(no subject)
1. NAMES:
If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch,
they will
> >> >> >>> call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.
> >> >> >>>
> >> >> >>> If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will
> >>affectionately
> >> >>
> >> >>>refer
> >> >>> to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head
> >>and Scrappy.
> >> >> >>>
> >> >> >>>
> >> >> >>> 2. EATING OUT:
> >> >> >>>
> >> >> >>> When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each
> >> >>throw
> >> >> >>>in
> >> >> >>> a $20, even though it's only for
> >> >> >>>$32.50. None of them will have
> >> >> >>> anything smaller and none will actually admit they want the
> >> >>
> >> >> >>>change back.
> >> >> >>>
> >> >> >>> When the women get their bill, out come the pocket
> >> >>calculators.
> >> >> >>>
> >> >>
> >>>
> >> >> >>> 3. MONEY:
> >> >> >>>
> >> >>
> >> >>> A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs
> >> >> >>> A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but
> >> >>it's
> >> >> >>>on
> >> >> >>> sale.
> >> >> >>>
> >> >> >>>
> >> >> >>> 4. BATHROOMS:
> >> >> >>>
> >> >> >>> A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving
> >> >> >>>cream,
> >> >> >>> razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the
> >> >> >>>Marriott. The average number of items in the typical
> >>woman's
> >> >> >>>bathroom
>is
> >> >> >>> 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these
> >> >>items.
> >> >> >>>
> >> >> >>>
> >> >> >>> 5. ARGUMENTS:
> >> >>
> >> >>>
> >> >> >>> A woman has the last word in any argument.
> >> >> >>> Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new
> >> >> >>>argument.
> >> >> >>>
> >> >> >>>
> >> >> >>> 6. CATS:
> >> >> >>>
> >> >> >>> Women love cats.
> >> >> >>> Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men
> >> >>kick
> >> >> >>>cats.
> >> >> >>>
> >> >>
> >>>
> >> >> >>> 7. FUTURE:
> >> >> >>>
> >> >> >>> A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
> >> >> >>> A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
> >> >> >>>
> >> >> >>>
> >> >> >>> 8.
> >>SUCCESS:
> >> >> >>>
> >> >> >>> A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife
> >>can
> >> >>
> >> >> >>> spend.
> >> >> >>> A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
> >> >> >>>
> >> >> >>>
> >> >> >>> 9. MARRIAGE:
> >> >> >>> A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but
>he
> >> >>doesn't.
> >> >> >>> A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and
> >>she
> >> >> >>>does.
> >> >> >>>
> >> >> >>>
> >> >> >>> 10. DRESSING UP:
> >> >> >>>
> >> >> >>> A woman will dress up to go 4 shopping, to water the
> >>plants,
> >> >> >>>empty the
> >> >> >>> garbage, answer the phone, read a book,
> >>and read the mail.
> >> >> >>> A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
> >> >> >>>
> >> >> >>>
> >> >> >>> 11. NATURAL:
> >> >> >>>
> >> >> >>> Men wake up as good-looking as they went to
>bed.
> >> >> >>> Women somehow
> >> >>deteriorate during the night.
> >> >> >>>
> >> >> >>>
> >> >> >>> 12. OFFSPRING:
> >> >> >>>
> >> >> >>> Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She
> >>knows
> >> >> >>>about
> >> >> >>> dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite
> >> >>foods,
> >> >> >>> secret fears and hopes and dreams.
> >> >> >>>
> >> >> >>> A man is vaguely aware of some short people
> >>living in the
> >> >>house.
> >> >> >>>
> >> >> >>>
> >> >> >>> 13. FINAL THOUGHT:
> >> >>
> >>> Any married man should
> >> >> >>>forget his mistakes. >> >>> There's no use in two people
> >>remembering the same thing.
> >> >> >
> >> >>
i'm going 2 work in a bar yayyyyyyyyyyyyyy
o i may get married
If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch,
they will
> >> >> >>> call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.
> >> >> >>>
> >> >> >>> If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will
> >>affectionately
> >> >>
> >> >>>refer
> >> >>> to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head
> >>and Scrappy.
> >> >> >>>
> >> >> >>>
> >> >> >>> 2. EATING OUT:
> >> >> >>>
> >> >> >>> When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each
> >> >>throw
> >> >> >>>in
> >> >> >>> a $20, even though it's only for
> >> >> >>>$32.50. None of them will have
> >> >> >>> anything smaller and none will actually admit they want the
> >> >>
> >> >> >>>change back.
> >> >> >>>
> >> >> >>> When the women get their bill, out come the pocket
> >> >>calculators.
> >> >> >>>
> >> >>
> >>>
> >> >> >>> 3. MONEY:
> >> >> >>>
> >> >>
> >> >>> A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs
> >> >> >>> A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but
> >> >>it's
> >> >> >>>on
> >> >> >>> sale.
> >> >> >>>
> >> >> >>>
> >> >> >>> 4. BATHROOMS:
> >> >> >>>
> >> >> >>> A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving
> >> >> >>>cream,
> >> >> >>> razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the
> >> >> >>>Marriott. The average number of items in the typical
> >>woman's
> >> >> >>>bathroom
>is
> >> >> >>> 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these
> >> >>items.
> >> >> >>>
> >> >> >>>
> >> >> >>> 5. ARGUMENTS:
> >> >>
> >> >>>
> >> >> >>> A woman has the last word in any argument.
> >> >> >>> Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new
> >> >> >>>argument.
> >> >> >>>
> >> >> >>>
> >> >> >>> 6. CATS:
> >> >> >>>
> >> >> >>> Women love cats.
> >> >> >>> Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men
> >> >>kick
> >> >> >>>cats.
> >> >> >>>
> >> >>
> >>>
> >> >> >>> 7. FUTURE:
> >> >> >>>
> >> >> >>> A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
> >> >> >>> A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
> >> >> >>>
> >> >> >>>
> >> >> >>> 8.
> >>SUCCESS:
> >> >> >>>
> >> >> >>> A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife
> >>can
> >> >>
> >> >> >>> spend.
> >> >> >>> A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
> >> >> >>>
> >> >> >>>
> >> >> >>> 9. MARRIAGE:
> >> >> >>> A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but
>he
> >> >>doesn't.
> >> >> >>> A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and
> >>she
> >> >> >>>does.
> >> >> >>>
> >> >> >>>
> >> >> >>> 10. DRESSING UP:
> >> >> >>>
> >> >> >>> A woman will dress up to go 4 shopping, to water the
> >>plants,
> >> >> >>>empty the
> >> >> >>> garbage, answer the phone, read a book,
> >>and read the mail.
> >> >> >>> A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
> >> >> >>>
> >> >> >>>
> >> >> >>> 11. NATURAL:
> >> >> >>>
> >> >> >>> Men wake up as good-looking as they went to
>bed.
> >> >> >>> Women somehow
> >> >>deteriorate during the night.
> >> >> >>>
> >> >> >>>
> >> >> >>> 12. OFFSPRING:
> >> >> >>>
> >> >> >>> Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She
> >>knows
> >> >> >>>about
> >> >> >>> dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite
> >> >>foods,
> >> >> >>> secret fears and hopes and dreams.
> >> >> >>>
> >> >> >>> A man is vaguely aware of some short people
> >>living in the
> >> >>house.
> >> >> >>>
> >> >> >>>
> >> >> >>> 13. FINAL THOUGHT:
> >> >>
> >>> Any married man should
> >> >> >>>forget his mistakes. >> >>> There's no use in two people
> >>remembering the same thing.
> >> >> >
> >> >>
i'm going 2 work in a bar yayyyyyyyyyyyyyy
o i may get married