Random thoughts
Confused...that's really the only word I can use to describe how I feel right now. I just don't know about anything anymore. Classes, school, other personal situations...what's even worth it? Why am I doing this? So I can wake up at 7 every day to go to work in a suit and tie for 8 hours and be miserable? I hope my major isn't anything like the business shit I've been exposed to so far.
With everything that's happened recently...I'm starting to question my own life and mortality. Why am I even here? Why are other people chosen to get into fatal car accidents, or get shot in the city, and not me? I feel miserable, yet when I try to find a reason why, I can't. I guess I don't have one, which bothers me even more. Maybe it's this depressing fucking music I listen to all the time.
Despite all this, my favorite season is approaching. Every time I step outside and inhale, I smile. I absolutely love the fall. There is just something in the air...I don't know what it is. It reminds me of standing outside the locker room before football games, just waiting to go get dressed, and just fucking around with my friends. Hopefully rugby will replace those memories for me, which, by the way, I was able to actually practice today with minimal contact (good sign). It reminds me of watching football on Sunday, playing in the back yard at half time, going for walks, going to the apple orchards with my parents. And best of all, it always reminds me of having someone to share it with. Last fall was rough, I was grieving...but not this fall (knock on wood). I can't wait for Thanksgiving. Oh yeah, it also reminds me of Halloween. Even though me and Sunny can't go out trick-or-treating, it's still a good time. Same air, same feelings. ...sigh...I'm at a loss of what else to talk about...
By the way, buy this CD in my current music...it's fucking amazing...the CD is called Chant, not that track, I didn't have room for the track name, but the one I'm listening to is called Christus Factus Est Pro Nobis...amazing...
With everything that's happened recently...I'm starting to question my own life and mortality. Why am I even here? Why are other people chosen to get into fatal car accidents, or get shot in the city, and not me? I feel miserable, yet when I try to find a reason why, I can't. I guess I don't have one, which bothers me even more. Maybe it's this depressing fucking music I listen to all the time.
Despite all this, my favorite season is approaching. Every time I step outside and inhale, I smile. I absolutely love the fall. There is just something in the air...I don't know what it is. It reminds me of standing outside the locker room before football games, just waiting to go get dressed, and just fucking around with my friends. Hopefully rugby will replace those memories for me, which, by the way, I was able to actually practice today with minimal contact (good sign). It reminds me of watching football on Sunday, playing in the back yard at half time, going for walks, going to the apple orchards with my parents. And best of all, it always reminds me of having someone to share it with. Last fall was rough, I was grieving...but not this fall (knock on wood). I can't wait for Thanksgiving. Oh yeah, it also reminds me of Halloween. Even though me and Sunny can't go out trick-or-treating, it's still a good time. Same air, same feelings. ...sigh...I'm at a loss of what else to talk about...
By the way, buy this CD in my current music...it's fucking amazing...the CD is called Chant, not that track, I didn't have room for the track name, but the one I'm listening to is called Christus Factus Est Pro Nobis...amazing...