Afternoon madness
I am sitting on my bed in my room, and the whole place is a mess. I have about 5 bags to unpack from, with half the contents spilled all over the room. It looks like a storm just hit. Looking at this from the corner i'm sitting in, I don't know how to start tackling it.
Usually I start with laundry, but laundry room is busy.
I reasoned that my life is in disarray because of the state of my room, but no matter how hard I try, (I've been trying the whole year) it always goes into a state of chaos. Thats probably due to the fact that I'm always on the move. Come back from one trip, dump my bag, pack another one quickly, (in 5 mins) then I'm off again.
Each time I come back to Dubai, I get depressed. I dunno if its because of Dubai, or my room. Guess the only way to find out is to organise it. But its so small... I dun have space to put all my things, and I dunno what to do with them. All that baggage.
To make things worse, I'm hitting a bump with my flatmate. i'm not sure how best to handle the situation, so I avoid it.
I find it really difficult when I can't speak my mind, or have to think about politically correct ways to put things across. I hate that undercurrent tension. I prefer to just fight/argue it out. When it comes to friends, the instant I find that I am unable to speak my mind with them, I detach. I feel that friends should be able to tell each other everything, good or bad, even if its about themselves, and know that the statement was not made with ill intent, and that they'll still love you. AIya, I dunno la, I'm really miserable. I want to just pack up and leave, except I KNOW that I will regret making such an impusive decision. I am just so unhappy in Dubai. I dunno how to make it better. I can't keep friends, and I feel as if I'm losing the ones I've already got. Everytime I start chatting with someone, I need to run off to go do something, or go somewhere. I need to call about 10 different people, but I can't find time with a 24 hour day and time difference. I can't keep up with everyone's lifes, and I fear they are forgetting me.
These are my friends for life. If I don't have them, I don't have anyone! I doubt the friends I've made in Dubai will be around for me in the long run. I don't know what I am doing! I am constantly on the go, so much so that once I stop, and have time to myself, I dunno what to do with myself, and I just want to run away all over again so I won't feel this way. This can't be normal. I feel myself spiralling out of control inside, and I don't know how to stop. I don't know how to make things better. I just want to be happy. I dunno how to be happy. I can play the piano and escape for the moment, but the feeling comes back to haunt me without fail. I HAVE to clean my room.
Usually I start with laundry, but laundry room is busy.
I reasoned that my life is in disarray because of the state of my room, but no matter how hard I try, (I've been trying the whole year) it always goes into a state of chaos. Thats probably due to the fact that I'm always on the move. Come back from one trip, dump my bag, pack another one quickly, (in 5 mins) then I'm off again.
Each time I come back to Dubai, I get depressed. I dunno if its because of Dubai, or my room. Guess the only way to find out is to organise it. But its so small... I dun have space to put all my things, and I dunno what to do with them. All that baggage.
To make things worse, I'm hitting a bump with my flatmate. i'm not sure how best to handle the situation, so I avoid it.
I find it really difficult when I can't speak my mind, or have to think about politically correct ways to put things across. I hate that undercurrent tension. I prefer to just fight/argue it out. When it comes to friends, the instant I find that I am unable to speak my mind with them, I detach. I feel that friends should be able to tell each other everything, good or bad, even if its about themselves, and know that the statement was not made with ill intent, and that they'll still love you. AIya, I dunno la, I'm really miserable. I want to just pack up and leave, except I KNOW that I will regret making such an impusive decision. I am just so unhappy in Dubai. I dunno how to make it better. I can't keep friends, and I feel as if I'm losing the ones I've already got. Everytime I start chatting with someone, I need to run off to go do something, or go somewhere. I need to call about 10 different people, but I can't find time with a 24 hour day and time difference. I can't keep up with everyone's lifes, and I fear they are forgetting me.
These are my friends for life. If I don't have them, I don't have anyone! I doubt the friends I've made in Dubai will be around for me in the long run. I don't know what I am doing! I am constantly on the go, so much so that once I stop, and have time to myself, I dunno what to do with myself, and I just want to run away all over again so I won't feel this way. This can't be normal. I feel myself spiralling out of control inside, and I don't know how to stop. I don't know how to make things better. I just want to be happy. I dunno how to be happy. I can play the piano and escape for the moment, but the feeling comes back to haunt me without fail. I HAVE to clean my room.