Vacation is over...
Well, it came and it went...and it fucking sucked. This vacation really wasn't a good one at all. I was sick for most of it, I had to wake up at 7 pretty much every morning for fucking track, which is by far the gayest sport ever made, and really didn't do shit. I have two projects I had to do, a math take home test that I just remembered about, and I haven't done shit on my college applications. Christmas was allright...Christmas Eve kinda sucked ass, but on Christmas everyone seemed to get along, and we got a pretty nice snow storm too. I got some cool stuff, and gave some as well, and got to spend a lot of time with Danielle which pretty much is the highlight of my time off. After vacation is officially over though, I'm gonna have to get used to seeing her for 3 minutes every day while passing classes...fuck school. I really hope I get into Bentley, if I don't I realized I'm fucked. I have really no other options, but I'm pretty confident that I'll get in. We'll see...
So tomorrow is New Years Eve...I still don't know what the fuck is going on, what I'm doing, who I'm going to be with...and it sucks. The plans I thought I almost had kinda were blown up in my face a few hours ago...I donno...I'm really hoping something happens though and allows me to spend New Years with who I want to. If I don't then...I don't have any idea what to do. I was looking forward to spending the night with someone who actually cared about me...get a midnight kiss...but the current status of that is critical. I guess I have a fallback just in case, but I really don't feel like going there.
What else is going on...oh yes. I haven't been to work in forever, which is nice. When I have that much time off from work it helps me to realize how much I fucking hate it. The band...well...things are fucked up right now with that too. I don't even know if I'm in the band anymore, because things are just getting way out of hand. But whatever, I'm sick of hearing about it.
My brother just made me a MaiTai...it wasn't bad, I'd never had one before. Seeing as I might not be drinking tomorrow night, I figured I might as well take the one opportunity I might have tonight, even though it was one miniscule mixed drink. I don't even have the urge to drink tomorrow...I kinda feel like I need to be responsible for once, and help keep things in line and organized. We'll see. Knowing me that won't happen.
I don't know why, but I have this feeling of anxiousness building up inside of me. Like, I'm really worried about something, but I have no idea what it is. Does anyone have any ideas? I think it might be a combination of a few things...a few things that will stay to myself.
I bitch a lot. I know this. No need to bring it to my attention. You know what else? Sometimes I just fucking hate life. I guess everything comes in waves. Athletic talent is the thing that is mostly described as coming in waves. Like a high school football team for instance...they could be a powerhouse for a decade, and then suck balls for another 25 years. It's funny. Life is the same way. Stress comes in waves...I was just in a time of little stress...and I can already tell a tidal wave of it is about to fall on me as soon as school starts back up again. Why should someone have to do work over vacation to avoid being suicidal when it's over? Isn't vacation a time to relax? I don't get school sometimes at all.
I don't really think there's much more to talk about. Danielle is online now, I want to talk to her, and Phu is bombarding my room. Thanks Phu. Peece.
So tomorrow is New Years Eve...I still don't know what the fuck is going on, what I'm doing, who I'm going to be with...and it sucks. The plans I thought I almost had kinda were blown up in my face a few hours ago...I donno...I'm really hoping something happens though and allows me to spend New Years with who I want to. If I don't then...I don't have any idea what to do. I was looking forward to spending the night with someone who actually cared about me...get a midnight kiss...but the current status of that is critical. I guess I have a fallback just in case, but I really don't feel like going there.
What else is going on...oh yes. I haven't been to work in forever, which is nice. When I have that much time off from work it helps me to realize how much I fucking hate it. The band...well...things are fucked up right now with that too. I don't even know if I'm in the band anymore, because things are just getting way out of hand. But whatever, I'm sick of hearing about it.
My brother just made me a MaiTai...it wasn't bad, I'd never had one before. Seeing as I might not be drinking tomorrow night, I figured I might as well take the one opportunity I might have tonight, even though it was one miniscule mixed drink. I don't even have the urge to drink tomorrow...I kinda feel like I need to be responsible for once, and help keep things in line and organized. We'll see. Knowing me that won't happen.
I don't know why, but I have this feeling of anxiousness building up inside of me. Like, I'm really worried about something, but I have no idea what it is. Does anyone have any ideas? I think it might be a combination of a few things...a few things that will stay to myself.
I bitch a lot. I know this. No need to bring it to my attention. You know what else? Sometimes I just fucking hate life. I guess everything comes in waves. Athletic talent is the thing that is mostly described as coming in waves. Like a high school football team for instance...they could be a powerhouse for a decade, and then suck balls for another 25 years. It's funny. Life is the same way. Stress comes in waves...I was just in a time of little stress...and I can already tell a tidal wave of it is about to fall on me as soon as school starts back up again. Why should someone have to do work over vacation to avoid being suicidal when it's over? Isn't vacation a time to relax? I don't get school sometimes at all.
I don't really think there's much more to talk about. Danielle is online now, I want to talk to her, and Phu is bombarding my room. Thanks Phu. Peece.