(no subject)
So the job interview never materialized, because, as it turned out, it was for a 24-hour/week position. As nice as it would be to make a living working part-time, that's not gonna happen, so I said thanks anyway but no thanks.
For about a week and a half after canceling the interview, I felt pretty good about work. See, I work with really nice nurses, people with whom I've begun to socialize outside of work, people I consider good friends now. Going to work is nice, in a way, because I get to spend time with these nice people.
My patients are also (in a distinct change from my previous job) a real pleasure to care for, all of them universally well-educated, well-informed, and well-groomed. Illicit drug use and its concomitant noxious side effects are markedly absent. The absence of the debilitating effects of poverty is remarkable. My patients remember my name from day to day, send me cards with pictures of their adorable babies, take me out to lunch weeks after they've delivered, and mention my name to my manager so she can know I'm doing a good job. Not one patient in six months has addressed me disrespectfully; told me I was incompetent because I wouldn't do something ill-advised, medically dubious, or outright illegal as part of the care I provide; requested to be fisted; used profanity directed at me; or told me the overwhelmingly foul odor in the room was the result of the babydaddy's underwear.
So for about a week and a half, I felt newly engaged in my work in general, and at my the specific hospital. Maybe things aren't so bad, I thought. Maybe working nights isn't terrible. Maybe it's just a few doctors who don't adhere to the standards of care laid out by national organizations like the American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development, and the Association of Women's Health, Obstetric, and Neonatal Nurses. Maybe the paperwork wasn't all that horrible. Maybe the facility wasn't falling apart.
And then there was last night, when I had a confrontation with the chief resident about my interpretation of a fetal heart rate tracing in which she told me point blank that no, we don't adhere to those standards, and that my nursing practice was expected to fall in line with hospital standards rather than national ones[1]. A conversation with my nurse manager in the morning confirmed it, at least for the time being, though she was more accepting of the idea that a problem does exist and was open to the idea of fetal monitoring education for the residents as well as the nurses. Whether or not that would actually happen remains to be seen, and I'm not optimistic.
I don't know where else to work, honestly. The L&D unit at the safety net hospital across town is staffed by the same residents, who rotate there in six-week blocks, so I imagine the same conversations would happen over and over again. Besides, they have no permanent positions available right now. I'm talking with the nurse manager there about taking a per diem position in the hopes that it will become a permanent, benefitted position in the future, but thanks to MS, I can't be without health insurance, so that would mean working in both places simultaneously to maintain my benefits through my current job.
I can't really imagine doing more than another shift each week without killing myself, so I'm not sure how that would work out. I've entertained the notion of trying to buy private health insurance that's not work-dependent in order to free myself up to take a non-benefitted position, but even then I'd still be without things like short-term disability coverage--probably not a big deal, since I feel fine right now, but with MS anything is possible and it would suck to need it and not have it. I'm also not sure if a private company could refuse to insure me based on pre-existing conditions, so that might not even be a possibility.
Last night I applied for a few jobs in the OR at the same hospital. Please keep your fingers crossed for me.
[1] The exact quote, for the benefit of athenalaughed and sagefemme11, was, "We don't believe in earlies here. Don't evaluate the tracing that way. It's a late. It's not reassuring. Repeat the NST." This in the context of a 30-minute strip that had a normal baseline and moderate variability throughout, ten 15x15 accels (at 31+1!), and ONE early.
For about a week and a half after canceling the interview, I felt pretty good about work. See, I work with really nice nurses, people with whom I've begun to socialize outside of work, people I consider good friends now. Going to work is nice, in a way, because I get to spend time with these nice people.
My patients are also (in a distinct change from my previous job) a real pleasure to care for, all of them universally well-educated, well-informed, and well-groomed. Illicit drug use and its concomitant noxious side effects are markedly absent. The absence of the debilitating effects of poverty is remarkable. My patients remember my name from day to day, send me cards with pictures of their adorable babies, take me out to lunch weeks after they've delivered, and mention my name to my manager so she can know I'm doing a good job. Not one patient in six months has addressed me disrespectfully; told me I was incompetent because I wouldn't do something ill-advised, medically dubious, or outright illegal as part of the care I provide; requested to be fisted; used profanity directed at me; or told me the overwhelmingly foul odor in the room was the result of the babydaddy's underwear.
So for about a week and a half, I felt newly engaged in my work in general, and at my the specific hospital. Maybe things aren't so bad, I thought. Maybe working nights isn't terrible. Maybe it's just a few doctors who don't adhere to the standards of care laid out by national organizations like the American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development, and the Association of Women's Health, Obstetric, and Neonatal Nurses. Maybe the paperwork wasn't all that horrible. Maybe the facility wasn't falling apart.
And then there was last night, when I had a confrontation with the chief resident about my interpretation of a fetal heart rate tracing in which she told me point blank that no, we don't adhere to those standards, and that my nursing practice was expected to fall in line with hospital standards rather than national ones[1]. A conversation with my nurse manager in the morning confirmed it, at least for the time being, though she was more accepting of the idea that a problem does exist and was open to the idea of fetal monitoring education for the residents as well as the nurses. Whether or not that would actually happen remains to be seen, and I'm not optimistic.
I don't know where else to work, honestly. The L&D unit at the safety net hospital across town is staffed by the same residents, who rotate there in six-week blocks, so I imagine the same conversations would happen over and over again. Besides, they have no permanent positions available right now. I'm talking with the nurse manager there about taking a per diem position in the hopes that it will become a permanent, benefitted position in the future, but thanks to MS, I can't be without health insurance, so that would mean working in both places simultaneously to maintain my benefits through my current job.
I can't really imagine doing more than another shift each week without killing myself, so I'm not sure how that would work out. I've entertained the notion of trying to buy private health insurance that's not work-dependent in order to free myself up to take a non-benefitted position, but even then I'd still be without things like short-term disability coverage--probably not a big deal, since I feel fine right now, but with MS anything is possible and it would suck to need it and not have it. I'm also not sure if a private company could refuse to insure me based on pre-existing conditions, so that might not even be a possibility.
Last night I applied for a few jobs in the OR at the same hospital. Please keep your fingers crossed for me.
[1] The exact quote, for the benefit of athenalaughed and sagefemme11, was, "We don't believe in earlies here. Don't evaluate the tracing that way. It's a late. It's not reassuring. Repeat the NST." This in the context of a 30-minute strip that had a normal baseline and moderate variability throughout, ten 15x15 accels (at 31+1!), and ONE early.