Leaking Life: A Yunho One-shot [for Karin]
Title: Leaking Life
Pairings: Technically none. but i'm a diehard yunjae fan, so there are minute implications. very minute.
Rating: PG
Genre: Angsty-ish
Word Count: 1,150 what a nice number
A/N: Written for chocorynne who asked for something to make her cry. I don't think this will, since it's my first attempt at angst (weird, I know) but it's quite sad? And Yunho's the main focus because Jaejoong needs a break in angst fics, haha.
Summary: A whine tries to claw its way up his throat and he bites his lip harshly, piercing the soft skin. Blood begins to trickle from the open wound ever so slightly and he can feel the liquid slowly sliding down his chin. The blood's escaping just like his heart is.
There's a painful pulse running through his body, starting from his torso and tingling unpleasantly everywhere else.
He sucks in a breath, gasping for air and desperate for the pressure in his chest to ease.
Another breath.
And another.
A whine tries to claw its way up his throat and he bites his lip harshly, piercing the soft skin. Blood begins to trickle from the open wound ever so slightly and he can feel the liquid slowly sliding down his chin.
Tip. Tap.
It splatters on the ground with a ghastly sound, the bright red drop marring the originally pristine floor. It is quickly followed by more drops that pitter-patter onto the ground gently, a grotesque pattern drawing out as he tries to lick the blood off his lips. There was too much blood leaking, too much of his life pouring out too quickly and he's desperate to bring it back into him.
The iron taste infects his taste buds and as he sucks his lip in, the blood steadily runs in, a thin stream that he can sense all too well. He focuses on the taste, focuses on the way he can almost smell it now, focuses so hard that he almost misses the door slam open.
He whirls around, placing his foot over the little pool of blood, and wipes the lingering emotions off his face- eyes wide with genuine surprise, lips quirked with a fraudulent smile.
"Yunho-hyung, it's time to go..." Yoochun starts to speak, words trailing off as he frowns and stares at his sunbae, "Yunho... hyung?"
He tries to stretch his smile a little more, tries to cover the pain with fake happiness and he thinks it works, because Yoochun's not really frowning anymore, but he can see the confusion in his eyes.
Except it's not really confusion but he refuses to think on it.
"Let's go then, Yoochun. Can't keep people waiting," and he hustles Yoochun out of the small bathroom, surreptitiously wiping his shoe off the dark carpet outside the bathroom.
They're doing a recording for an interview to be broadcasted later and Yunho remembers to smile the entire time, remembers to summarize everything neatly just like a leader is supposed to do at the end. He laughs with the members, speaks seriously about their work and encourages everyone to keep supporting them no matter what happens.
Inside, he's trying so very hard to support himself.
The recording's over and they're out for dinner. Two of the other members have invited friends with them. There's a remarkably pretty girl, who has a remarkably pretty personality to boot. Not too sweet, not too needy, not too rough. She smiles at all the right places, her eyes twinkle with joy frequently, she touches freely yet carefully and her lips twist into smiles that are surely meant to soothe.
It hurts more.
There's a remarkably handsome man there as well. Who also seems to have a remarkably handsome personality. He charms everyone warmly, his hands are gentle when he passes a dish over, he laughs rambunctiously and his comments amuse them all.
It's not quite that funny.
The night ends with no one the wiser about the aches in his joints, the throbbing in his head. He continues to smile brightly and bids everyone a good night. Three of the members are whisked off by their friends and he grins at the last, a teasing remark on his lips.
Changmin smiles in good humor, but there's a tint of sadness at the corner of his mouth. He blinks and casts his gaze elsewhere, not knowing what or how to respond, not really even willing to say something about it. Changmin retreats to his room as soon as they get back.
Yunho goes to take a shower, slowly peeling the clothes off his body.
The water is turned on hot; hot and thrumming loudly onto the bathtub. He steps in carefully, barely wincing at the near boiling temperature and he lifts his face to the stream of water. His lip stings a little, the wound is opening up again.
The pain returns but he still does not react. Water keeps hitting his face and slipping down, following the contours of his features. He breathes in a shuddering gasp, accidentally swallowing some of the water. It's saltier than it should be.
Slowly, oh so slowly, he sinks down onto the bathtub, leaning against the side, eyes barely open to stare at the door across from him. There's a lump in his throat and his mouth cannot close anymore. He vehemently tries to draw in some air, tries to steady his breathing, but it comes in with staccatos, like hiccups. His torso jerks with every breath and he brings his knees in, arms wrapping around them, clutching his body closer together, and fervently trying to still his gasps.
It doesn't work and he continues to shake. There's a throbbing in his back and he knows he can't stay in that position for much longer; the aches are starting to get to be too much.
In a sudden move, Yunho snaps his head back, forcefully slamming it against the wall. There's a sharp momentary pain before it fades into a dull pang, lapsing back into a stronger throb every once in a while.
He does it again, just because it distracts him, fogs his head away from other things.
Again.
And again.
The shaking doesn't stop and his wild gasps make him taste more and more salt. He's tired from moving his neck and he lethargically places his head on his knees. The shower hits his head directly and he almost flinches at the needle-like drops, but he stills before he does so.
His mouth closes properly, his breathing steadies, his body slows down its shakes.
Breathe in. Breathe out.
He blinks and watches the blood run with the water, turning it a lighter red as it swirls down the drain.
There's a wound in his head, he realizes dimly, a hole that's letting blood out.
And he wonders, right before he falls onto his side, his mind falling into a daze, if the hole in his head could be fixed to keep the blood in.
He wonders if the hole in his heart could be fixed to keep his family in.
He wonders if the hole in his back could be fixed so that he can keep his life in place.
When he feels the water turning cold, sees the red turning pink, dimly hears the banging on the door, tastes his mouth getting dry as he gasps for breath again, he wonders how the gods of the east would ever rise again when they were missing one.
Then, for the last time, he wonders as his mind sluggishly flashes back to the dinner that night, if it would even matter that there will only be four gods left now.
End~
Minor notes:
1) Er... I did my best to make it angsty, I'm not sure how it worked out.
2) You could make your own assumptions about what's going on, but I left enough hints to lead you into certain ideas. I could always explain if you want to know what I'm thinking.
3) I didn't want to write a YunJae angst fic to add to the large pile that already exists, so I did a plain Yunho angst (since, like I said, Jae needs a breather). With some minor YunJae angst if you try to look for it because Yunho in pain involves Jae (at least a little) for me.
I can do a YunJae one, or another member, if you want, rynne~
4) Um... I would be grateful for any comments as angst is not my forte. Feel free to scold me on how badly I wrote it. ^_^
Pairings: Technically none. but i'm a diehard yunjae fan, so there are minute implications. very minute.
Rating: PG
Genre: Angsty-ish
Word Count: 1,150 what a nice number
A/N: Written for chocorynne who asked for something to make her cry. I don't think this will, since it's my first attempt at angst (weird, I know) but it's quite sad? And Yunho's the main focus because Jaejoong needs a break in angst fics, haha.
Summary: A whine tries to claw its way up his throat and he bites his lip harshly, piercing the soft skin. Blood begins to trickle from the open wound ever so slightly and he can feel the liquid slowly sliding down his chin. The blood's escaping just like his heart is.
There's a painful pulse running through his body, starting from his torso and tingling unpleasantly everywhere else.
He sucks in a breath, gasping for air and desperate for the pressure in his chest to ease.
Another breath.
And another.
A whine tries to claw its way up his throat and he bites his lip harshly, piercing the soft skin. Blood begins to trickle from the open wound ever so slightly and he can feel the liquid slowly sliding down his chin.
Tip. Tap.
It splatters on the ground with a ghastly sound, the bright red drop marring the originally pristine floor. It is quickly followed by more drops that pitter-patter onto the ground gently, a grotesque pattern drawing out as he tries to lick the blood off his lips. There was too much blood leaking, too much of his life pouring out too quickly and he's desperate to bring it back into him.
The iron taste infects his taste buds and as he sucks his lip in, the blood steadily runs in, a thin stream that he can sense all too well. He focuses on the taste, focuses on the way he can almost smell it now, focuses so hard that he almost misses the door slam open.
He whirls around, placing his foot over the little pool of blood, and wipes the lingering emotions off his face- eyes wide with genuine surprise, lips quirked with a fraudulent smile.
"Yunho-hyung, it's time to go..." Yoochun starts to speak, words trailing off as he frowns and stares at his sunbae, "Yunho... hyung?"
He tries to stretch his smile a little more, tries to cover the pain with fake happiness and he thinks it works, because Yoochun's not really frowning anymore, but he can see the confusion in his eyes.
Except it's not really confusion but he refuses to think on it.
"Let's go then, Yoochun. Can't keep people waiting," and he hustles Yoochun out of the small bathroom, surreptitiously wiping his shoe off the dark carpet outside the bathroom.
They're doing a recording for an interview to be broadcasted later and Yunho remembers to smile the entire time, remembers to summarize everything neatly just like a leader is supposed to do at the end. He laughs with the members, speaks seriously about their work and encourages everyone to keep supporting them no matter what happens.
Inside, he's trying so very hard to support himself.
The recording's over and they're out for dinner. Two of the other members have invited friends with them. There's a remarkably pretty girl, who has a remarkably pretty personality to boot. Not too sweet, not too needy, not too rough. She smiles at all the right places, her eyes twinkle with joy frequently, she touches freely yet carefully and her lips twist into smiles that are surely meant to soothe.
It hurts more.
There's a remarkably handsome man there as well. Who also seems to have a remarkably handsome personality. He charms everyone warmly, his hands are gentle when he passes a dish over, he laughs rambunctiously and his comments amuse them all.
It's not quite that funny.
The night ends with no one the wiser about the aches in his joints, the throbbing in his head. He continues to smile brightly and bids everyone a good night. Three of the members are whisked off by their friends and he grins at the last, a teasing remark on his lips.
Changmin smiles in good humor, but there's a tint of sadness at the corner of his mouth. He blinks and casts his gaze elsewhere, not knowing what or how to respond, not really even willing to say something about it. Changmin retreats to his room as soon as they get back.
Yunho goes to take a shower, slowly peeling the clothes off his body.
The water is turned on hot; hot and thrumming loudly onto the bathtub. He steps in carefully, barely wincing at the near boiling temperature and he lifts his face to the stream of water. His lip stings a little, the wound is opening up again.
The pain returns but he still does not react. Water keeps hitting his face and slipping down, following the contours of his features. He breathes in a shuddering gasp, accidentally swallowing some of the water. It's saltier than it should be.
Slowly, oh so slowly, he sinks down onto the bathtub, leaning against the side, eyes barely open to stare at the door across from him. There's a lump in his throat and his mouth cannot close anymore. He vehemently tries to draw in some air, tries to steady his breathing, but it comes in with staccatos, like hiccups. His torso jerks with every breath and he brings his knees in, arms wrapping around them, clutching his body closer together, and fervently trying to still his gasps.
It doesn't work and he continues to shake. There's a throbbing in his back and he knows he can't stay in that position for much longer; the aches are starting to get to be too much.
In a sudden move, Yunho snaps his head back, forcefully slamming it against the wall. There's a sharp momentary pain before it fades into a dull pang, lapsing back into a stronger throb every once in a while.
He does it again, just because it distracts him, fogs his head away from other things.
Again.
And again.
The shaking doesn't stop and his wild gasps make him taste more and more salt. He's tired from moving his neck and he lethargically places his head on his knees. The shower hits his head directly and he almost flinches at the needle-like drops, but he stills before he does so.
His mouth closes properly, his breathing steadies, his body slows down its shakes.
Breathe in. Breathe out.
He blinks and watches the blood run with the water, turning it a lighter red as it swirls down the drain.
There's a wound in his head, he realizes dimly, a hole that's letting blood out.
And he wonders, right before he falls onto his side, his mind falling into a daze, if the hole in his head could be fixed to keep the blood in.
He wonders if the hole in his heart could be fixed to keep his family in.
He wonders if the hole in his back could be fixed so that he can keep his life in place.
When he feels the water turning cold, sees the red turning pink, dimly hears the banging on the door, tastes his mouth getting dry as he gasps for breath again, he wonders how the gods of the east would ever rise again when they were missing one.
Then, for the last time, he wonders as his mind sluggishly flashes back to the dinner that night, if it would even matter that there will only be four gods left now.
End~
Minor notes:
1) Er... I did my best to make it angsty, I'm not sure how it worked out.
2) You could make your own assumptions about what's going on, but I left enough hints to lead you into certain ideas. I could always explain if you want to know what I'm thinking.
3) I didn't want to write a YunJae angst fic to add to the large pile that already exists, so I did a plain Yunho angst (since, like I said, Jae needs a breather). With some minor YunJae angst if you try to look for it because Yunho in pain involves Jae (at least a little) for me.
I can do a YunJae one, or another member, if you want, rynne~
4) Um... I would be grateful for any comments as angst is not my forte. Feel free to scold me on how badly I wrote it. ^_^