(no subject)
I don't want to feel anyones emotions except for my own. Last night there were points where I had a really hard time remembering who I was and what I was feeling. I've got enough to figure out on my own, I don't need to feel other peoples extreme unhappiness. Or even other peoples extreme happiness, which is more fun but I'd rather just have my own moods. I'm not saying I want to be oblivious, I'm just saying that I don't want to start crying whenever I'm around someone else who's really upset and crying. And right now, that's what happens.
I want to keep my room. I like having my own space where no one projects anything at me especially as I seem to just keep getting more and more receptive to other people. I've never had the urge to decorate and make a space mine before, which probably has a lot to do with not having had my own room before. I haven't even unpacked, but I want that space to be mine and filled and decorated with me. But as Roya bailed on us at the last minute, we're probably in the market for a new roommate, and that will probably mean shuffling rooms around and someone's gonna have to share.
I don't know who would work well as a 4th roommate, but even if there wasn't the money issue I don't think things would work all that well with just the 3 of us either.
So now what? Moving in here was supposed to be a good thing, and now it's a big mess. We're not even going to have all three of us here at the same time to figure it out until after 2nd session, as Lorin won't get back from his family's house until about 12 hours after I leave for camp, and Becky leaves for 2nd session early on the same day I'll get back from camp late.
I'm going to go find some food (preferably sugar), take a shower, get over this and get ready for camp, as I leave in a couple days.
I want to keep my room. I like having my own space where no one projects anything at me especially as I seem to just keep getting more and more receptive to other people. I've never had the urge to decorate and make a space mine before, which probably has a lot to do with not having had my own room before. I haven't even unpacked, but I want that space to be mine and filled and decorated with me. But as Roya bailed on us at the last minute, we're probably in the market for a new roommate, and that will probably mean shuffling rooms around and someone's gonna have to share.
I don't know who would work well as a 4th roommate, but even if there wasn't the money issue I don't think things would work all that well with just the 3 of us either.
So now what? Moving in here was supposed to be a good thing, and now it's a big mess. We're not even going to have all three of us here at the same time to figure it out until after 2nd session, as Lorin won't get back from his family's house until about 12 hours after I leave for camp, and Becky leaves for 2nd session early on the same day I'll get back from camp late.
I'm going to go find some food (preferably sugar), take a shower, get over this and get ready for camp, as I leave in a couple days.