(no subject)
Do you have ANY idea what the most adorable thing EVER is?
Any clue?
Any idea what is so fucking adorable it makes me want to just BURST with motherfucking joy? Well I will tell you -
It is when I am leaving someone a message and they decide that their snot nosed kid who talks like a retarded, whistling tea pot pipes up with a shrill voice and adds their own personal flare to the message! I LOVE that! I fucking can't get enough of people who have answering machine messages where I get to hear their kids piercing, loud ass, incoherent voice screeching at me to leave a message!
Thanks Junior! Not only have I not personally grasped the basic tenants of answering machine operation (thus making your loud as proclamation that I SHOULD leave a message a VERY useful one) but I didn't need that fucking eardrum anyway. That's why god gave me TWO of em! So I could waste one on shit like this! I planned to blow that out at an AC/DC concert, but your voice was SO much more pleasant to have causing me permanent hearing damage! It's a shame they only sell speakers in PAIRS because I am only going to need one for my lone remaining ear now!
So thank you, proud parents. Had I not been there to personally hear it, I would not have believed that the sound of YOUR child, you know, the one that ISN'T mine, the one that I have no personal vested interest in, didn't contribute anything to raising and could not give a shit less about, could have brightened MY dreary existence to the extent that it truly has! You were right, hands down, in your baseless assumption that everyone else tolerates, much less LOVES your crotch product and thinks they are as cute as you do.
Hey, can anyone point me to the nearest unicorn? Because I think I am about to ejaculate a motherfucking god damned titty slapping RAINBOW on it's face I am now so cunt punching HAPPY!
YAY!
Any clue?
Any idea what is so fucking adorable it makes me want to just BURST with motherfucking joy? Well I will tell you -
It is when I am leaving someone a message and they decide that their snot nosed kid who talks like a retarded, whistling tea pot pipes up with a shrill voice and adds their own personal flare to the message! I LOVE that! I fucking can't get enough of people who have answering machine messages where I get to hear their kids piercing, loud ass, incoherent voice screeching at me to leave a message!
Thanks Junior! Not only have I not personally grasped the basic tenants of answering machine operation (thus making your loud as proclamation that I SHOULD leave a message a VERY useful one) but I didn't need that fucking eardrum anyway. That's why god gave me TWO of em! So I could waste one on shit like this! I planned to blow that out at an AC/DC concert, but your voice was SO much more pleasant to have causing me permanent hearing damage! It's a shame they only sell speakers in PAIRS because I am only going to need one for my lone remaining ear now!
So thank you, proud parents. Had I not been there to personally hear it, I would not have believed that the sound of YOUR child, you know, the one that ISN'T mine, the one that I have no personal vested interest in, didn't contribute anything to raising and could not give a shit less about, could have brightened MY dreary existence to the extent that it truly has! You were right, hands down, in your baseless assumption that everyone else tolerates, much less LOVES your crotch product and thinks they are as cute as you do.
Hey, can anyone point me to the nearest unicorn? Because I think I am about to ejaculate a motherfucking god damned titty slapping RAINBOW on it's face I am now so cunt punching HAPPY!
YAY!