Shut that door quietly
Getting ready to go to CANADA!!!! and Orcas Island. Whenever I hear CANADA!!! in my head its always big, loud and yodelish. Dont ask me why. Andrew is coming after much discussion about what people really want, and living in the now, and dont think so much,and then finally the Nike slogan: Just Do It. Is that the Nike slogan? Pretty sure. Anyway not sure exactly how i feel about that. He is convinced we will get sick of eachtoher which is quite possible but why put that negative energy on it? Let what happens happen.
I went running a couple nights ago. I got a feeling i havent gotten since i was a child. A feeling like I need to get away from everyone and i mean EVERYONE. I dont know why it came all of a sudden. When i was with Andrew. And suddenly it felt like everything was too close, i was being exposed and everyone could see the sides of me that i hate. So i ran. Without an explanation, i got my car keys and jammed out of that place. I had a huge sense of urgency as i laced up my running shoes and I knew that this was exactly what i needed to do. I havent ran like that in a long time. I ignored my screaming body even when I couldnt drown it out with music. And when it got more painful i ran faster. To be honest i am surprised i didnt throw up. Thats not bragging or anything thats just how out of shape i am. I stopped at the small park near my house with the tire swing and pathetic excuse for a play structure. But it has a nice grassy hill and the trees were comforting. I lay on my back and looked up at the branches and the sky and felt my heart slow and my breathing become less ragged. Usually i am afraid of that park at night. Its seems like the type of park where thugs hang out and smoke in after mugging poor old women or raping dogs or whatever thugs do. But no one was there and i felt like i was floating just above the hill i lay on. Its what i needed. And i should do it more often so i dont get desperate like that and freak people out.
Well its almost time to shove off on the road. Two more days. It seems to far away and too soon at the same time. I am happy though. Despite and because of everything i am happy. Maybe because i got my underwear shopping fix in or maybe because i just am. I hope i stay this way.
I am eating the stranges popsicle ever. Its blue and bubble gum flavored and at the bottom it has little balls of bubble gum that taste like soap. I am starting to feel sick.
I went running a couple nights ago. I got a feeling i havent gotten since i was a child. A feeling like I need to get away from everyone and i mean EVERYONE. I dont know why it came all of a sudden. When i was with Andrew. And suddenly it felt like everything was too close, i was being exposed and everyone could see the sides of me that i hate. So i ran. Without an explanation, i got my car keys and jammed out of that place. I had a huge sense of urgency as i laced up my running shoes and I knew that this was exactly what i needed to do. I havent ran like that in a long time. I ignored my screaming body even when I couldnt drown it out with music. And when it got more painful i ran faster. To be honest i am surprised i didnt throw up. Thats not bragging or anything thats just how out of shape i am. I stopped at the small park near my house with the tire swing and pathetic excuse for a play structure. But it has a nice grassy hill and the trees were comforting. I lay on my back and looked up at the branches and the sky and felt my heart slow and my breathing become less ragged. Usually i am afraid of that park at night. Its seems like the type of park where thugs hang out and smoke in after mugging poor old women or raping dogs or whatever thugs do. But no one was there and i felt like i was floating just above the hill i lay on. Its what i needed. And i should do it more often so i dont get desperate like that and freak people out.
Well its almost time to shove off on the road. Two more days. It seems to far away and too soon at the same time. I am happy though. Despite and because of everything i am happy. Maybe because i got my underwear shopping fix in or maybe because i just am. I hope i stay this way.
I am eating the stranges popsicle ever. Its blue and bubble gum flavored and at the bottom it has little balls of bubble gum that taste like soap. I am starting to feel sick.