(no subject)
Got this from my dad from a forwarded e-mail he got...you know how these things go...
Lines to make you smile
1. .My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God.
2... I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
3... I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me!
4... Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
5... I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
6... Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
7... You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
8... Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
9... Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
10.. I'm not a complete idiot --Some parts are missing.
11.. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
12.. Nyquil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
13.. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
14.. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
15.. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
16.. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
17.. Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it!
18.. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew.
19.. Procrastinate Now!
20.. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts;?Do You Want Fries With That?
21.. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
22.. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance
23.. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
24.. They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
25.. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead.
26.. The original point and click interface was a Smith and Wesson.
27.. I smile because I don't know what is going on.
28..If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.
29..If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.
Lines to make you smile
1. .My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God.
2... I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
3... I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me!
4... Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
5... I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
6... Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
7... You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
8... Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
9... Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
10.. I'm not a complete idiot --Some parts are missing.
11.. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
12.. Nyquil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
13.. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
14.. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
15.. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
16.. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
17.. Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it!
18.. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew.
19.. Procrastinate Now!
20.. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts;?Do You Want Fries With That?
21.. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
22.. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance
23.. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
24.. They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
25.. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead.
26.. The original point and click interface was a Smith and Wesson.
27.. I smile because I don't know what is going on.
28..If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.
29..If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.