(no subject)
i dont get this. ok i was mad when he wrote that stuff because i felt like he didnt trust me or want to tell me. so i was angry..left a bad message on his lj. and he comes back and starts this arguement about how im being childish and shit for starting arguements all the time. i wasnt even arguing with him at the time either! i was just talking and telling him why i was so angry! and then he was being all mean to me and then he said that he doubted if i'd talk to him if he was still going out with someone! i was talking to him just now and i still thought he was dating lyndsey. I still consider him a close friend. and i said "i'd still talk to you" and he said i was fucking lying. what the fuck. im sorry that not all the time i can act as if nothing's ever happened between us. but i mean.once he got his girlfriend i was planning on putting that shit behind us and just being his friend. he's not even giving me a fucking chance this time. i think i've made a huge mistake. I shouldnt have ever let my feelings out and telling him stuff. he always told me to, but look where it fucking got me. i feel like crying. He was so bitter to me the whole time. He didnt even try to understand where i was coming from. He called me childish, which i think is his favorite way of hurting my feelings now. Last time he made me cry fom that. and now im all dizzy from what he said to me. If this shit keeps up im thinking it might just be best if we just stop talking. cus he seems to not want to deal or talk with me anymore. Like he doesnt give a shit what happens with our friendship. But then he'd think im being childish again and hate me for it. well im sorry. thats just who i am. i hold onto things longer. yeah its not fun, but i cant help it sometimes. It's just how i work. *sigh*
i really dont know where this is going... i dont know what to do. but i dont want to listen to anyone because..i dont know. whenever i do listen to people, its always "leave him, block him" and shit. thats why i never tell people my problems with friends anymore because thats all the help i get. and thats the last thing i want from people. Anyways. I still consider kevin my friend..and i hope he feels the same way with me.
anyways..onto better subjects. tonight i went to crystal's 16th birthday party. it was awesome. Amanda, garrett, karen, jessica, kelly, were there. along with like..20 other people i dont feel like naming. Oh man, i freaking love those girls (oh and garrett too. ^^) they made me laugh all night. we had a bonfire..and later we got some candles out onto some blankets and just layed there together, me, karen, amanda and crystal. tons of fun. i love just talking to them. they're like...my soul..friends..>> er..yeah. and both karen and i want to go to Pratt University (or at least for me it'd be cool..but im still looking). i would so go there with karen. i'd have way too much fun with her ^^ anyways. it was fun. Oh and the guy from Hot Hot Heat is so freaking prettttyy. i like his teeth. and his hair. haha. i love their song Goodnight, goodnight. its stuck in my head. man i love it. so pretty. anyways! thats it. i have a huge headache. going to bed unless kevin comes back on and i can say sorry. but its doubtful. *sigh*. anyways goodnightgoodnight <3 Mwahs.
:laura:
i really dont know where this is going... i dont know what to do. but i dont want to listen to anyone because..i dont know. whenever i do listen to people, its always "leave him, block him" and shit. thats why i never tell people my problems with friends anymore because thats all the help i get. and thats the last thing i want from people. Anyways. I still consider kevin my friend..and i hope he feels the same way with me.
anyways..onto better subjects. tonight i went to crystal's 16th birthday party. it was awesome. Amanda, garrett, karen, jessica, kelly, were there. along with like..20 other people i dont feel like naming. Oh man, i freaking love those girls (oh and garrett too. ^^) they made me laugh all night. we had a bonfire..and later we got some candles out onto some blankets and just layed there together, me, karen, amanda and crystal. tons of fun. i love just talking to them. they're like...my soul..friends..>> er..yeah. and both karen and i want to go to Pratt University (or at least for me it'd be cool..but im still looking). i would so go there with karen. i'd have way too much fun with her ^^ anyways. it was fun. Oh and the guy from Hot Hot Heat is so freaking prettttyy. i like his teeth. and his hair. haha. i love their song Goodnight, goodnight. its stuck in my head. man i love it. so pretty. anyways! thats it. i have a huge headache. going to bed unless kevin comes back on and i can say sorry. but its doubtful. *sigh*. anyways goodnightgoodnight <3 Mwahs.
:laura: