another day another dreamer...
I realized just now there is something really wrong with me...I have everything anyone could want, and Im not happy...I don't know why, or whats going on...I just don't feel that happy. I realized today that last night was the first time i was hyper and happy in like...forever, maybe its the people i hang out with, but i don't think so. I know im good at faking it, and i know that not many people know me well enough to know when im hiding that im upset. Im just soo short with people. and i treat my friends like shit, i ignore people...i fuck people over, and im a bitch and thats not who i want to be and thats not what i want to become...I hate it..i have a good boyfriend, and friends that love me, no matter what i think they feel...i dunno...
the only thing that really gets me depressed is how much i feel like im losing my best friend, no matter what she says, and what like we do together, living so far away and having such different lives now that shes changed is hard...I just dont know how to deal with it..and it sucks...like...I don't really know how to cope with it...it seems like she has sooo many new girlfriends she doesnt need me, and that they are all just so much closer and easier anyways, my mom doesnt make it easier either...i know she says the same thing about me, but like...my friends, all guys, cant replace what i have with her...and i dunno it fuckin sucks...anyways, my parents are kicking me off, more later!
the only thing that really gets me depressed is how much i feel like im losing my best friend, no matter what she says, and what like we do together, living so far away and having such different lives now that shes changed is hard...I just dont know how to deal with it..and it sucks...like...I don't really know how to cope with it...it seems like she has sooo many new girlfriends she doesnt need me, and that they are all just so much closer and easier anyways, my mom doesnt make it easier either...i know she says the same thing about me, but like...my friends, all guys, cant replace what i have with her...and i dunno it fuckin sucks...anyways, my parents are kicking me off, more later!