reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated
i r not dead, just restin. pinin for the fjords if you will. listening to a lot of angsty lovesongs, hard rocking angsty lovesongs. it makes me a bit of the moody, morose side of the world.
hence the following. prepare for angst.
i've been thinking a lot. the nature of humanity is to not be alone. "it is not good for man to be alone..." but that's exactly what i am. i am alone. i mean, there's people all around me, ppl who claim to care, but i am alone. even when i'm with ashie, which hardly ever happens at all anymore, i feel separated. isolated even. and i really don't know why.
maybe its my own fault. i mean, i love my family, i love ashie till the sun burns out. but i've always prided myself on being abnormal, outside the box, the misshapen, free-formed christmas tree among the cookie-cutter perfect ones. maybe i'm TOO different. (gods help us all if there is such a thing)
other news in the wierd and wonderful world of me... i found my long-lost bestie from girl scouts. she looks almost the same as she did back then, just a bit taller and slimmer. ams came into wawa, and thru my line and was shocked as hell to see me. tbqh, i was shocked as hell to see HER. she still hangs with some of the old gang. the old gang being the girls who met in our tent at a camping trip and read the naughty viking romance book that my daddy had given me for the trip. (not too bad, just a lot of talk of tempering warriors, and putting rings on stumps...) we may be going out to a club or whatnot very soon.*crosses fingers* or i might have a new boy to hang with. if ashie can have her boys, then i can have one too. not that i'm actively looking, mind you. just, if a suitable one comes along, i won't say no. gods i hate open relationships, they give me such a wicked complex.
hence the following. prepare for angst.
i've been thinking a lot. the nature of humanity is to not be alone. "it is not good for man to be alone..." but that's exactly what i am. i am alone. i mean, there's people all around me, ppl who claim to care, but i am alone. even when i'm with ashie, which hardly ever happens at all anymore, i feel separated. isolated even. and i really don't know why.
maybe its my own fault. i mean, i love my family, i love ashie till the sun burns out. but i've always prided myself on being abnormal, outside the box, the misshapen, free-formed christmas tree among the cookie-cutter perfect ones. maybe i'm TOO different. (gods help us all if there is such a thing)
other news in the wierd and wonderful world of me... i found my long-lost bestie from girl scouts. she looks almost the same as she did back then, just a bit taller and slimmer. ams came into wawa, and thru my line and was shocked as hell to see me. tbqh, i was shocked as hell to see HER. she still hangs with some of the old gang. the old gang being the girls who met in our tent at a camping trip and read the naughty viking romance book that my daddy had given me for the trip. (not too bad, just a lot of talk of tempering warriors, and putting rings on stumps...) we may be going out to a club or whatnot very soon.*crosses fingers* or i might have a new boy to hang with. if ashie can have her boys, then i can have one too. not that i'm actively looking, mind you. just, if a suitable one comes along, i won't say no. gods i hate open relationships, they give me such a wicked complex.