(no subject)
Back to softball! I did ok tonight, even though we lost. I got two hits and 2 RBI's. That was fun. Went to school today, then came to jens house to spend the morning with her before she went to school. That was nice, just cuddling with her and whatnot. I dont know why we're still trying for eachother, i think we definitely have something special, but we fuck it up for eachother too much lol.
We're trying to smooth things out. seems to be doing alright. I started a new med 3 weeks ago called Effexor. Im not sure how much its helping yet, but my doctor is thinking about doubling the doseage. It has some side effects that ive noticed. One of which is excessive yawning, abnormal ejaculation and impotence. While the impotence isn't a huge deal, its only happened once or twice, the abnormal ejaculation means i go forever without finishing. Quite the time for girls, but i don't receive the "ultimate" pleasure aka orgasm. but i can go forever. its ok for now, the doctor said it may be temporary, and we will check up on that in my next visit. if its not, we'll probably look into a different med or an additional med to help with that. other than that... it seems to be helping slowly but surely. Its getting a little easier to wake up in the morning, and to get going. More motivation it seems. Just a little bit. however, the mood swings and random outbursts have not subsided.
jen witnessed one of my outbursts for the first time last night. I think i scared her. I am usually pretty good about hiding them, keeping them to myself and usually in my room. One hit me out of nowhere while i was sitting on my patio talking to her. It sucked. Mainly cuz she was there to see it. Shes really concerned, or at least she seemed like she was. She really goes out of her way for me these days. I love her to death, im trying to put our past behind us, and make the most out of the future. Im going to try to find ways to make her happier too.
Im sure ill find more to write about later.
We're trying to smooth things out. seems to be doing alright. I started a new med 3 weeks ago called Effexor. Im not sure how much its helping yet, but my doctor is thinking about doubling the doseage. It has some side effects that ive noticed. One of which is excessive yawning, abnormal ejaculation and impotence. While the impotence isn't a huge deal, its only happened once or twice, the abnormal ejaculation means i go forever without finishing. Quite the time for girls, but i don't receive the "ultimate" pleasure aka orgasm. but i can go forever. its ok for now, the doctor said it may be temporary, and we will check up on that in my next visit. if its not, we'll probably look into a different med or an additional med to help with that. other than that... it seems to be helping slowly but surely. Its getting a little easier to wake up in the morning, and to get going. More motivation it seems. Just a little bit. however, the mood swings and random outbursts have not subsided.
jen witnessed one of my outbursts for the first time last night. I think i scared her. I am usually pretty good about hiding them, keeping them to myself and usually in my room. One hit me out of nowhere while i was sitting on my patio talking to her. It sucked. Mainly cuz she was there to see it. Shes really concerned, or at least she seemed like she was. She really goes out of her way for me these days. I love her to death, im trying to put our past behind us, and make the most out of the future. Im going to try to find ways to make her happier too.
Im sure ill find more to write about later.