(no subject)
I wish I wish I wish I had something worthwhile to discuss.
But my life is as about as interesting as a pocket lint right now.
I'm not getting into the whole story because it's embarrassing as it is, but let me just say this: internet dating is definitely meant for some people. Not meant for me.
I've met with three guys so far. Three. Each of them as potentially wonderful as the next. Emphasis on the potential. The first guy turned out to be a total JERK and never called after our third date. He even tried to use the whole, "I've been really busy," excuse. What could possibly keep you so busy every second of the morning, evening, and night that you can't send me a text or call me for a quick minute?
And the second guy was waaaaaaaaaaaay too intense. He wanted to know everything about my last relationship and my ex and wanted me to know all those things about him. Woah, slow down there buddy. Turn the heat down a bit and go get yourself some water. You just might faint.
Then the third guy is 27 and it turns out that he still lives with mom. I'd understand that if he were struggling to make a career for himself, but he has a 9-5, full time, with health benefits, cubicle kind of job. What's his excuse? He's not even saving to get his own place. I don't understand it. I see a lot of one of my exes in him, and I haven't liked it so much so far.
Oh, and speaking of exes, guess who I get matched up with! Just guess! Old You-Know-Who who started this whole mess in the first place. I didn't know whether to cry or laugh, so I kind of did both. This whole experience has made no sense to me. The professionals think that we'd be a good match; I thought that we'd be a good match. Basically everyone but him thought it. And then I did something that I definitely should not have done. I asked him about it. At first we joked about it, and it was funny. But then I asked if, since the website thought we'd make a good match, that if he would ever say yes to him and me. And he said no.
I shouldn't have asked. It was a stupid question. A stupid question that I couldn't help but ask because some part of my brain is infected with the dumb idea that we would be, in his words during the relationship, "great together." And it's like I can't clean the infection out. It's been how long and how many guys later and I'm still hung up on him? I still torture myself with the idea that we might get back together?
I keep telling myself this in the same way that I tell myself that I need to do something that i don't want to do, like cleaning out my car or spending most of my day at the gym: I need to find a new job elsewhere. I can't be around him and move on. Being around him is toxic. When he's being a dick, I want to quit. When he's being nice and normal, I dream about things being the way that they were.
Damnit. damnit damnit damnit damnit damnit. fuck.
I like my restaurant. I don't really like me. I'm the one that's the problem in this scenario.
But my life is as about as interesting as a pocket lint right now.
I'm not getting into the whole story because it's embarrassing as it is, but let me just say this: internet dating is definitely meant for some people. Not meant for me.
I've met with three guys so far. Three. Each of them as potentially wonderful as the next. Emphasis on the potential. The first guy turned out to be a total JERK and never called after our third date. He even tried to use the whole, "I've been really busy," excuse. What could possibly keep you so busy every second of the morning, evening, and night that you can't send me a text or call me for a quick minute?
And the second guy was waaaaaaaaaaaay too intense. He wanted to know everything about my last relationship and my ex and wanted me to know all those things about him. Woah, slow down there buddy. Turn the heat down a bit and go get yourself some water. You just might faint.
Then the third guy is 27 and it turns out that he still lives with mom. I'd understand that if he were struggling to make a career for himself, but he has a 9-5, full time, with health benefits, cubicle kind of job. What's his excuse? He's not even saving to get his own place. I don't understand it. I see a lot of one of my exes in him, and I haven't liked it so much so far.
Oh, and speaking of exes, guess who I get matched up with! Just guess! Old You-Know-Who who started this whole mess in the first place. I didn't know whether to cry or laugh, so I kind of did both. This whole experience has made no sense to me. The professionals think that we'd be a good match; I thought that we'd be a good match. Basically everyone but him thought it. And then I did something that I definitely should not have done. I asked him about it. At first we joked about it, and it was funny. But then I asked if, since the website thought we'd make a good match, that if he would ever say yes to him and me. And he said no.
I shouldn't have asked. It was a stupid question. A stupid question that I couldn't help but ask because some part of my brain is infected with the dumb idea that we would be, in his words during the relationship, "great together." And it's like I can't clean the infection out. It's been how long and how many guys later and I'm still hung up on him? I still torture myself with the idea that we might get back together?
I keep telling myself this in the same way that I tell myself that I need to do something that i don't want to do, like cleaning out my car or spending most of my day at the gym: I need to find a new job elsewhere. I can't be around him and move on. Being around him is toxic. When he's being a dick, I want to quit. When he's being nice and normal, I dream about things being the way that they were.
Damnit. damnit damnit damnit damnit damnit. fuck.
I like my restaurant. I don't really like me. I'm the one that's the problem in this scenario.