazy assholes when compared to Doojoon.
But the nervously fidgeting fans lined up outside the CUBE building, pressing them with questions and teary eyes, mirror Junhyung's mind. He is the only one not completely surprised, after nine days of waiting, when their manager gathers them in the living of their room and gives them their answer: "He says he's staying in Haiti."
CUBE makes the announcement within a week, and Junhyung is suddenly a leader.
Nine months later, Junhyung steps off a tiny airplane wearing a suit not appropriate for the sudden climate change. He's been allowed this trip on the pretense that it last one day and one day only, and that absolutely no one else knows of it. His bandmates think he's visiting distant relatives and were all fast asleep when he quietly left the dorm.
A blond woman waves him over from edge of the landing strip. She says something in English, but he picks out Doojoon's name and nods quickly, repeating the name a few times. Pointing out a small building a ways away with a giant red cross on the banner outside, she leads the way, chattering to him in English, though he has no idea what she's saying. She leaves him at the door with a wave goodbye and makes her way back in the direction of the landing strip. After fives minutes of pretending to read the many English signs nailed to the wall of the building, he reaches for the handle. As it swings open, a pair of small children with dusty faces and baggy clothing bolt out, nearly toppling him over. They eye him curiously for a second before taking off again, hand in hand.
He peeks inside the door to find an empty lobby-like area. The floor is in need of a sweeping and papers are piled everywhere on the desk. He hears someone talking in an adjoining room and tries to sneak over, only to have the floorboards creak.
"Who's there?" Despite the now-improved English, Junhyung recognizes the voice immediately. He goes to answer, but at the last minute isn't sure what to say, or even what language to use, and ends up coughing awkwardly instead. He hears laughter followed by, "Just come on back!"
Back behind the desk and through the cracked door, he finds Doojoon sitting in an old office chair, barefoot, hunched over the scraped knee of a small boy on a stool. His hair is oddly shaggy, hanging in his face as he concentrates on applying a band-aid. The kid smiles at Doojoon and thanks him in English, scampering out of the room after shooting Junhyung an odd look. Doojoon looks at Junhyung and smiles, happy and yet somehow not surprised at all.
They spend the afternoon touring the camp. Doojoon points out the different projects he's working on, the people from the Peace Corps he's met and befriended, and countless children with foreign names that Junhyung can't pronounce. Junhyung stays nearly silent the entire time, only mumbling a comment or two as they go along, and Doojoon doesn't press him. The others are friendly enough, though Junhyung gets more than a few incredulous looks until he finally changes out of his suit. Doojoon's spare clothing fits well enough, but there's something awkward about walking around in clothes that don't belong to him, in a place that does not belong to him.
That night Doojoon leads him back to the cabin, pausing as he stares at his small cot. Smiling, he gives Junhyung a mischievous look. "How about we sleep outside?" He shrugs in response, and Doojoon shoves a sleeping bag into his arms and hurries him back out of the building.
The pitch black sky stretches out forever above where they lay on their backs, staring intently upward. Countless stars break up the darkness, sprinkled around a glowing half-moon. Doojoon points out a few constellations, one hand waving in front of him while the other he uses as a pillow. Out of the corner of his eye, Junhyung watches Doojoon's face, illuminated by the dim light of the moon and very serene. The dark circles he remembers have long faded. His cheeks are fuller. His entire body is somehow fuller, but toned, from months of daily manual labor. He looks healthier- tanned and strong on the outside, serene on the inside. As Junhyung watches, Doojoon peeks over and grins.
"I heard you guys won a lot of awards recently."
Junhyung averts his gaze, peering back at the sky. "Yeah," he says, noncommittal.
"I heard your latest song; it's great."
He grunts, nodding. He doesn't tell Doojoon that this time around, he hadn't bothered to help write the rap, and that they never sounded quite right during their performances nowadays.
"I'm really happy for you. You all deserve this."
Another grunt, followed by, "So do you." He hears Doojoon chuckle, quietly.
"You've worked so hard," Doojoon says.
"So have you."
"And I'm happy where I am, Junhyung." His voice is almost a whisper now. "If I had gone back, I would have held you back."
Junhyung can't answer that, so he doesn't. He can't tell Junhyung that Kikwang cried for a week straight, or that Hyunseung now spends more time in the practice room than he does in the dorm. There's no way he can tell him that Dongwoon is still lost, never knowing where to stand on stage or who to sit next to on long car rides. More than anything, he can't say that Yoseob barely smiles anymore- labeled a "new image" by the fans and taken advantage of by CUBE- or that Yoseob's voice cracks during every live performance, his eyes holding no joy when he sings. He needs Doojoon's advice, because Junhyung isn't meant to be a leader. Hyunseung slams the door in his face and Dongwoon shoves him away with a smile. Yoseob laughs at him bitterly and claims he's "all right." The band is broken and off-balance, and he doesn't know how to put the boys back together, because their centerpiece is missing. Junhyung can't force himself into a space he was never supposed to fill.
"Maybe I should stay, too," he says after a long while, smiling despite himself. Beside him, Doojoon bursts out laughing, making Junhyung jump in his sleeping bag.
"S-sorry," he gasps, tears in his eyes. "But somehow I can't picture you out here, in those clothes, every day." He rubs his eyes, sighing. "You belong on stage, Junhyung. You would never be happy without music."
Tempted to argue, Junhyung wants to ask how Doojoon can be happy without music, if he is happy now, but he stops himself. The answer is there before him, in the calmness of Doojoon's expression and the way he looks so much.... better in the moonlight, rather than the stifling, artificial lights of the stage. The stars glare down at Junhyung, a million eyes scrutinizing him, reminding him of everything he has waiting for him. A hand grabs his, Doojoon grinning indulgently. "They're beautiful, aren't they?"
Junhyung tells him that he agrees.
Back in his suit, Junhyung allows himself to lean against Doojoon as the small airplane roars onto the landing strip. During one last, lingering hug, Doojoon asks him to tell everyone he says hello. Junhyung says he will, even though they both know he won't.