(no subject)
Man I hate being sick, especially when you find it necessary to expectorate in the middle of class- what can you do? Te lo puedes tragar, pero...qué asco. I am trying to survive on Dayquil right now.
Things are going alright, I suppose. I feel a bit more positive right now than I have for the past couple days, especially last night. I have decided that I am dangerously close to being burned out. It just dawned on me the day before yesterday. Everyone has been warning me. I thought I had control of things in my life. I thought that I could continually push myself to the limit and then some, thinking I could maintain both of my jobs and 17 credits and study til 3 in the morning while pushing myself in other aspects of my life as well. I thought I could do it; I have kind of had fun doing it, seeing how far I can go. Somebody told me that that was practically masochistic. Hehe, I thought that was pretty funny. I know that there must be some people that can handle what I am putting myself through, but apparently I passed my limits. I am sick on top of all of it, and my health isn't getting better from my routine. It is just wearing me down hour by hour. I thought that my grades would still be alright. A few weeks ago I got a good grade on my political science exam, and I took my history exam last Friday and did well on it (or so I think). I thought I could pull off the same thing on my MESA exam yesterday. I was wrong. Horribly horribly wrong- I got a 62 on it. Never in my life had I gotten a grade so low on an exam. I was just crushed, but at the same time, I wasn't too surprised. I proved myself wrong; I can't handle all of this right now. I think it's a matter of pride. I don't want to accept more money from my parents, so I work myself to death to get my own. I think I don't need sleep that much, so I get as little of it as I can. I tell you one thing, my epilepsy doesn't like a lack of sleep, so that also figures into the whole equation. If anyone needs sleep, it's me. If I keep going without much sleep, my brain will start tripping out and it'll be very very unhealthy. It kind of started happening during the summer when I didn't get any sleep because I was always with my girlfriend, but I didn't have the stresses I do now. Stress is also someting that aggravates my epilepsy.
I am definitely leaving my landscaping job this month. That's sad, because I like landscaping so much, and it's great exercise, but it is just something I have to sacrifice for my well-being.
I wish Ana were here at BYU. Man, that would be nice.
Okay, I have to stop complaining so much. It's just that this has been the story of my life for the last while. I will try to have more positive entries now.
Things are going alright, I suppose. I feel a bit more positive right now than I have for the past couple days, especially last night. I have decided that I am dangerously close to being burned out. It just dawned on me the day before yesterday. Everyone has been warning me. I thought I had control of things in my life. I thought that I could continually push myself to the limit and then some, thinking I could maintain both of my jobs and 17 credits and study til 3 in the morning while pushing myself in other aspects of my life as well. I thought I could do it; I have kind of had fun doing it, seeing how far I can go. Somebody told me that that was practically masochistic. Hehe, I thought that was pretty funny. I know that there must be some people that can handle what I am putting myself through, but apparently I passed my limits. I am sick on top of all of it, and my health isn't getting better from my routine. It is just wearing me down hour by hour. I thought that my grades would still be alright. A few weeks ago I got a good grade on my political science exam, and I took my history exam last Friday and did well on it (or so I think). I thought I could pull off the same thing on my MESA exam yesterday. I was wrong. Horribly horribly wrong- I got a 62 on it. Never in my life had I gotten a grade so low on an exam. I was just crushed, but at the same time, I wasn't too surprised. I proved myself wrong; I can't handle all of this right now. I think it's a matter of pride. I don't want to accept more money from my parents, so I work myself to death to get my own. I think I don't need sleep that much, so I get as little of it as I can. I tell you one thing, my epilepsy doesn't like a lack of sleep, so that also figures into the whole equation. If anyone needs sleep, it's me. If I keep going without much sleep, my brain will start tripping out and it'll be very very unhealthy. It kind of started happening during the summer when I didn't get any sleep because I was always with my girlfriend, but I didn't have the stresses I do now. Stress is also someting that aggravates my epilepsy.
I am definitely leaving my landscaping job this month. That's sad, because I like landscaping so much, and it's great exercise, but it is just something I have to sacrifice for my well-being.
I wish Ana were here at BYU. Man, that would be nice.
Okay, I have to stop complaining so much. It's just that this has been the story of my life for the last while. I will try to have more positive entries now.