In defense of glitter - a movie review
It's no big secret that I love watching bad movies. I actually PAID to see GI Joe last year, and I will happily watch Paul Blart: Mall Cop again. The other night I indulged in the 1969 Japanese sci-fi film "Attack of the Monsters" and bonded with Gamera, toy dinosaur (whose jets help him speed away at mach 33, but at mach 60 he can leave the solar system) and friend of space-venturing children as he helped fend off the foxy space ladies who wanted to eat the children's brains (to obtain their knowledge, of course!). If you haven't seen it yet, it's the best 84 minutes of your life, I kid you not.
This being said, it's no surprise that I was more than eager to see Sex and the City 2 this week. After reading a review equating the pain of watching this movie to that of a horror film, how could I pass it up?!
I had been warned that the best part of this film was the gay wedding at the beginning--complete with swans, glitter top hats for the boy choir, and miniature Liza Minnelli dancers, it did not disappoint--and from there it would be all downhill. So naturally, I arrived at the theater with the intention to brace myself for the forth-coming pain. As Emily and I combated the rapid costume changes with our vicious critiques and steaming envy, and Sierra logged awkward catchphrases to be used in our daily rapport, I kept waiting for the pain to start. And waiting... and waiting... But, to my surprise, it never came. Or at least, it never arrived in the intense dosage of misery I was anxious to subject myself to.
Maybe I was distracted by the abundance of glitter and unicorn shoes that Carrie bought at a market in Abu Dhabi (WANT!), but my honest opinion is that Sex and the City 2 was unfairly scathed by critics across the board. Don't get me wrong--it's a cheesy romantic comedy in every sense of the genre, and there are plenty of cringe-worthy moments to happily roll your eyes at--but that's exactly the kind of thing one would EXPECT when buying a ticket to see this movie, am I right?
The most baffling complaints I've found attack the film for its "inaccurate and offensive portrayal of the Middle East and its people." Are you KIDDING me?! You expect a superficial and light-hearted movie like SATC2 to have an accurate and fair representation of an extremely complex culture like the MIDDLE EAST?!?! What the fuck movie did you think you were signing up for when you bought the ticket? That's your own damn fault if those standards weren't met, so you should probably just stick to the news reports on CNN for a more satisfying conclusion to "Repressed Women of the Middle East and the Men Who Control Them." Sorry, but that's not actually a subplot in this film, it's just a point of comparison for the lead characters to indulge their shallow personalities and trivial relationship problems with (again, why wouldn't I be excited to see it??).
When one signs up to see a movie like SATC2, one must expect that plenty of time will be devoted to:
1) Fashion. Lots and lots of costume changes are key. Michael Patrick King always said that New York City was always the fifth character in the show, but really it's the fashion. God love him for it. In this film, we also get the extra bonus of interior decorating! My inner HGTV addict was thrilled, to say the least.
2) Mindless banter between four financially well-off and overly manicured women. The show was designed for everyday women to relate with these characters polarizing personalities and relationship issues (how often do you hear people say: "I'm Carrie!" or "I'm Samantha!" with thunderous pride? It's been a part of pop culture since 1998--get used to it) but in all seriousness, the majority of "everyday women" can actually NOT relate with the SATC characters because not many of us can afford their luxurious lifestyles (each woman took four bags of luggage with them when going on their trip) nor obtain the seemingly endless free time they have to sit down and talk about their shallow lives. The women of SATC are a fantasy, pure and simple. It doesn't mean we don't enjoy the development of their characters any less, it's just that anyone arguing that this movie is insulting to feminism and women's rights movements clearly missed the point.
No matter what, one should always expect that when signing up to see a movie that has DIAMONDS in the font, everything will likely be over-the-top. So why not just swim in it and enjoy the ride? This is a movie that lets you free your mind and join in on the fantasy. Who cares if there are awkward segways or bad deliveries of already cheesy lines--that's part of the fun! Has America really forgotten the joys of paying $10 to see a bad movie with your friends? Do people really take themselves that seriously?
In short, as far as romantic comedies go (and trust me, I've seen a lot of them), this comes no where near the bottom of my list in terms of overall suckage. Why were people so crazy about The Proposal? It was probably the most boring film I've seen that had the best potential for awkward storytelling in its genre. I mean, come on, it was basically a sequel to Two Weeks Notice but without the chemistry and semi-believable payoff. And really? It's Complicated beat out SATC2's 17% approval rating with a 56% approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes? I saw that film on my flight to New Zealand, and let me tell you, as far as bad movies goes, that one was UNBEARABLE, and not in a fun way. (it was also written and directed by a woman, so in this instance a gay man actually has a better handle on making entertaining romantic comedies than a one Miss Nancy Meyers).
And yes, I know what you're thinking: why take film advice from a girl who parades around in a homemade prom queen jacket, spreads rumors about secretly being a unicorn, starts glee clubs where people only sing Lady Gaga songs, and prides herself on seeking out bad movies that also serves as confusion for most people wondering if they should take her seriously or not? Well for the simple fact that I'm a fucking PROM QUEEN, enough said. Complain all you want about SATC2, but the pain is half the fun, people. The pain is half the fun.
This being said, it's no surprise that I was more than eager to see Sex and the City 2 this week. After reading a review equating the pain of watching this movie to that of a horror film, how could I pass it up?!
I had been warned that the best part of this film was the gay wedding at the beginning--complete with swans, glitter top hats for the boy choir, and miniature Liza Minnelli dancers, it did not disappoint--and from there it would be all downhill. So naturally, I arrived at the theater with the intention to brace myself for the forth-coming pain. As Emily and I combated the rapid costume changes with our vicious critiques and steaming envy, and Sierra logged awkward catchphrases to be used in our daily rapport, I kept waiting for the pain to start. And waiting... and waiting... But, to my surprise, it never came. Or at least, it never arrived in the intense dosage of misery I was anxious to subject myself to.
Maybe I was distracted by the abundance of glitter and unicorn shoes that Carrie bought at a market in Abu Dhabi (WANT!), but my honest opinion is that Sex and the City 2 was unfairly scathed by critics across the board. Don't get me wrong--it's a cheesy romantic comedy in every sense of the genre, and there are plenty of cringe-worthy moments to happily roll your eyes at--but that's exactly the kind of thing one would EXPECT when buying a ticket to see this movie, am I right?
The most baffling complaints I've found attack the film for its "inaccurate and offensive portrayal of the Middle East and its people." Are you KIDDING me?! You expect a superficial and light-hearted movie like SATC2 to have an accurate and fair representation of an extremely complex culture like the MIDDLE EAST?!?! What the fuck movie did you think you were signing up for when you bought the ticket? That's your own damn fault if those standards weren't met, so you should probably just stick to the news reports on CNN for a more satisfying conclusion to "Repressed Women of the Middle East and the Men Who Control Them." Sorry, but that's not actually a subplot in this film, it's just a point of comparison for the lead characters to indulge their shallow personalities and trivial relationship problems with (again, why wouldn't I be excited to see it??).
When one signs up to see a movie like SATC2, one must expect that plenty of time will be devoted to:
1) Fashion. Lots and lots of costume changes are key. Michael Patrick King always said that New York City was always the fifth character in the show, but really it's the fashion. God love him for it. In this film, we also get the extra bonus of interior decorating! My inner HGTV addict was thrilled, to say the least.
2) Mindless banter between four financially well-off and overly manicured women. The show was designed for everyday women to relate with these characters polarizing personalities and relationship issues (how often do you hear people say: "I'm Carrie!" or "I'm Samantha!" with thunderous pride? It's been a part of pop culture since 1998--get used to it) but in all seriousness, the majority of "everyday women" can actually NOT relate with the SATC characters because not many of us can afford their luxurious lifestyles (each woman took four bags of luggage with them when going on their trip) nor obtain the seemingly endless free time they have to sit down and talk about their shallow lives. The women of SATC are a fantasy, pure and simple. It doesn't mean we don't enjoy the development of their characters any less, it's just that anyone arguing that this movie is insulting to feminism and women's rights movements clearly missed the point.
No matter what, one should always expect that when signing up to see a movie that has DIAMONDS in the font, everything will likely be over-the-top. So why not just swim in it and enjoy the ride? This is a movie that lets you free your mind and join in on the fantasy. Who cares if there are awkward segways or bad deliveries of already cheesy lines--that's part of the fun! Has America really forgotten the joys of paying $10 to see a bad movie with your friends? Do people really take themselves that seriously?
In short, as far as romantic comedies go (and trust me, I've seen a lot of them), this comes no where near the bottom of my list in terms of overall suckage. Why were people so crazy about The Proposal? It was probably the most boring film I've seen that had the best potential for awkward storytelling in its genre. I mean, come on, it was basically a sequel to Two Weeks Notice but without the chemistry and semi-believable payoff. And really? It's Complicated beat out SATC2's 17% approval rating with a 56% approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes? I saw that film on my flight to New Zealand, and let me tell you, as far as bad movies goes, that one was UNBEARABLE, and not in a fun way. (it was also written and directed by a woman, so in this instance a gay man actually has a better handle on making entertaining romantic comedies than a one Miss Nancy Meyers).
And yes, I know what you're thinking: why take film advice from a girl who parades around in a homemade prom queen jacket, spreads rumors about secretly being a unicorn, starts glee clubs where people only sing Lady Gaga songs, and prides herself on seeking out bad movies that also serves as confusion for most people wondering if they should take her seriously or not? Well for the simple fact that I'm a fucking PROM QUEEN, enough said. Complain all you want about SATC2, but the pain is half the fun, people. The pain is half the fun.