Guys, I wrote a thing...
Hey, I know it's been a while. But I'm looking for feedback. The other night when I was trying to get to sleep, I had two people start talking in my head, and I couldn't sleep until I wrote it all down. It's a scene from a play, but I don't know where in the play it goes (though probably the beginning) or what's going on or who these people are or anything.
Damien: Oh, Melanie, Melanie, Melanie.
(He assumes a “posing” stance)
Damien: Hear my soul speak, of the very instant that I saw you, did my heart fly to your service. She is the sun, the moon, the stars. She is-
(Melanie enters. Damien drops to one knee in front of her.)
Damien: Melanie, I think I love you!
(A long pause. Melanie looks at him.)
Melanie: But… You’re gay.
(Damien stands. The dramatic moment is gone.)
Damien: Yes, I know. That’s why it’s kind of a big deal.
Melanie: Well?
Damien: Well what?
Melanie: Look, I’m flattered. But I’m seeing someone.
Damien: Really? Who is he? Is it a he? Or is it a she? I bet it’s a she. That’s awkward, the first girl I ever as out after being gay for twenty years is a lesbian-
Melanie: Do I look like a lesbian?
Damien: Well…
Melanie: Well what?
Damien: Not really.
Melanie: But kind of?
Damien: Kind of the way you dress.
Melanie: What’s wrong with the way I dress?
Damien: I - did I say something was wrong with the way you dress?
Melanie: No, it’s just - look. Never mind. I have a boyfriend. He is a boy. I will not date you. Okay?
Damien: Okay.
(A long pause)
Damien: Is he gay?
Melanie: What? No, he is not gay! What are you-
Damien: Well, I used to be gay, you look like a lesbian, I figured he’s the odd one out.
Melanie: What-
Damien: Oh well. If you won’t go out with me, that’s fine. When your boyfriend comes out, send him my way, alright?
(Melanie looks at him, disgusted, and leaves.)
Damien: The course of true love never did run smooth.
(He exits after Melanie.)
Any feedback is awesome and cool.
Damien: Oh, Melanie, Melanie, Melanie.
(He assumes a “posing” stance)
Damien: Hear my soul speak, of the very instant that I saw you, did my heart fly to your service. She is the sun, the moon, the stars. She is-
(Melanie enters. Damien drops to one knee in front of her.)
Damien: Melanie, I think I love you!
(A long pause. Melanie looks at him.)
Melanie: But… You’re gay.
(Damien stands. The dramatic moment is gone.)
Damien: Yes, I know. That’s why it’s kind of a big deal.
Melanie: Well?
Damien: Well what?
Melanie: Look, I’m flattered. But I’m seeing someone.
Damien: Really? Who is he? Is it a he? Or is it a she? I bet it’s a she. That’s awkward, the first girl I ever as out after being gay for twenty years is a lesbian-
Melanie: Do I look like a lesbian?
Damien: Well…
Melanie: Well what?
Damien: Not really.
Melanie: But kind of?
Damien: Kind of the way you dress.
Melanie: What’s wrong with the way I dress?
Damien: I - did I say something was wrong with the way you dress?
Melanie: No, it’s just - look. Never mind. I have a boyfriend. He is a boy. I will not date you. Okay?
Damien: Okay.
(A long pause)
Damien: Is he gay?
Melanie: What? No, he is not gay! What are you-
Damien: Well, I used to be gay, you look like a lesbian, I figured he’s the odd one out.
Melanie: What-
Damien: Oh well. If you won’t go out with me, that’s fine. When your boyfriend comes out, send him my way, alright?
(Melanie looks at him, disgusted, and leaves.)
Damien: The course of true love never did run smooth.
(He exits after Melanie.)
Any feedback is awesome and cool.