(no subject)
So, just two weeks before finals. I must say I am ready for them, though I still have a couple projects to do for Astronomy which I may NOT be able to do if it keeps being cloudy outside. Grrrr. I also have to take the essay portion of my PoliSci exam tomorrow or Thursday; I am nowhere NEAR ready for any of that. I'm kind of screwed, but I brought it on myself.
I don't think I have enough stress right now. Not that i want more, but I guess I'm just not motivating myself enough to get things done quickly. I think it's because most of my papers and stuff are all done. All that's left for the most part is the final exams.
I reserved my hotel in Lawrence, Kansas last night. It's the same EconoLodge I stayed at when I came out here. I swore I never would step foot...er, tire...in Kansas again, but I will be staying at Chris' on the night of the 27th in Colorado.
I found out something...interesting this afternoon. I shouldn't tell anyone this, but I feel like i have to vent it somehow. From a certain female friend with whom I had something before but do not now and WILL not in the future, I have found out that someone is stabbing me in the back. I was sworn to secrecy, and even silence, but I guess I'm not really technically telling anyone right now by doing this. I mean, I guess I could say that I don't even know if anyone reads this thing, and if anyone does, (s)he is in Georgia and has no contact whatsoever with any involved party here. She didn't tell me whom this backstabber is since I would apparently get mad almost to the point of physical violence. Ack! It would have to be really bad for that to happen. She says it is indeed really bad though, for she almost never gets angry at ALL and is absolutely furious at this person. Apparently this is a person in whom I have confided details about my personal life and whom I have taken counsel/advice from in the past. She said that she just wanted to warn me, to let me know that I should watch my back and not trust anyone. I don't know if I can fulfill with the latter request, for I know I have to trust some people. Life sucks if there is nobody at all you can trust. Anyway, she refused to tell me anything more, so I started digging into her for details. I have found that I can do that. Sometimes it must come off as annoying, but I really like to know the truth and hate being left in the dark. I have learned to probe into other people when there is something I want to know; I actually learned that from the person who let me know about this whole incident. I still don't know any details, except for the fact that this person is a male, someone who has been interested in having a romantic relationship with this friend of mine. I went through the list of people I know who are interested in her, and she insisted that none of them are culpable. I really don't know. she said that this person stabbed me in the back and could attack again just for personal gain. She doesn't trust this person at all anymore. I wish I knew whom she was talking about. She said that when I am driving back to Georgia, far away from the FLSR, that I will be told via phone. I really cannot wait until then. I'm just too impatient. I must know these things now. Why would someone attack me? Why would they backstab me? Apparently there is a high risk of this person backstabbing me again. It's killing me not knowing what's going on. I doubt it is one of my roommates; I trust them all, and I highly HIGHLY doubt they are interested in my friend. There are like two other people that I trust at the FLSR, and I didn't get a definitive answer, neither a yea or nay. I am just shocked that someone is betraying me just for interest in her. I keep repeating this, but I am just flabbergasted that someone is backstabbing me and will do it again. The fact that I have to second guess my judgment of people is disappointing. Maybe it is better that I find out in a couple weeks when I am gone, for I don't know how I could stand to be in such proximity to a traitor.
Wow, this has been an unusual post for me. My mind just keeps returning to the fact that a confidant is doing that to me. The thing is, I 100% believe the source of the information. I still trust her, though I am completely happy in my current relationship and don't want to change. I wish I could know who is betraying me...
Back to homework.
I don't think I have enough stress right now. Not that i want more, but I guess I'm just not motivating myself enough to get things done quickly. I think it's because most of my papers and stuff are all done. All that's left for the most part is the final exams.
I reserved my hotel in Lawrence, Kansas last night. It's the same EconoLodge I stayed at when I came out here. I swore I never would step foot...er, tire...in Kansas again, but I will be staying at Chris' on the night of the 27th in Colorado.
I found out something...interesting this afternoon. I shouldn't tell anyone this, but I feel like i have to vent it somehow. From a certain female friend with whom I had something before but do not now and WILL not in the future, I have found out that someone is stabbing me in the back. I was sworn to secrecy, and even silence, but I guess I'm not really technically telling anyone right now by doing this. I mean, I guess I could say that I don't even know if anyone reads this thing, and if anyone does, (s)he is in Georgia and has no contact whatsoever with any involved party here. She didn't tell me whom this backstabber is since I would apparently get mad almost to the point of physical violence. Ack! It would have to be really bad for that to happen. She says it is indeed really bad though, for she almost never gets angry at ALL and is absolutely furious at this person. Apparently this is a person in whom I have confided details about my personal life and whom I have taken counsel/advice from in the past. She said that she just wanted to warn me, to let me know that I should watch my back and not trust anyone. I don't know if I can fulfill with the latter request, for I know I have to trust some people. Life sucks if there is nobody at all you can trust. Anyway, she refused to tell me anything more, so I started digging into her for details. I have found that I can do that. Sometimes it must come off as annoying, but I really like to know the truth and hate being left in the dark. I have learned to probe into other people when there is something I want to know; I actually learned that from the person who let me know about this whole incident. I still don't know any details, except for the fact that this person is a male, someone who has been interested in having a romantic relationship with this friend of mine. I went through the list of people I know who are interested in her, and she insisted that none of them are culpable. I really don't know. she said that this person stabbed me in the back and could attack again just for personal gain. She doesn't trust this person at all anymore. I wish I knew whom she was talking about. She said that when I am driving back to Georgia, far away from the FLSR, that I will be told via phone. I really cannot wait until then. I'm just too impatient. I must know these things now. Why would someone attack me? Why would they backstab me? Apparently there is a high risk of this person backstabbing me again. It's killing me not knowing what's going on. I doubt it is one of my roommates; I trust them all, and I highly HIGHLY doubt they are interested in my friend. There are like two other people that I trust at the FLSR, and I didn't get a definitive answer, neither a yea or nay. I am just shocked that someone is betraying me just for interest in her. I keep repeating this, but I am just flabbergasted that someone is backstabbing me and will do it again. The fact that I have to second guess my judgment of people is disappointing. Maybe it is better that I find out in a couple weeks when I am gone, for I don't know how I could stand to be in such proximity to a traitor.
Wow, this has been an unusual post for me. My mind just keeps returning to the fact that a confidant is doing that to me. The thing is, I 100% believe the source of the information. I still trust her, though I am completely happy in my current relationship and don't want to change. I wish I could know who is betraying me...
Back to homework.