(xpost adult comm) I can't believe people actually sit down and compose lists of questions like this
OOC: Crossposted from muse_erotica, today. Adult content below cut.
These have to be some of the most ridiculous questions I've ever answered.
Prompt 2009.14.1: Sex Survey
Do you like it rough or sensual?
Yes.
Do you prefer to be with the opposite sex or the same sex? or both?
I prefer to be with the partner I want at the moment. Whether or not they have a gender, and which one it is if they do, is utterly irrelevant to me.
How often do you like to have sex?
More often than I get to.
Is sex a top priority for you?
I wouldn't say it's a top priority, no. I mean, I've gone for centuries without if I had to. It's not as if I have hormones. But it's one of the more entertaining things to do in life, and as a being who is constantly in need of entertainment, I'd probably put it in the top twenty priorities, at least.
Do you have sex face to face with your partner?
Often, with mortals, when their physiology allows it.
With Q, always, since we don't have faces, or more precisely, we "see" out of every portion of our essence, so we have no back or front. No matter what direction we are turned in we are looking at each other.
How often do you get drunk and have wild, crazy sexy with a complete stranger?
It's dangerous to get drunk when you're omnipotent. Either you have to put aside your powers, which makes you vulnerable, or you run the risk of using your powers while in a state of impaired judgement, and I know folks who did that and when they got over the hangover they found that an entire species of sentient beings had mysteriously vanished. Or turned into wombats. Or something like wombats, anyway. So I generally speaking do not get drunk.
On the other hand, I have had sex with strangers fairly often. Of course, no mortal is truly a stranger to *me*, though I may be a stranger to them, since I'm virtually omniscient... and I know all of the Q. But I've done a few Powers I didn't know, who didn't know me, because we were bored and it was something to do. Douwds and Kalaydjian, mostly, they're very similar to and compatible with Q. I did an Organian once but I was *really really really* bored. And the event didn't improve the boredom much.
How do you feel about one night stands?
A great idea. I just wish it were possible to *have* one night stands with other Q. But you see the same faces around, millennium after millennium, and it doesn't matter what the sex was like, even if it was terrible; sooner or later you're going to get around to trying them again, just because.
How many one night stands have you had?
With mortals, or other non-Q? I could employ the resources of my vast intellect and nigh-omniscience in counting them all... but frankly the idea of cutting my toenails sounds more attractive, and I don't even *have* toenails.
What's your favorite position?
Whatever one I'm in at the moment, usually. Unless someone's got something over on me (or, Continuum forbid, I'm actually emotionally attached enough to do what *they* want me to do and not what I wanted to do myself) and can get me to do what they'd prefer, I am usually in charge of things and I do what I want.
Where's your favorite place to have sex?
Reality. Constructs are entertaining on occasion but they're so damn predictable.
Do you prefer to make love or fuck?
...the last person I made love to is either dead or would be better off if she was.
I think I'll take door number 2.
Have you ever watched porn while having sex?
If by "watch porn" you mean "watch mortals engaging in sordid but entertaining pleasure-exchanging activities" while having sex with a fellow Q, then yes. Often.
How long do you usually foreplay before doing the deed?
I'm kind of a wham-bam-thank-you-maam sort of Q. No longer than five years, tops. Okay, a decade, maybe, but only if I really want to torture my partner with anticipation.
Do you get off first or do they? Do you care?
With other Q the question wouldn't make sense; our pleasures generally peak at the same time. In fact, since we do it by merging minds and essences, it would be rather hard for one of us to climax before another. With mortals, it all depends on what I want to get out of it. If the point is to demonstrate to them that I am the most incredible lover they could possibly ever have, they get off first, usually multiple times, and in fact I might not even bother. If the point is to get what I want and get out, I'll go first and possibly only. If there's actually some affection involved, I probably won't care all that much who goes first.
Do you like kissing during sex?
Sure, why not?
Do you moan? If so, are you loud or quiet?
If I choose to. I generally prefer to stay in control enough that the degree to which I show a response is my choice. This is easy to do with mortals unless I'm entirely too emotionally involved; not as easy to do with other Q, but I do practice quite a bit.
Do you prefer your partner to be loud or quiet?
Completely out of control, screaming loudly enough that the entire Continuum can hear them, begging me for more.
Does size matter (for girls-- dicks/for guys-- boobs)?
Wait, I thought you people were humans. Your females have dicks?
...oh, I get it, you're asking women about male penis size and men about female breast size. Uh, can I ask why? I mean, what if I had been male and had answered the question above about preferred partner sex with "same sex", would I have anything useful to say about female breast size if in fact all I cared about was penises?
The answer to the question is no, I can't really be bothered caring about the corporeal shape of my lovers. Whatever about them gets me hot, it rarely has anything to do with the shape or size of any part of their anatomy.
How old were you when you lost your virginity?
With which species? Other Q? I think maybe... twenty-five hours? It's kind of hard to tell, it was five billion years ago and everything was so new, I didn't even really perceive a lot of difference between the states of being merged with another Q and being alone in my own essence. If you want to know about a different species, you'll have to specify.
How many sexual partners have you have in the last month?
I don't count time in months.
What does your favorite foreplay include?
With another Q, making them sufficiently maddened with pleasure that they open up to me completely or nearly so, shields down all the way.
I almost never do a full join, but I want my partners to know that I'm not taking them all the way because *I* don't want to, not because they weren't ready, willing and eager for it.
Do you ever play with yourself during the act?
This doesn't make sense when talking about Q sex. With mortals, yes if it will get them excited.
Do you prefer to sleep with randoms or one person?
"Randoms". That's an amusing typo. Yes, I prefer to sleep with randoms.
Have you ever done anal? If so, did you like it?
A mortal body has too few erogenous zones to pass any of them up. Yes, of course I have.
When and where was your wildest sex ever?
Definitions, please... most pleasurable? Most out of control? Most taboo?
What's your ultimate sexual fantasy?
Jean-Luc Picard becomes a Q at the end of his mortal existence and we have wild passionate sex any time we feel like it for the next several hundred thousand years. I generally get to fulfill my fantasies too easily to have an "ultimate" one.
Have you ever done porn?
Have I ever engaged in sex while knowing someone else was watching and recording events for future erotic purposes? Yes. Have I ever been hired to play-act in an absurdly stupid sex scenario for the future masturbatory consumption of total losers who can't get a real partner? No.
Have you ever have sex for money?
I have no use for money. But I have had sex for political favors. Does that count?
Have you ever bribed someone to sleep with you?
Yes. Sort of. I didn't bribe them to sleep with me exactly so much as they found my power the most attractive thing about me and entered into a relationship with me because I was willing to use my powers on their behalf. The one time I actually, flat out, quid pro quo, tried to bribe someone to have sex with me, it didn't work... largely because I wanted a baby and she wasn't ready for the awesome responsibility of being the mother of a god. The sex wasn't actually the important part there, and if she'd agreed to have the kid but refused the sex, I would have worked around that. (Since then I actually managed to get a couple of parallels or future iterations of her into bed, although none of them ever agreed to the kid thing.)
Is the sex still good when you're cheating?
I have a hard time imagining how one cheats at sex, but in general, any contest is better if you're cheating at least a little bit.
During sex... what are you thinking about?
One would hopefully think sex! If I'm thinking about whether that nebula is really sitting in the most attractive position in the galaxy that it could be, I gotta think the sex would be pretty awful.
Do you prefer the top or the bottom at first?
Physically? I don't care. Metaphorically? Top. I like to be in charge.
How many positions do you like to do during one episode?
As many as the situation seems to call for.
Do you ever worry about how your pleasing your partner?
No. Whether I'm with a mortal or a Q, I can read their mind. I *know* what pleases them.
Could you live without sex?
Since I'm immortal, I suppose the answer to this has to be "yes"... I mean, I can't die of a lack of sex, or really of almost anything aside from being shot by one of my own kind or exiled by the Continuum. But would I want to? No.
How often do you find sex boring?
Disastrously often. Rather like the rest of my existence.
How long does a typical sexual episode last for you?
Q sex has been known to last up to a century, but I'm easily bored... I've never lasted longer than two decades, tops. More typically, several days. Or, with a mortal, as long as they can stand it.
Do you like to perform oral sex?
On mortals? Yes, it's delightfully gratifying how well they usually respond to that.
Do you like to receive oral sex?
It makes a big difference whether we're talking about literal oral sex, with mortals or in mortal form, or the Q equivalent.
We can exchange energies directly with one another in a merge; it's the closest equivalent we have to oral sex, as one partner essentially consumes the life force of the other. This isn't particularly dangerous most of the time; two Q can't get too out of balance or the energy flow starts automatically reversing. The interesting thing is that we actually created ourselves in the first place to enjoy giving energy more than receiving; sucking energy from another Q is pleasant and, if you want to be blunt about it, quite tasty, but having energy drawn from you is... exquisite. So it's very analogous to oral sex with mortals, if mortals were capable of literally eating each other during sex and having it feel good and do no long-lasting harm. But I am not quite as fond of receiving that form of pleasure as I am of others, because it makes you physically weak -- literally, since you're giving the other one your own energy -- and that makes it harder to shield, or, to be honest, to remember why you want to. The impulse when you're exchanging energy is to try to merge more deeply with the other, which is dangerous for us... two Q who merge too deeply for too long run the risk of never being able to separate, and becoming an entirely new entity, which as far as I'm concerned means the original entities died. Most Q consider this a risk worth running, but most Q aren't quite as hung up on maintaining their individuality as I am.
With mortals, however, receiving oral sex isn't dangerous to me in any way, and is more directly pleasurable than giving it, so yes.
Have you ever taped yourself in the act?
Not literally, no, but the Continuum automatically records all the memories and experiences of every Q unless we specifically block it with a privacy shield, and even then usually the memories do eventually end up getting copied, so any other Q who wants to get a detailed play-by-play of any sexual act I was involved in can get it.
Have you ever had a 3-some? 4-some? 5-some?
I think the highest number I've had at the same time was 127 other Q. At that, my number isn't even all that high; the guy who organized that one once pulled off an orgy of 378 Q at the same time, but I was out of town for that one and no one sent me the invite.
I also once gave the entire humanoid population of the planet Riax an orgasm at the same time... I think the population was about five million then... of course it wasn't entirely reciprocal, since I didn't get anything out of it (sexually, I mean. I made my point and won the argument I was having, so in that sense I got everything I was trying to get out of it.) I suppose that's my highest number of simultaneous partners with mortals, if you can call them partners when all they do is just passively accept pleasure as part of a religious experience.
If you want to count the largest number of mortal partners I've ever had where it was a mutual experience, I think the time I took the place of the shievrin queen (see below) and had 2,786 mates might be the highest.
Have you ever had interracial sex?
I've performed some sort of pleasure-exchanging activity with members of 33 thousand different species, and I've been with Q where I or my partner (or partners) or all of us were in mortal forms for over 150 thousand different species. (The main difference is that I almost never actually have sex with nonsentient beings, but taking their *form* to do it with another Q can be very entertaining.)
Have you ever been caught in the act? If so, by whom?
There's something absurd about this question when applied to a species that has no sense of privacy in such matters... but if you absolutely must know about an incident that probably embarrassed me as much as it would have embarrassed the average human, one time my kid teleported in while I was having sex with a mortal that he had several years previously tried to adopt as a pet, and this ruined the mood so thoroughly that James T. Kirk, the biggest slut humanity has known since Casanova, refused to continue to have sex with me. And I'm only admitting to this because my irritating older brother already told the entire universe the story.
Have you ever had sex while at work?
My job involves studying mortals. Occasionally sex with them *is* part of the job. Also, I consider bribing other Q with sexual favors in exchange for a favorable vote on my pet projects to be work.
Have you ever had sex while at school?
I've never been to school. I came into existence with the totality of the Continuum's knowledge available to me... and while we weren't yet omniscient at the time, we were just a *tad* beyond your average college grad.
What is something that you would never consider doing?
Allowing myself to lose myself completely in another Q, or *actually* absorbing one (threatening it as a bluff to scare them off from letting a friend of mine with too little sense of self-preservation lose herself in them is something else entirely).
Have you ever had sex on drugs?
I have the same problem with mood-altering drugs that I have with getting drunk. But one time I did travel to a parallel dimension that was just like my own, except with some sort of mind-warping effect woven into the fabric of the universe that impaired *everyone's* judgement, including my own, and hooked up with parallels of my two favorite human beings at once. ...And then had the brilliant idea of making a hybrid child out of the three of us, though all I took from the female human was an egg and her mitochondrial DNA.
In other words, yes, and it was every bit as much of a terrible idea as I would have guessed if I'd thought things through ahead of time, but my female starship captain was dead here (she got better later), so I was kind of depressed and looking to be totally irresponsible for a while.
Would you ever have sex in public?
Again, no privacy in the Continuum. It's a lot more unusual for me to have sex in *private*.
What's your biggest turn on?
Being told to get off someone's ship.
Do you spit or swallow?
Why isn't dematerialize an option?
How many times have you gotten off in one night?
Oh, hey, I actually know the answer to this one! Some friends of mine and I had a bet going as to whether it would be better to be a member of a species that has extremely frequent orgasmic peaks but falls off between them, or to do it like we do it and have a sustained plateau of pleasure that lasts until you're bored with it. So I took the form of a queen shievrin, a creature much like a hive insect of Earth but sentient, on her mating flight, and since she was queen of the entire eastern territory of their dominant political entity, two thousand seven hundred and eighty-six drones had come to mate with her (actually it was more like eighteen thousand, but the tests weeded out all but the most genetically fit), and shievrin queens experience orgasm every time a different male deposits his genetic material in her receptacle. Okay, technically it wasn't one night, it actually lasted something more like ten Earth days (those shievrin queens have some endurance! I was exhausted when it was over, and I'm an omnipotent being with no need to eat or rest!), but that's the highest number of orgasms I've experienced in the course of a sexual encounter.
The answer, by the way, is it's *still* better to be a Q.
Would you let other people watch you have sex live?
This is getting repetitive. Other Q watch me all the damn time. I kind of draw the line at letting them shout encouragements or make catcalls from the sidelines; either join in or shut up. But yes, I let other people watch, since realistically I have no way of making them *not* watch and if I had some sort of privacy fetish it would just be a weakness they could exploit to mock or humiliate me.
Have you have ever sex in front of your best friend?
Yes.
Have you ever had sex with your best friend's b/f or g/f?
Q? Yes. Mortal friends? Occasionally, but right now my favorite mortals' favorite mortals are totally unappealing to me.
Do you ever have sex in the shower?
I don't take showers, but if a mortal object of my interest has a fantasy about doing it in the shower, I'm happy to oblige.
What's the weirdest place you've ever done it?
Oh, I have no idea what would be considered the *weirdest*. The heart of an atom? A negentropic dimension? Folded inside myself like a matryoshka doll? Inside a warp core?
What was the biggest age difference with a partner?
Five billion years supplies a pretty enormous age difference with *every* mortal partner.
Do you feel you are up to par in bed?
Of course.
Are you still gonna have sex when your 70?
70 what? If you mean 70 years, that was five billion years ago. If you mean 70 billion... I'm not sure the universe is going to last that long.
What was your most embarrassing sexual moments?
Aside from the incident with Kirk that I'm only willing to talk about because my brother already told the entire damn universe, I'm not in the habit of sharing my embarrassing moments of *any* kind with anyone.
How old is "too young" to have sex in your opinion?
I suspect I will think my son is too young for sex when he's ten million years old. As for anyone else, old enough to want it is old enough to have.
Do you like to be completely naked or clothed?
Yes.
Have you ever done it on a boat/yacht?
Boat, yacht, spaceship, submarine, bathysphere, core diver, sun diver, sailboat, rowboat, starsailer...
But not a TARDIS! Yet.
What's the most public place that you can think of that you've had sex at?
Technically, probably the Q Continuum, since we don't generally even attempt to maintain privacy from one another. There are numerous places I've been in public in front of mortals while having sex, but since mortals can't see me in my true form, in a certain sense I always have a degree of privacy from them even if I'm standing in front of them naked. I'm never *really* fully in public unless I'm in the Continuum.
Do you like having sex in cars? If so, driver seat, passenger, or back?
You know... I actually might never have had sex in a Terran automobile. I'll have to rectify that.
Do you wear protection as often as you should?
My powers are the only protection I need.
Has any of your one night stands resulted in a child that you know of?
...I don't talk about that incident anymore.
If your over 18, have you ever had sex with someone under 18?
I'm going to creatively reinterpret this question and pretend it asks if I've ever had sex with a minor, because over and under 18 is a ridiculous metric in a universe where my son is ten thousand years old and still an adolescent, while other sentient beings who live only 9 years are sexually mature within 1.
And the answer is yes, or at least we had considered her a minor, but since she had just crossed through an active firefight to bring me and mine weapons so we could fight back without being slaughtered like targets in a shooting gallery, and then stood by my side and killed more of our enemies than I did, I prefer to think she was an adult in all the ways that matter before I had sex with her.
I've never had sex with a mortal who was a minor by the standards of their own culture when I did it with them.
Do you prefer to sleep with someone older or younger than you?
Given that I like to have sex with mortals, who are by definition all younger than me, I'd say my preferences lean toward younger... but I have no objection to being with older Q as long as they don't bore me.
What's the perfect size? (for girls-- inches in dicks/for guys-- cup size)?
Didn't this question come up earlier?
Have you ever done bondage sex (chains,whips,etc.)? If not, would you?
...Yes.
I don't want to talk about it.
Have you ever slept with someone out of pity?
I haven't got that much pity in me.
Can you remember who gave you the best sex of your life?
I can't be bothered to do a full comparative analysis.
If you could sleep with ANYONE, who would it be?
So many choices! Just one?
I suppose the obvious answer, then. If there was only one person in particular who I haven't slept with (well, in a universe where he's sane) that I could talk into bed, Jean-Luc Picard would be my first choice.
Muse: Q
Fandom: Star Trek Next Generation and Voyager
These have to be some of the most ridiculous questions I've ever answered.
Prompt 2009.14.1: Sex Survey
Do you like it rough or sensual?
Yes.
Do you prefer to be with the opposite sex or the same sex? or both?
I prefer to be with the partner I want at the moment. Whether or not they have a gender, and which one it is if they do, is utterly irrelevant to me.
How often do you like to have sex?
More often than I get to.
Is sex a top priority for you?
I wouldn't say it's a top priority, no. I mean, I've gone for centuries without if I had to. It's not as if I have hormones. But it's one of the more entertaining things to do in life, and as a being who is constantly in need of entertainment, I'd probably put it in the top twenty priorities, at least.
Do you have sex face to face with your partner?
Often, with mortals, when their physiology allows it.
With Q, always, since we don't have faces, or more precisely, we "see" out of every portion of our essence, so we have no back or front. No matter what direction we are turned in we are looking at each other.
How often do you get drunk and have wild, crazy sexy with a complete stranger?
It's dangerous to get drunk when you're omnipotent. Either you have to put aside your powers, which makes you vulnerable, or you run the risk of using your powers while in a state of impaired judgement, and I know folks who did that and when they got over the hangover they found that an entire species of sentient beings had mysteriously vanished. Or turned into wombats. Or something like wombats, anyway. So I generally speaking do not get drunk.
On the other hand, I have had sex with strangers fairly often. Of course, no mortal is truly a stranger to *me*, though I may be a stranger to them, since I'm virtually omniscient... and I know all of the Q. But I've done a few Powers I didn't know, who didn't know me, because we were bored and it was something to do. Douwds and Kalaydjian, mostly, they're very similar to and compatible with Q. I did an Organian once but I was *really really really* bored. And the event didn't improve the boredom much.
How do you feel about one night stands?
A great idea. I just wish it were possible to *have* one night stands with other Q. But you see the same faces around, millennium after millennium, and it doesn't matter what the sex was like, even if it was terrible; sooner or later you're going to get around to trying them again, just because.
How many one night stands have you had?
With mortals, or other non-Q? I could employ the resources of my vast intellect and nigh-omniscience in counting them all... but frankly the idea of cutting my toenails sounds more attractive, and I don't even *have* toenails.
What's your favorite position?
Whatever one I'm in at the moment, usually. Unless someone's got something over on me (or, Continuum forbid, I'm actually emotionally attached enough to do what *they* want me to do and not what I wanted to do myself) and can get me to do what they'd prefer, I am usually in charge of things and I do what I want.
Where's your favorite place to have sex?
Reality. Constructs are entertaining on occasion but they're so damn predictable.
Do you prefer to make love or fuck?
...the last person I made love to is either dead or would be better off if she was.
I think I'll take door number 2.
Have you ever watched porn while having sex?
If by "watch porn" you mean "watch mortals engaging in sordid but entertaining pleasure-exchanging activities" while having sex with a fellow Q, then yes. Often.
How long do you usually foreplay before doing the deed?
I'm kind of a wham-bam-thank-you-maam sort of Q. No longer than five years, tops. Okay, a decade, maybe, but only if I really want to torture my partner with anticipation.
Do you get off first or do they? Do you care?
With other Q the question wouldn't make sense; our pleasures generally peak at the same time. In fact, since we do it by merging minds and essences, it would be rather hard for one of us to climax before another. With mortals, it all depends on what I want to get out of it. If the point is to demonstrate to them that I am the most incredible lover they could possibly ever have, they get off first, usually multiple times, and in fact I might not even bother. If the point is to get what I want and get out, I'll go first and possibly only. If there's actually some affection involved, I probably won't care all that much who goes first.
Do you like kissing during sex?
Sure, why not?
Do you moan? If so, are you loud or quiet?
If I choose to. I generally prefer to stay in control enough that the degree to which I show a response is my choice. This is easy to do with mortals unless I'm entirely too emotionally involved; not as easy to do with other Q, but I do practice quite a bit.
Do you prefer your partner to be loud or quiet?
Completely out of control, screaming loudly enough that the entire Continuum can hear them, begging me for more.
Does size matter (for girls-- dicks/for guys-- boobs)?
Wait, I thought you people were humans. Your females have dicks?
...oh, I get it, you're asking women about male penis size and men about female breast size. Uh, can I ask why? I mean, what if I had been male and had answered the question above about preferred partner sex with "same sex", would I have anything useful to say about female breast size if in fact all I cared about was penises?
The answer to the question is no, I can't really be bothered caring about the corporeal shape of my lovers. Whatever about them gets me hot, it rarely has anything to do with the shape or size of any part of their anatomy.
How old were you when you lost your virginity?
With which species? Other Q? I think maybe... twenty-five hours? It's kind of hard to tell, it was five billion years ago and everything was so new, I didn't even really perceive a lot of difference between the states of being merged with another Q and being alone in my own essence. If you want to know about a different species, you'll have to specify.
How many sexual partners have you have in the last month?
I don't count time in months.
What does your favorite foreplay include?
With another Q, making them sufficiently maddened with pleasure that they open up to me completely or nearly so, shields down all the way.
I almost never do a full join, but I want my partners to know that I'm not taking them all the way because *I* don't want to, not because they weren't ready, willing and eager for it.
Do you ever play with yourself during the act?
This doesn't make sense when talking about Q sex. With mortals, yes if it will get them excited.
Do you prefer to sleep with randoms or one person?
"Randoms". That's an amusing typo. Yes, I prefer to sleep with randoms.
Have you ever done anal? If so, did you like it?
A mortal body has too few erogenous zones to pass any of them up. Yes, of course I have.
When and where was your wildest sex ever?
Definitions, please... most pleasurable? Most out of control? Most taboo?
What's your ultimate sexual fantasy?
Jean-Luc Picard becomes a Q at the end of his mortal existence and we have wild passionate sex any time we feel like it for the next several hundred thousand years. I generally get to fulfill my fantasies too easily to have an "ultimate" one.
Have you ever done porn?
Have I ever engaged in sex while knowing someone else was watching and recording events for future erotic purposes? Yes. Have I ever been hired to play-act in an absurdly stupid sex scenario for the future masturbatory consumption of total losers who can't get a real partner? No.
Have you ever have sex for money?
I have no use for money. But I have had sex for political favors. Does that count?
Have you ever bribed someone to sleep with you?
Yes. Sort of. I didn't bribe them to sleep with me exactly so much as they found my power the most attractive thing about me and entered into a relationship with me because I was willing to use my powers on their behalf. The one time I actually, flat out, quid pro quo, tried to bribe someone to have sex with me, it didn't work... largely because I wanted a baby and she wasn't ready for the awesome responsibility of being the mother of a god. The sex wasn't actually the important part there, and if she'd agreed to have the kid but refused the sex, I would have worked around that. (Since then I actually managed to get a couple of parallels or future iterations of her into bed, although none of them ever agreed to the kid thing.)
Is the sex still good when you're cheating?
I have a hard time imagining how one cheats at sex, but in general, any contest is better if you're cheating at least a little bit.
During sex... what are you thinking about?
One would hopefully think sex! If I'm thinking about whether that nebula is really sitting in the most attractive position in the galaxy that it could be, I gotta think the sex would be pretty awful.
Do you prefer the top or the bottom at first?
Physically? I don't care. Metaphorically? Top. I like to be in charge.
How many positions do you like to do during one episode?
As many as the situation seems to call for.
Do you ever worry about how your pleasing your partner?
No. Whether I'm with a mortal or a Q, I can read their mind. I *know* what pleases them.
Could you live without sex?
Since I'm immortal, I suppose the answer to this has to be "yes"... I mean, I can't die of a lack of sex, or really of almost anything aside from being shot by one of my own kind or exiled by the Continuum. But would I want to? No.
How often do you find sex boring?
Disastrously often. Rather like the rest of my existence.
How long does a typical sexual episode last for you?
Q sex has been known to last up to a century, but I'm easily bored... I've never lasted longer than two decades, tops. More typically, several days. Or, with a mortal, as long as they can stand it.
Do you like to perform oral sex?
On mortals? Yes, it's delightfully gratifying how well they usually respond to that.
Do you like to receive oral sex?
It makes a big difference whether we're talking about literal oral sex, with mortals or in mortal form, or the Q equivalent.
We can exchange energies directly with one another in a merge; it's the closest equivalent we have to oral sex, as one partner essentially consumes the life force of the other. This isn't particularly dangerous most of the time; two Q can't get too out of balance or the energy flow starts automatically reversing. The interesting thing is that we actually created ourselves in the first place to enjoy giving energy more than receiving; sucking energy from another Q is pleasant and, if you want to be blunt about it, quite tasty, but having energy drawn from you is... exquisite. So it's very analogous to oral sex with mortals, if mortals were capable of literally eating each other during sex and having it feel good and do no long-lasting harm. But I am not quite as fond of receiving that form of pleasure as I am of others, because it makes you physically weak -- literally, since you're giving the other one your own energy -- and that makes it harder to shield, or, to be honest, to remember why you want to. The impulse when you're exchanging energy is to try to merge more deeply with the other, which is dangerous for us... two Q who merge too deeply for too long run the risk of never being able to separate, and becoming an entirely new entity, which as far as I'm concerned means the original entities died. Most Q consider this a risk worth running, but most Q aren't quite as hung up on maintaining their individuality as I am.
With mortals, however, receiving oral sex isn't dangerous to me in any way, and is more directly pleasurable than giving it, so yes.
Have you ever taped yourself in the act?
Not literally, no, but the Continuum automatically records all the memories and experiences of every Q unless we specifically block it with a privacy shield, and even then usually the memories do eventually end up getting copied, so any other Q who wants to get a detailed play-by-play of any sexual act I was involved in can get it.
Have you ever had a 3-some? 4-some? 5-some?
I think the highest number I've had at the same time was 127 other Q. At that, my number isn't even all that high; the guy who organized that one once pulled off an orgy of 378 Q at the same time, but I was out of town for that one and no one sent me the invite.
I also once gave the entire humanoid population of the planet Riax an orgasm at the same time... I think the population was about five million then... of course it wasn't entirely reciprocal, since I didn't get anything out of it (sexually, I mean. I made my point and won the argument I was having, so in that sense I got everything I was trying to get out of it.) I suppose that's my highest number of simultaneous partners with mortals, if you can call them partners when all they do is just passively accept pleasure as part of a religious experience.
If you want to count the largest number of mortal partners I've ever had where it was a mutual experience, I think the time I took the place of the shievrin queen (see below) and had 2,786 mates might be the highest.
Have you ever had interracial sex?
I've performed some sort of pleasure-exchanging activity with members of 33 thousand different species, and I've been with Q where I or my partner (or partners) or all of us were in mortal forms for over 150 thousand different species. (The main difference is that I almost never actually have sex with nonsentient beings, but taking their *form* to do it with another Q can be very entertaining.)
Have you ever been caught in the act? If so, by whom?
There's something absurd about this question when applied to a species that has no sense of privacy in such matters... but if you absolutely must know about an incident that probably embarrassed me as much as it would have embarrassed the average human, one time my kid teleported in while I was having sex with a mortal that he had several years previously tried to adopt as a pet, and this ruined the mood so thoroughly that James T. Kirk, the biggest slut humanity has known since Casanova, refused to continue to have sex with me. And I'm only admitting to this because my irritating older brother already told the entire universe the story.
Have you ever had sex while at work?
My job involves studying mortals. Occasionally sex with them *is* part of the job. Also, I consider bribing other Q with sexual favors in exchange for a favorable vote on my pet projects to be work.
Have you ever had sex while at school?
I've never been to school. I came into existence with the totality of the Continuum's knowledge available to me... and while we weren't yet omniscient at the time, we were just a *tad* beyond your average college grad.
What is something that you would never consider doing?
Allowing myself to lose myself completely in another Q, or *actually* absorbing one (threatening it as a bluff to scare them off from letting a friend of mine with too little sense of self-preservation lose herself in them is something else entirely).
Have you ever had sex on drugs?
I have the same problem with mood-altering drugs that I have with getting drunk. But one time I did travel to a parallel dimension that was just like my own, except with some sort of mind-warping effect woven into the fabric of the universe that impaired *everyone's* judgement, including my own, and hooked up with parallels of my two favorite human beings at once. ...And then had the brilliant idea of making a hybrid child out of the three of us, though all I took from the female human was an egg and her mitochondrial DNA.
In other words, yes, and it was every bit as much of a terrible idea as I would have guessed if I'd thought things through ahead of time, but my female starship captain was dead here (she got better later), so I was kind of depressed and looking to be totally irresponsible for a while.
Would you ever have sex in public?
Again, no privacy in the Continuum. It's a lot more unusual for me to have sex in *private*.
What's your biggest turn on?
Being told to get off someone's ship.
Do you spit or swallow?
Why isn't dematerialize an option?
How many times have you gotten off in one night?
Oh, hey, I actually know the answer to this one! Some friends of mine and I had a bet going as to whether it would be better to be a member of a species that has extremely frequent orgasmic peaks but falls off between them, or to do it like we do it and have a sustained plateau of pleasure that lasts until you're bored with it. So I took the form of a queen shievrin, a creature much like a hive insect of Earth but sentient, on her mating flight, and since she was queen of the entire eastern territory of their dominant political entity, two thousand seven hundred and eighty-six drones had come to mate with her (actually it was more like eighteen thousand, but the tests weeded out all but the most genetically fit), and shievrin queens experience orgasm every time a different male deposits his genetic material in her receptacle. Okay, technically it wasn't one night, it actually lasted something more like ten Earth days (those shievrin queens have some endurance! I was exhausted when it was over, and I'm an omnipotent being with no need to eat or rest!), but that's the highest number of orgasms I've experienced in the course of a sexual encounter.
The answer, by the way, is it's *still* better to be a Q.
Would you let other people watch you have sex live?
This is getting repetitive. Other Q watch me all the damn time. I kind of draw the line at letting them shout encouragements or make catcalls from the sidelines; either join in or shut up. But yes, I let other people watch, since realistically I have no way of making them *not* watch and if I had some sort of privacy fetish it would just be a weakness they could exploit to mock or humiliate me.
Have you have ever sex in front of your best friend?
Yes.
Have you ever had sex with your best friend's b/f or g/f?
Q? Yes. Mortal friends? Occasionally, but right now my favorite mortals' favorite mortals are totally unappealing to me.
Do you ever have sex in the shower?
I don't take showers, but if a mortal object of my interest has a fantasy about doing it in the shower, I'm happy to oblige.
What's the weirdest place you've ever done it?
Oh, I have no idea what would be considered the *weirdest*. The heart of an atom? A negentropic dimension? Folded inside myself like a matryoshka doll? Inside a warp core?
What was the biggest age difference with a partner?
Five billion years supplies a pretty enormous age difference with *every* mortal partner.
Do you feel you are up to par in bed?
Of course.
Are you still gonna have sex when your 70?
70 what? If you mean 70 years, that was five billion years ago. If you mean 70 billion... I'm not sure the universe is going to last that long.
What was your most embarrassing sexual moments?
Aside from the incident with Kirk that I'm only willing to talk about because my brother already told the entire damn universe, I'm not in the habit of sharing my embarrassing moments of *any* kind with anyone.
How old is "too young" to have sex in your opinion?
I suspect I will think my son is too young for sex when he's ten million years old. As for anyone else, old enough to want it is old enough to have.
Do you like to be completely naked or clothed?
Yes.
Have you ever done it on a boat/yacht?
Boat, yacht, spaceship, submarine, bathysphere, core diver, sun diver, sailboat, rowboat, starsailer...
But not a TARDIS! Yet.
What's the most public place that you can think of that you've had sex at?
Technically, probably the Q Continuum, since we don't generally even attempt to maintain privacy from one another. There are numerous places I've been in public in front of mortals while having sex, but since mortals can't see me in my true form, in a certain sense I always have a degree of privacy from them even if I'm standing in front of them naked. I'm never *really* fully in public unless I'm in the Continuum.
Do you like having sex in cars? If so, driver seat, passenger, or back?
You know... I actually might never have had sex in a Terran automobile. I'll have to rectify that.
Do you wear protection as often as you should?
My powers are the only protection I need.
Has any of your one night stands resulted in a child that you know of?
...I don't talk about that incident anymore.
If your over 18, have you ever had sex with someone under 18?
I'm going to creatively reinterpret this question and pretend it asks if I've ever had sex with a minor, because over and under 18 is a ridiculous metric in a universe where my son is ten thousand years old and still an adolescent, while other sentient beings who live only 9 years are sexually mature within 1.
And the answer is yes, or at least we had considered her a minor, but since she had just crossed through an active firefight to bring me and mine weapons so we could fight back without being slaughtered like targets in a shooting gallery, and then stood by my side and killed more of our enemies than I did, I prefer to think she was an adult in all the ways that matter before I had sex with her.
I've never had sex with a mortal who was a minor by the standards of their own culture when I did it with them.
Do you prefer to sleep with someone older or younger than you?
Given that I like to have sex with mortals, who are by definition all younger than me, I'd say my preferences lean toward younger... but I have no objection to being with older Q as long as they don't bore me.
What's the perfect size? (for girls-- inches in dicks/for guys-- cup size)?
Didn't this question come up earlier?
Have you ever done bondage sex (chains,whips,etc.)? If not, would you?
...Yes.
I don't want to talk about it.
Have you ever slept with someone out of pity?
I haven't got that much pity in me.
Can you remember who gave you the best sex of your life?
I can't be bothered to do a full comparative analysis.
If you could sleep with ANYONE, who would it be?
So many choices! Just one?
I suppose the obvious answer, then. If there was only one person in particular who I haven't slept with (well, in a universe where he's sane) that I could talk into bed, Jean-Luc Picard would be my first choice.
Muse: Q
Fandom: Star Trek Next Generation and Voyager