Holy crap, this is a LOT longer than I originally expected
I've got to get a job. I realized that when I was almost 100% done with ALL my homework by 9:15 tonight. The beginning of this semester is a whole lot easier than the beginning of the last, but I know this isnt going to last. Nevertheless, I don't have any morning classes, so I have all this time to sleep and do homework. I can't lie; I don't really hate it. That's weird. If I were in a situation like this last semester at this time, I would have died. It's weird; I applied to work at the Missionary Training Center to teach new missionaries Spanish and hwo to be a missionary in general. It pays great and you can choose if you want to work morning, afternoon, or night. I dont plan on any more 40 hour work weeks this semester coupled with 17 credits. I'm taking it easy and only taking 16.5. My classes seem easier; I'm doing more general stuff than specific courses just for my major, like last semester. Anyway, with the MTC, I've meditated a lot over the issue, and something tells me to wait before getting another job. I could be wrong and it could be laziness under the guise of intuition, but I just feel like it's the right thing for the moment. Of course, sometimes you are placed in a situation, waiting for one specific thing/person/opportunity/event, and you find that being in that position facilitates the advent of something better for you. I dont know if that makes sense, but I am saying that maybe the reason I feel I should hold out on work right now is that something else is going to present itself soon. Some may call me illogical. The MTC doesnt often let yuou know when you are going to work, if you're going to work ther at all. They wait until there is an opening, and then, if you are qualified enough (according to them), they call you. For some people, its a matter of weeks. For others, months, and for others, even a year. So, most would say not to wait on an MTC call before getting another job. That's where I differ. I feel that there is some reeason I am waiting on the MTC call. There is a possibility of me getting an RA job here at the Foreign Language Student Residence, since they are in need of one. I had never thought of that til my roommate brought it up yesterday. I talked with Sam, a friend of mine and also the head RA, and he encouraged me to go for it. I dont know. I havent decided to go down that path yet, but I soon may. It may be the reason I am waiting. I know that these jobs arent the most flashy occupations or the hardest physically, but for me they could be just right. So, I'm waiting at the moment.
Puritanical though it may seem, I feel that there is a higher power working with us every single day of our lives. Most of the time we can't recognize it. I usually don't acknowledge it enough, though I realize that it happens. I don't mean taht there are HUGE THINGS that with competley change our lives forever, but we are led from one situation to another for some reason we dont know completely. Sad thing is I am starting to wax philosophical or someting and I am not totally....'capaz' as they say in Spanish, at the moment. You can probably tell from my typing errors. It is 12:30 and Im waking up in 2.5 hours to go with Camila and her mom to the airport, since her mom leaves at an ungodly hour of the morning. By th way, I took a picture with them last night, and it's on facebook in my most recent photo album, if anyone cares to see these people I talk about all the time.
Anyway, I feel that I should stay put for the moment and not go with any of my previous jobs. I actually called my boss at Chrysalis yesterday and left a message saying I'm not coming back. As I said, I am not sure exactly why I feel this way. It could be laziness, it could be the MTC about to call me, it could be this RA job, it could be some other job, or it could just be to teach me a lesson (WHICH lesson I have no IDEA, but we hardly ever do before the lesson is actually 'taught' to us). I discovered that the hard way last semester. Sometimes we are just put in situations just to learn something, not always to get some sort of palpable, tangible reward. It may seem like it sucks when (bad) stuff happens to us; it almost always does, honestly, but there is purpose in everything. I put very little stock in the idea of coincidences. Yes, I acknowledge there are little coincidences which aren't of great import, but in general I don't think there are many coincidences. There are just so many instances from my life in which sometihgin seemed like a coincidence when it really turned out NOT to be that I cant even write them right now. I believe wholeheartedly that our trials and difficulties are for our good in the end, and they will be more experiences from which we can build. The more we experience, the more we are able to cope with future problems in life, and the more we can sympathize and have charity for those who are struggling through like circumstances. For instance, my parents lost a child when they were pretty young. I think most of you know, but in case you didnt, I have another brother who is deceased. He died only after a few weeks of life and after several painful brain surgeries. Nevertheless, my parents are some of the happiest people I know. I hear my mom talk about her experience with my brother who died and sometimes you can't hold back the tears, but she will tell you that she is stronger from that experience. Countless times she has been able to aid another in the loss of a child or other loved one. She doesn't worry about her son who died; he didnt do anything wrong, and there can't be any kind of punishment or damnation for a perfect, innocent being. In fact, he didnt have to deal with the crap that this world often slaps on our dishes, so why mourn? Still, you wonder, "Why would something that sad happen to someone like that? He was so new to this world, so young and uncorrupted, and his parents...why do they have to pass throgh this? What did they do?" Well, it's not always that we "DESERVE" waht happens to us. I think that we, in the end, DO absolutely get what we deserve, yet for now we often get what could be termed, "the shaft," whilst the crappiest people in this world seem to get everything, all the money, (wo)men, luxuries, careers, etc etc. It doesn't last though, at least not according to what I know, and believe me I know it. What goes around comes around, though usually not immediately. The greatest people I know have had to suffer some of the worst things the human mind can conceive (some of you know I am talking about you). Nothing seems fair or just. What kind of "Supreme Being/God/Etc" would let this happen? Why did this have to happen to ME/my loved ones? I can't see any reason I would have to endure this. Why does nobody else really care? Who really understands me? What's the point of this life if all these things happen? What is there to truly live for? Well, I dont have a specific answer for any of that stuff, of course. From my own life, though, of which I am the greatest testator, I know that when things happen, it is for a reason, and we actaully dont endure more than we can withstand. I know that sounds preposterous, but I feel that it is the truth. The Being which engineered the construction of this world, who holds it in orbit, who created everything on this planet and all the others, is actaully involved very deeply in our daily lives. He is not openly evident in every single little thing. He doesn't just pop up to any ol' Joe Schmoe and say, "LOOK! HERE I AM! SURPRISED? What do you want me to give you today?" Thatd be way too easy. Nevertheless, this Being is present, just as real as me or you. We have to do the best we can when confronted with the trials of life; we aren't truly alone, though everyone else in this world may forsake us or not understand us.
I know not many people who read this are religious. That's okay, to each his own. I wish to condemn nobody. I truly don't blame anyone for thinking the way they think. That is a right given to each of us, and I support that. Anyone who is persecuted in any way, shape, or form for their honest, sincere, heart-felt belief should be protected; I exclude none in that category. I am just offering what I feel about life, how there is a greater prrpose in everythign, though we hardly ever see it until it's all over. We can and will look back and say, "well, that really wasn't THAT hard. The reward was greater than anything ever imaginable at that time." I guess it's kind of hard to explain what I feel and what I have experienced, since my experiences have been personally tailored to help ME. Each passes through his own, and no other mortal person can ever relate 100%, though we can help each other out when another person passes through something similar to what we have endured. This is where religion comes in for me, that lack, that void that man cannot fill is filled by Deity for me. It's the whole faith principle, faith and hope for soemting better one day. Without faith, hope, charity, or love, we really can't do that much. We each learn in our own ways, and everyboduy finds the answers at different times.
If it weren't for that belief, that hope, I wouldn't be where I am now. Despite my difficulties and my natural pessimism, I consider myself a happy person if I really think about it hard enough. I can't really tell anyone what to do to find true happiness. I can, however, offer what little I know (convoluted it may sound right now). I accredit my happiness to what I have come to know as truth. If anyone is actually curious as to what I believe at a deeper level, feel free to go ahead and ask me about it. I'll willingly share everything I have learned and what I know. I don't say you have to accept it. One gret thing of being a misionary was that I could offer these things to people and then let THEM make the decision for themseleves if they wanted to continue or not. that's the beauty of it. I dont want ANY type of belief or faith shoved down another person's throat; that's not the way it should be. I just offer it as something that maybe will help another to endure life with a steadier foot and a clear view of what everything's really about.
Okay, I really have to go to bed. It's 1 now and Im leaving for Salt Lake in two hours.
Puritanical though it may seem, I feel that there is a higher power working with us every single day of our lives. Most of the time we can't recognize it. I usually don't acknowledge it enough, though I realize that it happens. I don't mean taht there are HUGE THINGS that with competley change our lives forever, but we are led from one situation to another for some reason we dont know completely. Sad thing is I am starting to wax philosophical or someting and I am not totally....'capaz' as they say in Spanish, at the moment. You can probably tell from my typing errors. It is 12:30 and Im waking up in 2.5 hours to go with Camila and her mom to the airport, since her mom leaves at an ungodly hour of the morning. By th way, I took a picture with them last night, and it's on facebook in my most recent photo album, if anyone cares to see these people I talk about all the time.
Anyway, I feel that I should stay put for the moment and not go with any of my previous jobs. I actually called my boss at Chrysalis yesterday and left a message saying I'm not coming back. As I said, I am not sure exactly why I feel this way. It could be laziness, it could be the MTC about to call me, it could be this RA job, it could be some other job, or it could just be to teach me a lesson (WHICH lesson I have no IDEA, but we hardly ever do before the lesson is actually 'taught' to us). I discovered that the hard way last semester. Sometimes we are just put in situations just to learn something, not always to get some sort of palpable, tangible reward. It may seem like it sucks when (bad) stuff happens to us; it almost always does, honestly, but there is purpose in everything. I put very little stock in the idea of coincidences. Yes, I acknowledge there are little coincidences which aren't of great import, but in general I don't think there are many coincidences. There are just so many instances from my life in which sometihgin seemed like a coincidence when it really turned out NOT to be that I cant even write them right now. I believe wholeheartedly that our trials and difficulties are for our good in the end, and they will be more experiences from which we can build. The more we experience, the more we are able to cope with future problems in life, and the more we can sympathize and have charity for those who are struggling through like circumstances. For instance, my parents lost a child when they were pretty young. I think most of you know, but in case you didnt, I have another brother who is deceased. He died only after a few weeks of life and after several painful brain surgeries. Nevertheless, my parents are some of the happiest people I know. I hear my mom talk about her experience with my brother who died and sometimes you can't hold back the tears, but she will tell you that she is stronger from that experience. Countless times she has been able to aid another in the loss of a child or other loved one. She doesn't worry about her son who died; he didnt do anything wrong, and there can't be any kind of punishment or damnation for a perfect, innocent being. In fact, he didnt have to deal with the crap that this world often slaps on our dishes, so why mourn? Still, you wonder, "Why would something that sad happen to someone like that? He was so new to this world, so young and uncorrupted, and his parents...why do they have to pass throgh this? What did they do?" Well, it's not always that we "DESERVE" waht happens to us. I think that we, in the end, DO absolutely get what we deserve, yet for now we often get what could be termed, "the shaft," whilst the crappiest people in this world seem to get everything, all the money, (wo)men, luxuries, careers, etc etc. It doesn't last though, at least not according to what I know, and believe me I know it. What goes around comes around, though usually not immediately. The greatest people I know have had to suffer some of the worst things the human mind can conceive (some of you know I am talking about you). Nothing seems fair or just. What kind of "Supreme Being/God/Etc" would let this happen? Why did this have to happen to ME/my loved ones? I can't see any reason I would have to endure this. Why does nobody else really care? Who really understands me? What's the point of this life if all these things happen? What is there to truly live for? Well, I dont have a specific answer for any of that stuff, of course. From my own life, though, of which I am the greatest testator, I know that when things happen, it is for a reason, and we actaully dont endure more than we can withstand. I know that sounds preposterous, but I feel that it is the truth. The Being which engineered the construction of this world, who holds it in orbit, who created everything on this planet and all the others, is actaully involved very deeply in our daily lives. He is not openly evident in every single little thing. He doesn't just pop up to any ol' Joe Schmoe and say, "LOOK! HERE I AM! SURPRISED? What do you want me to give you today?" Thatd be way too easy. Nevertheless, this Being is present, just as real as me or you. We have to do the best we can when confronted with the trials of life; we aren't truly alone, though everyone else in this world may forsake us or not understand us.
I know not many people who read this are religious. That's okay, to each his own. I wish to condemn nobody. I truly don't blame anyone for thinking the way they think. That is a right given to each of us, and I support that. Anyone who is persecuted in any way, shape, or form for their honest, sincere, heart-felt belief should be protected; I exclude none in that category. I am just offering what I feel about life, how there is a greater prrpose in everythign, though we hardly ever see it until it's all over. We can and will look back and say, "well, that really wasn't THAT hard. The reward was greater than anything ever imaginable at that time." I guess it's kind of hard to explain what I feel and what I have experienced, since my experiences have been personally tailored to help ME. Each passes through his own, and no other mortal person can ever relate 100%, though we can help each other out when another person passes through something similar to what we have endured. This is where religion comes in for me, that lack, that void that man cannot fill is filled by Deity for me. It's the whole faith principle, faith and hope for soemting better one day. Without faith, hope, charity, or love, we really can't do that much. We each learn in our own ways, and everyboduy finds the answers at different times.
If it weren't for that belief, that hope, I wouldn't be where I am now. Despite my difficulties and my natural pessimism, I consider myself a happy person if I really think about it hard enough. I can't really tell anyone what to do to find true happiness. I can, however, offer what little I know (convoluted it may sound right now). I accredit my happiness to what I have come to know as truth. If anyone is actually curious as to what I believe at a deeper level, feel free to go ahead and ask me about it. I'll willingly share everything I have learned and what I know. I don't say you have to accept it. One gret thing of being a misionary was that I could offer these things to people and then let THEM make the decision for themseleves if they wanted to continue or not. that's the beauty of it. I dont want ANY type of belief or faith shoved down another person's throat; that's not the way it should be. I just offer it as something that maybe will help another to endure life with a steadier foot and a clear view of what everything's really about.
Okay, I really have to go to bed. It's 1 now and Im leaving for Salt Lake in two hours.