Real talk?
I'm not going to lie. No matter how much conviction I have in my decisions this time it's really hard. I know I'll do it and I'm fully set on so. Mentally I've already dedicated and will follow through. But I'm letting go of the only two things I can honestly and truthfully say I loved and was happy in taking pride of.
The really only two positive parts of my past self ate being relinquished and that is mentally tolling, even if I know it's all for the better.
This is making the harder decision though, if it was easy I wouldn't gain anything from it. It would be like all my past decisions. There is a lot in my mind that I've been thinking about the past few days. Talking to a good friend of mine... Yesterday was really releasing. A true neutral that was not part of anything and saw things truly as a third person.
I really am brilliant in how I think. It's such a shame I was such a fucking wreck I couldn't use it well. Even now, where I can honestly claim I'm worlds better I know I'm still unstable and cannot fully use what I have. Letting go... I'm doing it, but it hurts.
Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.