More Than Nothing ch. 9: Drivelling
So hey! An update on "More Than Nothing"! I bet most of you have just been itching for this.
<<* You're still going to be irritated with me for cliff-hanger content, but I imagine I'll have the next chapter up within the next day or two. So like... Don'tkillmeplskthx.
This chapter is called "Drivelling" because honestly, I couldn't think of anything more creative. ^^* Tragic, I know... I'd say it's a fairly good summary of most of this chapter's content, though. It's not useless drivel, but there's a lot of drivelling...
Also, there's some sexual content in this one. Fantasies of a depraved mind (not mine; I've not hit the 'depraved' point yet). So... Read. Enjoy.
23 July
7 pm
My room
OhMerlin. The pain...
I fell asleep on the rock. In late afternoon daylight, of all times. I woke up and first realized how thirsty I was, then noticed how much the sun had moved since the last time I'd looked up.
At least I rolled over at some point in my sleep. The tomato color is evenly distributed.
Mum gave me some No-Burn salve, but it takes an hour to work effectively and has to be reapplied every six hours. In the mean time, I'm left feeling like my skin has turned into packaging paper, and I can't seem to get enough water.
I should never, ever do that again.
27 July
2:17 pm
My room
I am SO BORED. My skin is peeling from sunburn, which itches but then hurts when I scratch it. I don't want to move because every time I do, my skin feels like it wants to split off. I can barely wear anything besides that robe I got in China because everything else is too rough and makes my skin feel horrible. I can't do much else besides read and stare at the wall.
I hate sunburn. I hate it, I hate it!
3 August
12 pm
My room
I think the worst of the peeling is over. My skin is no longer red, but lightly tan. It'll be gone by November, of course, but I don't look bad with a tan.
My hair's been sun-bleached to almost white. I didn't realize it could get any lighter; Mum says it looks fantastic on me.
I've been trying to crush the thought of “Potter will take one look at me and...”
The “...” keeps leading off into a variety of possibilities, some which involve him staring like he's just seen the physical embodiment of sex walk past and others which end with us fucking senseless. The thoughts are empowering, but the reality is that it's very unlikely. He ended it. He's not going to restart it.
4 August
1:24 am
My room
If he did restart it, though!:
He'd see me at platform nine and three-quarters and not be able to look away. I'd pretend not to notice as I walked past. He, obviously unable to avert his gaze, would follow me as if he were hypnotized, leaving Mudblood and Weasel on the platform to wonder what was wrong with him.
I'd pick an empty compartment. Harry would try to follow me in, but I'd block the doorway.
“What do you want, Potter?” I would ask.
“You,” he would say. Then he'd step forward, pushing me back and closing the door behind him. He'd charm it shut and block the windows, then he'd pull me close and start pulling my clothes off while kissing me and nibbling at my lips, jaw, earlobes, neck, shoulders...
He'd get my shirt off and lick my chest while his hands brush over my stomach and then to my groin. He would massage there until I gasped in response, which wouldn't take that long, then undo my trousers and start sucking my cock. I would watch and enjoy. Then he wouldn't be able to resist anymore and he'd beg me to let him fuck me.
“Are you sure, Potter? You've never wanted it before.”
He would be feeling very desperate of course. “I want you more than anything,” he'd say, “I need to be inside you, I'll never be able to have sex with anyone else but you! Please Draco, please let me fuck you, I need this so badly!”
I would let him after that, of course. He would be completely out of his senses because of the thrill of being with me, and if he finished first I'd make him suck me off. No time to rest in between. And he'd like it, too.
Then we'd spend the rest of the train ride fucking each other like rabbits. He'd fall asleep during supper from exhaustion.
That's basically the sort of thing that's been running through my head all day. “How many different ways could I get Harry Potter?” Some of those instances involve him having to sit through the train ride knowing I'm on the same train but not being able to have time alone with me to do anything, then we get to Hogwarts and he's barely coherent enough to ask for it because he's so desperately wanting sex.
... I really need to do something about these feelings. Fantasizing is a great way to spend evenings alone, but this can't be good for me.
5 August
9:24 am
drawing room
I have been awake for three hours for no reason.
Absolutely none.
This is ridiculous.
I spent the first hour just staring at the canopy, thinking I might eventually fall back asleep. After realizing that wasn't working, I went down to the kitchen and demanded breakfast of the House-elves. (I've decided that I shall never watch them cook again; they are very haphazard about it, and while the food always tastes delicious, it's enough to give someone a nervous disorder watching them prepare it. I almost had a tablespoon of salt on my eggs because one of them knocked over the saltcellar, and the noise they make when they clean up would have you think they were trying to break every item in the kitchen.)
I watched the sunrise from the piano room, which is something I've wanted to do but never been awake for; with the very tall and wide windows there, the sunlight hits everything and tints it orange. Since Mum wasn't around to discourage me, I laid on the top of one of the grand pianos and let my head hang off the edge of the side facing the window. It reminded me a little of the first day of summer break, when I laid on the floor and then the bed so I could see everything from a different angle. The piano room upside down is very alarming when actually on a piano; there's this irrational fear that gravity will start working in the opposite direction, and then I'd be crushed between the ceiling and a piano. This is totally illogical, but when you're upside down, your mind starts trying to convince you of strange things.
Sunrise is incredible no matter how you look at it.
Now, though, it's almost nine thirty, the sky has clouded over and portends rain, and I have nothing to do.
10:42 am
my room
Found something to do. I rediscovered that crystal ball I got in China; it apparently turns different colors based on what color you want it to change, and the sparkles move. Not in any particular pattern. They just move and look interesting.
I could watch this for hours.
11:16 pm
my room
I didn't watch it for hours, but I'm watching it again now. It's even more interesting when the rest of the room is dark. The ball can become the main focal point instead of just a glowy thing in a lit room. It's entrancing, and I can turn it to a very soothing green-and-blue variation.
6 August
9 am
where else?
Just woke up. I fell asleep with the ball glowing. That was very relaxing.
10 August
3:46 pm
drawing room
I almost had a panic attack just now. I've been falling asleep with the crystal ball illuminating my room for the past several nights, and I was holding it when it slipped and hit the floor and BROKE.
I was swearing as I picked it up, then realized that it didn't shatter or crack-it split into two seperate crystal balls. I pushed them against each other, and they turned back into one ball.
I'm beginning to wonder what exactly it is that this thing does. There were no instructions, and the man at the counter who sold it didn't offer any precautions. No labels. It was on a display case with a bunch of other simple little decorative items, so I would think it safe to assume that it was nothing more than a pretty, magical decoration.
I wonder if change colors, sparkle, and break and reassemble is all it does? Or maybe that IS all, and it really is decorative and just has a charm against breaking on it?
11 August
12:32 pm
sitting room
Finally got an owl from the school with this year's book list. About time; school starts in almost three weeks. I imagine we'll have yet another new Defence Against The Dark Arts teacher. The last one spent so much time crying because the students thought she was a joke that she probably left.
I'm not Head Boy. As long as it doesn't end up being Weasel, I think I can take that. Granger's practically a shoo-in for Head Girl, and I don't want to be seen parallel to her all the time; however, if I get beaten out by Weasel, I might have to kill him.
I told Mum I got the book list, but she said it would be a few days before we could go school shopping. She's been invited on a trip for “The Girls”--a bunch of pureblooded witch-friends of Mum's--to Brazil for a few days. At least they won't be here; I love Mum, but when she gets together with her friends, it's like someone's put three-hundred budgies in the same room and cast a sonorous charm on all of them. It's almost impossible to escape the noise, and more frequently these days, “The Girls” has included Millicent and Pansy and some of the other older Slytherin girls. They're not bad on their own, either, but again... budgies. It's unbearable.
12 August
2:53 am
bedroom floor
I woke up and discovered the crystal ball was glowing green and full of black sparkles. How black can sparkle is a little beyond me, but it did. I know I'd 'told' it blue with hints of green when I went to bed, so I was a little surprised by that, then remembered I'd been dreaming about Harry's eyes.
Huh. The crystal's never done THAT before-pick up on dreams like that. Maybe I bumped it in my sleep?
5:12 am
bedroom floor again
This is apparently not a good night for sleeping.
I dreamed about Harry again. He must be on my mind. In this dream, the crystal was glowing and turning his skin blue and green from the light, and then it was as if he were radiating those colors instead of just reflecting them. From the awake and aware perspective, it looked bizzarre and unnatural; in the dream, though, it was as if this was normal behavior, and it was beautiful.
Green and blue aren't really his colors, though. Except for his eyes; those are green.
I don't know why I keep letting myself think of him. I just get upset every time because, no matter what I daydream (or simply dream) about, none of it is going to happen. I must have a tendency towards emotional masochism.
13 August
no clock
somewhere on the property
I've wandered away from the house to write today. It was perfectly sunny when I left, of course, but now that I've walked aimlessly for fifteen minutes, the sky is clouding over ominously. It doesn't smell like rain yet, but I've cast a waterproofing charm on the book anyway.
I wonder what it would be like to have sex in the rain. In the woods in the rain, even. All naked, maybe with a blanket underneath to protect against twigs, and everything dripping from rain. A nice, warm, summer rain. Even just a hand job would be interesting; all those raindrops sliding down my body like cool fingers, Harry's hand wrapped around my cock and the only places on me not getting rained on would be the places where he was.
Of course it would have to be Harry. I realized-much to my annoyance-that no one has my interest like he does. It figures that it's the one thing I can't have that I want most.
And I refuse to accept that that's the only reason I want him. It's not. I don't know why I want him, which is frustrating, but someone once said that having a reason for loving someone means you don't really love them.
As much as I would like to not really love him, I don't want to lie to myself and come up with a bunch of poorly founded reasons why it's not really love, either. I'd like it if this were just obsession, but obsession is reserved for a new plaything, something that takes up all of your time. I haven't seen Potter for months now and he's still on my mind. I'm pretty sure that means it's not obsession, but honest attachment.
Oh, hell... it's raining now...
14 August
12:34 pm
in bed
It figures that, while Mum's off in Brazil, I manage to catch a cold in the rain and have no one around besides the House-elves to care. I hate sneezing! My sinuses feel like they're going to explode. I don't know where Mum keeps the Pepper-up Potion anymore, either; the last time I had a cold at home, I was ten. She's rearranged everything (probably getting rid of Dad's toiletries; I noticed they can't be found anywhere, which means either she purged the house of them or she's keeping them some place she doesn't have to look at them), and now nothing's where I remember it.
I've been rereading notes from class from last year and trying to get my mind more school oriented before school actually starts. It's hard to focus, but I have nothing else to do right now.
17 August
3:17 pm
tea room
I spent most of the last couple days bordering on delirious from the cold, and while I can't remember most of what I said, I had the House-elves tell me. Though I'd like to be, I'm very unsurprised at how often Harry Potter was mentioned. I forbade any of them from ever mentioning it to my mother or anyone else for that matter, and they hastily agreed.
I remember some of the dreams, at least. I have a very active imagination when delirious. And graphic. I should mention graphic. I don't think anyone's had sex that good, nor will they ever . That was mindblowing. Now that I'm more aware of myself, I'm frustrated because none of it was real.
Dreaming about it was nice.
I've had the House-elves making cough-fighting teas all day; the worst is over, but my voice sounds horrible and coughing hurts.
Mum comes home tomorrow. She's going to feel guilty about being gone while I was ill and give me all sorts of delicious food, I just know it.
18 August
who cares where I am
or when?
I love my mother. I really do. And chocolate. Life is good, even when I have a cold.
19 August
6:27 pm
drawing room
School shopping tomorrow. New school robes as well. Based on some of the titles on this list, my trunk is going to be twice as heavy as last year from all the paper, but none of them give the implication of “eats hand when you try to open it,” which I appreciate. Maybe Dumbledore fired that stupid half-breed Hagrid?
That'd be asking too much.
20 August
7:30 am
my room
I don't WANT to be awake at this hour. Mum seems to think that we need to get up early this year to get school supplies. She claims there will be more first years this year than usual, so if I want to make sure to get fitted for school clothes I should go in earlier and get it out of the way before all the little ones come in and swamp Madam Malkin.
I think Mum's gone round the bend on this one. Madam Malkin has been doing this longer than my mother has been alive; I doubt she's going to have difficulty managing this year more than others.
Mum's invited over several of my classmates and their parents to celebrate the start of our seventh year this evening, and she's already got the House-elves working on dinner. Considering how much they're preparing, you'd think she had invited the entire class.
5:37 pm
my room
There is something terribly, terribly wrong with my head.
What in Merlin's name was I THINKING?!
It's the cold. It had to be after-effects from the cold affecting my judgment. In a normal state of mind, I would never do something so... Gryffindor!
AGH. I am a SLYTHERIN. What is WRONG with me?!
Bloody hell, dinner time.
<<* You're still going to be irritated with me for cliff-hanger content, but I imagine I'll have the next chapter up within the next day or two. So like... Don'tkillmeplskthx.
This chapter is called "Drivelling" because honestly, I couldn't think of anything more creative. ^^* Tragic, I know... I'd say it's a fairly good summary of most of this chapter's content, though. It's not useless drivel, but there's a lot of drivelling...
Also, there's some sexual content in this one. Fantasies of a depraved mind (not mine; I've not hit the 'depraved' point yet). So... Read. Enjoy.
23 July
7 pm
My room
OhMerlin. The pain...
I fell asleep on the rock. In late afternoon daylight, of all times. I woke up and first realized how thirsty I was, then noticed how much the sun had moved since the last time I'd looked up.
At least I rolled over at some point in my sleep. The tomato color is evenly distributed.
Mum gave me some No-Burn salve, but it takes an hour to work effectively and has to be reapplied every six hours. In the mean time, I'm left feeling like my skin has turned into packaging paper, and I can't seem to get enough water.
I should never, ever do that again.
27 July
2:17 pm
My room
I am SO BORED. My skin is peeling from sunburn, which itches but then hurts when I scratch it. I don't want to move because every time I do, my skin feels like it wants to split off. I can barely wear anything besides that robe I got in China because everything else is too rough and makes my skin feel horrible. I can't do much else besides read and stare at the wall.
I hate sunburn. I hate it, I hate it!
3 August
12 pm
My room
I think the worst of the peeling is over. My skin is no longer red, but lightly tan. It'll be gone by November, of course, but I don't look bad with a tan.
My hair's been sun-bleached to almost white. I didn't realize it could get any lighter; Mum says it looks fantastic on me.
I've been trying to crush the thought of “Potter will take one look at me and...”
The “...” keeps leading off into a variety of possibilities, some which involve him staring like he's just seen the physical embodiment of sex walk past and others which end with us fucking senseless. The thoughts are empowering, but the reality is that it's very unlikely. He ended it. He's not going to restart it.
4 August
1:24 am
My room
If he did restart it, though!:
He'd see me at platform nine and three-quarters and not be able to look away. I'd pretend not to notice as I walked past. He, obviously unable to avert his gaze, would follow me as if he were hypnotized, leaving Mudblood and Weasel on the platform to wonder what was wrong with him.
I'd pick an empty compartment. Harry would try to follow me in, but I'd block the doorway.
“What do you want, Potter?” I would ask.
“You,” he would say. Then he'd step forward, pushing me back and closing the door behind him. He'd charm it shut and block the windows, then he'd pull me close and start pulling my clothes off while kissing me and nibbling at my lips, jaw, earlobes, neck, shoulders...
He'd get my shirt off and lick my chest while his hands brush over my stomach and then to my groin. He would massage there until I gasped in response, which wouldn't take that long, then undo my trousers and start sucking my cock. I would watch and enjoy. Then he wouldn't be able to resist anymore and he'd beg me to let him fuck me.
“Are you sure, Potter? You've never wanted it before.”
He would be feeling very desperate of course. “I want you more than anything,” he'd say, “I need to be inside you, I'll never be able to have sex with anyone else but you! Please Draco, please let me fuck you, I need this so badly!”
I would let him after that, of course. He would be completely out of his senses because of the thrill of being with me, and if he finished first I'd make him suck me off. No time to rest in between. And he'd like it, too.
Then we'd spend the rest of the train ride fucking each other like rabbits. He'd fall asleep during supper from exhaustion.
That's basically the sort of thing that's been running through my head all day. “How many different ways could I get Harry Potter?” Some of those instances involve him having to sit through the train ride knowing I'm on the same train but not being able to have time alone with me to do anything, then we get to Hogwarts and he's barely coherent enough to ask for it because he's so desperately wanting sex.
... I really need to do something about these feelings. Fantasizing is a great way to spend evenings alone, but this can't be good for me.
5 August
9:24 am
drawing room
I have been awake for three hours for no reason.
Absolutely none.
This is ridiculous.
I spent the first hour just staring at the canopy, thinking I might eventually fall back asleep. After realizing that wasn't working, I went down to the kitchen and demanded breakfast of the House-elves. (I've decided that I shall never watch them cook again; they are very haphazard about it, and while the food always tastes delicious, it's enough to give someone a nervous disorder watching them prepare it. I almost had a tablespoon of salt on my eggs because one of them knocked over the saltcellar, and the noise they make when they clean up would have you think they were trying to break every item in the kitchen.)
I watched the sunrise from the piano room, which is something I've wanted to do but never been awake for; with the very tall and wide windows there, the sunlight hits everything and tints it orange. Since Mum wasn't around to discourage me, I laid on the top of one of the grand pianos and let my head hang off the edge of the side facing the window. It reminded me a little of the first day of summer break, when I laid on the floor and then the bed so I could see everything from a different angle. The piano room upside down is very alarming when actually on a piano; there's this irrational fear that gravity will start working in the opposite direction, and then I'd be crushed between the ceiling and a piano. This is totally illogical, but when you're upside down, your mind starts trying to convince you of strange things.
Sunrise is incredible no matter how you look at it.
Now, though, it's almost nine thirty, the sky has clouded over and portends rain, and I have nothing to do.
10:42 am
my room
Found something to do. I rediscovered that crystal ball I got in China; it apparently turns different colors based on what color you want it to change, and the sparkles move. Not in any particular pattern. They just move and look interesting.
I could watch this for hours.
11:16 pm
my room
I didn't watch it for hours, but I'm watching it again now. It's even more interesting when the rest of the room is dark. The ball can become the main focal point instead of just a glowy thing in a lit room. It's entrancing, and I can turn it to a very soothing green-and-blue variation.
6 August
9 am
where else?
Just woke up. I fell asleep with the ball glowing. That was very relaxing.
10 August
3:46 pm
drawing room
I almost had a panic attack just now. I've been falling asleep with the crystal ball illuminating my room for the past several nights, and I was holding it when it slipped and hit the floor and BROKE.
I was swearing as I picked it up, then realized that it didn't shatter or crack-it split into two seperate crystal balls. I pushed them against each other, and they turned back into one ball.
I'm beginning to wonder what exactly it is that this thing does. There were no instructions, and the man at the counter who sold it didn't offer any precautions. No labels. It was on a display case with a bunch of other simple little decorative items, so I would think it safe to assume that it was nothing more than a pretty, magical decoration.
I wonder if change colors, sparkle, and break and reassemble is all it does? Or maybe that IS all, and it really is decorative and just has a charm against breaking on it?
11 August
12:32 pm
sitting room
Finally got an owl from the school with this year's book list. About time; school starts in almost three weeks. I imagine we'll have yet another new Defence Against The Dark Arts teacher. The last one spent so much time crying because the students thought she was a joke that she probably left.
I'm not Head Boy. As long as it doesn't end up being Weasel, I think I can take that. Granger's practically a shoo-in for Head Girl, and I don't want to be seen parallel to her all the time; however, if I get beaten out by Weasel, I might have to kill him.
I told Mum I got the book list, but she said it would be a few days before we could go school shopping. She's been invited on a trip for “The Girls”--a bunch of pureblooded witch-friends of Mum's--to Brazil for a few days. At least they won't be here; I love Mum, but when she gets together with her friends, it's like someone's put three-hundred budgies in the same room and cast a sonorous charm on all of them. It's almost impossible to escape the noise, and more frequently these days, “The Girls” has included Millicent and Pansy and some of the other older Slytherin girls. They're not bad on their own, either, but again... budgies. It's unbearable.
12 August
2:53 am
bedroom floor
I woke up and discovered the crystal ball was glowing green and full of black sparkles. How black can sparkle is a little beyond me, but it did. I know I'd 'told' it blue with hints of green when I went to bed, so I was a little surprised by that, then remembered I'd been dreaming about Harry's eyes.
Huh. The crystal's never done THAT before-pick up on dreams like that. Maybe I bumped it in my sleep?
5:12 am
bedroom floor again
This is apparently not a good night for sleeping.
I dreamed about Harry again. He must be on my mind. In this dream, the crystal was glowing and turning his skin blue and green from the light, and then it was as if he were radiating those colors instead of just reflecting them. From the awake and aware perspective, it looked bizzarre and unnatural; in the dream, though, it was as if this was normal behavior, and it was beautiful.
Green and blue aren't really his colors, though. Except for his eyes; those are green.
I don't know why I keep letting myself think of him. I just get upset every time because, no matter what I daydream (or simply dream) about, none of it is going to happen. I must have a tendency towards emotional masochism.
13 August
no clock
somewhere on the property
I've wandered away from the house to write today. It was perfectly sunny when I left, of course, but now that I've walked aimlessly for fifteen minutes, the sky is clouding over ominously. It doesn't smell like rain yet, but I've cast a waterproofing charm on the book anyway.
I wonder what it would be like to have sex in the rain. In the woods in the rain, even. All naked, maybe with a blanket underneath to protect against twigs, and everything dripping from rain. A nice, warm, summer rain. Even just a hand job would be interesting; all those raindrops sliding down my body like cool fingers, Harry's hand wrapped around my cock and the only places on me not getting rained on would be the places where he was.
Of course it would have to be Harry. I realized-much to my annoyance-that no one has my interest like he does. It figures that it's the one thing I can't have that I want most.
And I refuse to accept that that's the only reason I want him. It's not. I don't know why I want him, which is frustrating, but someone once said that having a reason for loving someone means you don't really love them.
As much as I would like to not really love him, I don't want to lie to myself and come up with a bunch of poorly founded reasons why it's not really love, either. I'd like it if this were just obsession, but obsession is reserved for a new plaything, something that takes up all of your time. I haven't seen Potter for months now and he's still on my mind. I'm pretty sure that means it's not obsession, but honest attachment.
Oh, hell... it's raining now...
14 August
12:34 pm
in bed
It figures that, while Mum's off in Brazil, I manage to catch a cold in the rain and have no one around besides the House-elves to care. I hate sneezing! My sinuses feel like they're going to explode. I don't know where Mum keeps the Pepper-up Potion anymore, either; the last time I had a cold at home, I was ten. She's rearranged everything (probably getting rid of Dad's toiletries; I noticed they can't be found anywhere, which means either she purged the house of them or she's keeping them some place she doesn't have to look at them), and now nothing's where I remember it.
I've been rereading notes from class from last year and trying to get my mind more school oriented before school actually starts. It's hard to focus, but I have nothing else to do right now.
17 August
3:17 pm
tea room
I spent most of the last couple days bordering on delirious from the cold, and while I can't remember most of what I said, I had the House-elves tell me. Though I'd like to be, I'm very unsurprised at how often Harry Potter was mentioned. I forbade any of them from ever mentioning it to my mother or anyone else for that matter, and they hastily agreed.
I remember some of the dreams, at least. I have a very active imagination when delirious. And graphic. I should mention graphic. I don't think anyone's had sex that good, nor will they ever . That was mindblowing. Now that I'm more aware of myself, I'm frustrated because none of it was real.
Dreaming about it was nice.
I've had the House-elves making cough-fighting teas all day; the worst is over, but my voice sounds horrible and coughing hurts.
Mum comes home tomorrow. She's going to feel guilty about being gone while I was ill and give me all sorts of delicious food, I just know it.
18 August
who cares where I am
or when?
I love my mother. I really do. And chocolate. Life is good, even when I have a cold.
19 August
6:27 pm
drawing room
School shopping tomorrow. New school robes as well. Based on some of the titles on this list, my trunk is going to be twice as heavy as last year from all the paper, but none of them give the implication of “eats hand when you try to open it,” which I appreciate. Maybe Dumbledore fired that stupid half-breed Hagrid?
That'd be asking too much.
20 August
7:30 am
my room
I don't WANT to be awake at this hour. Mum seems to think that we need to get up early this year to get school supplies. She claims there will be more first years this year than usual, so if I want to make sure to get fitted for school clothes I should go in earlier and get it out of the way before all the little ones come in and swamp Madam Malkin.
I think Mum's gone round the bend on this one. Madam Malkin has been doing this longer than my mother has been alive; I doubt she's going to have difficulty managing this year more than others.
Mum's invited over several of my classmates and their parents to celebrate the start of our seventh year this evening, and she's already got the House-elves working on dinner. Considering how much they're preparing, you'd think she had invited the entire class.
5:37 pm
my room
There is something terribly, terribly wrong with my head.
What in Merlin's name was I THINKING?!
It's the cold. It had to be after-effects from the cold affecting my judgment. In a normal state of mind, I would never do something so... Gryffindor!
AGH. I am a SLYTHERIN. What is WRONG with me?!
Bloody hell, dinner time.