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Feb 24, 2006 22:03

America's on Sale: Alix Olson

ATTENTION SHOPPERS!!!
attention 9 to 5 folk, cell-phone masses,
the up and coming classes,
attention sports-utility,
plastic-surgery suburbanites,
viagra-popping, gucci-shopping urbanites
attention george-clooney loonies,
promise-keeper sheep,
stockbroker sleep-walkers,
big investment talkers,
ricki lake-watchers,
attention walmart congregation,
shop til you drop generation,
ATTENTION NATION!
AMERICA'S ON SALE!

We've unstocked the welfare pantry
to restock the wall street gentry
it's economically elementary
because values don't pay
yes, american dreams are on permanent layaway!
(there was limited availability anyway)
the statue of liberty is being dismantled,
$10 a piece to sit on your mantle or hang on your wall
by the small somalian child
you bought from sally struthers
sisters and brothers, it's now or never,
these deals won't last forever-
AMERICA'S ON SALE!
(restrictions may apply if you're black, gay or female)

And shoppers!
global perspective is ninety-ninety percent off
cause most of the world don't count to us.
our ethic inventory is low
because moral business has been slow,
the values-company is moving to mexico--
and ALL ETHICS MUST GO!

It's a remote control america that's on sale
because standing up for justice can't compare
to clicking through it from a lazy chair--
Answer: jerry, montel, oprah
Question: folks who really care!
for $1,000,000,000!
in this new mcveggie burger world order
where the mainstream scene has an alternative theme.
sugar daddy and ginger spice
and all cultures spliced and diced,
that's what music is made of when
AMERICA'S ON SALE!

National health care is one-hundred percent off!
and medicare is in the 50% bin,
so you can buy--
half an operation
when AMERICA'S ON SALE!
there's a close-out bid to detxermine which religion will win
all the neon flashing signs of sin.
the christian coalition is bidding high
shoppers, you ask WHY?!
who needs a higher power when you've got the purchasing power
to corner and market
one human mold.
That's right- Real family values are being UNDERSOLD!!

And it's open hunting season for the NRA!
there's a special oozie discount-- only today!
Gun control?! We say--
Fuck it! Blow it all away!
welfare mothers are on the auction block again,
we're closing out this country the way we began!
so step up for our fastest selling commodity
no waiting lines for HIV,
condoms and needle-exchange are a hard to sell thing
(to the right wing)
while America's on sale!

We're selling fast to the AT&T CEO,
he's stealing all utilities, he doesn't pass go,
and collects all the money anyway!
he's the monopoly winner cause he bought the whole board
and we bought the whole game
now no price is the same!

Because inflation is up on the CEO ego
and power is deflated as far as we go:

Nike bought the revolution,
and law schools bought the constitution!
Tommy Hilfiger bought the red, white, and blue,
(a flag shirt for fifty dollars,
the one being burned is you!)
Marlboro bought what it means to be a man,
Lexus equals power- so get it while you can.
Maybelline bought beauty,
New York's buying Rudy Guiliani,
Mastercard Gold bought the national soul
Broadway bought talent and called it CATS!
the Republicans bought out the Democrats-
they liquidated all asses in a fat white donkey sale-
now it's buy one shmuck, get one shmuck free
in the capitalist party!

And there's nothing left to get in the way
of a full blue-light blow-out
of the U.S. of A!
there's a:
no-nothing back guarantee,
a zero-year warranty,
when you buy this land of the fritos, ruffles, lays..
this home of the braves, the chiefs, the reds, the slaves!
so call 1-800- i don't care about shit
or www.FUCK ALL OF IT!
to receive your credit for the fate of our nation-
(call now! interest is at an all-time low)

But hurry shoppers!
because america's being downsized, citizens,
and you're all fired.

"this little girl breaks furniture, this little girl breaks laws..."
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