(no subject)
I'm one worn out kid these days. If you haven't been able to get a hold of me, most likely it's because I work almost every night. I've been working at Target for near a month now and let me tell you it's work. Sales floor wasn't too bad at first, but more and more I've been run ragged and feeling miserable. I'll be put in charge of managing a certain section, making sure it's clean, organized, etc on top of helping all the "guests" in that area doing whatever. I'll be called to back-up cashier too. I've learned what it is to have an ass for a supervisor (he kept everyone until nearly 12 am, which is two hours after the store closed). I've felt so down about it too because I can't half-ass my work the same as everyone else. When I do something I try to do it to the best of my ability and to be thorough. That doesn't work here. I realize there is far too much to do for me to do that and it upsets me because it's not all done as good as it should be, plus I look like a slow worker because I get stuck doing it so thoroughly like I was taught i should. It's a mess. I cried yesterday at work in a corner while I finished up. I was in charge of the Health and Beauty section (one of the most shopped) and even the LOD (leader on duty aka manager), Sara, made a comment about "why is it taking you so long?". now she didn't say it meanly but I was so frustrated because it takes so much work and I want to do such a good job at it but at the same time I look slower than everyone else because I don't half-ass it like they do. I got so upset I nearly cried then and there. I held it together long enough to go somewhere else in my zone to work alone and coach myself into not crying. Even my dreams later painted me as a failure. Seriously, I had dreams about work and in them I was told I was slow, inefficient and a failure.
I've also seemed to be undergoing physical changes. I don't know if it's stress from working, not being able to have steady meals because of work, my appetite is gone, or whatever else, but I've dropped nearly 10 pounds. I was walking around today in a wife-beater and my family got all concerned. My sister even asked me what I've been eating because I don't look healthy anymore. So I don't know what is up with that but everyone seems to be fretting over my weight now.
Today I was at work nearly until 12 again. We were let out at 11:43. Not to mention the fact that even though I requested only 20 hours a week, the week of school I was scheduled to work 28 hours (closing the store nearly every time which means I may actually work 31 hours). I'm worried about my school. Where am I going to fit that in? When will I get to study? I wrote the Human Resources woman a note stating my concerns and asking that the week following the one I just mentioned not have more than 22 hours max, I still ended up with 25. I don't know if she didn't read the note yet or if that's her way of trying to work around my school schedule but I'm weary of how this whole thing is going to go. Think I've bitched enough... going to retire now because it 1 am and I have work at 10am til nearly 7pm. Night.
I've also seemed to be undergoing physical changes. I don't know if it's stress from working, not being able to have steady meals because of work, my appetite is gone, or whatever else, but I've dropped nearly 10 pounds. I was walking around today in a wife-beater and my family got all concerned. My sister even asked me what I've been eating because I don't look healthy anymore. So I don't know what is up with that but everyone seems to be fretting over my weight now.
Today I was at work nearly until 12 again. We were let out at 11:43. Not to mention the fact that even though I requested only 20 hours a week, the week of school I was scheduled to work 28 hours (closing the store nearly every time which means I may actually work 31 hours). I'm worried about my school. Where am I going to fit that in? When will I get to study? I wrote the Human Resources woman a note stating my concerns and asking that the week following the one I just mentioned not have more than 22 hours max, I still ended up with 25. I don't know if she didn't read the note yet or if that's her way of trying to work around my school schedule but I'm weary of how this whole thing is going to go. Think I've bitched enough... going to retire now because it 1 am and I have work at 10am til nearly 7pm. Night.