(no subject)
Do you ever feel like you're caught up in this climatic clash between good and evil, but you're not sure which side you picked? Sadly enough, I feel like I picked the evil side and didn't even realize it. I don't do much to really improve any lot but my own. And once in a while it's at someone else's expense. One thing I read once is that a person can point to all the many things they have NOT done wrong, but it still does not make them good. What makes someone truly good at heart is what they intentionally do right for others. While I dislike taking ideas from books and applying them to my life (in this case exceptionally so because of the source), I cannot help but marvel at the simple truth of it all. Being a good person isn't simply avoiding wrongdoing, it is actively doing something good.
What have I done good? Not that much. Though other people might argue with me. Yes, I do take care of disabled adults. It is a difficult job, the hours are shit and the pay is low. Is this actually good? Not really. I do this job because it is the only job that I was offered. If I was offered a better job tomorrow, I would take it on the spot. While it doesn't actually hurt the guys I take care of, it most certainly put into sharp contrast the difference between doing something good for it's own sake and simply treating it all as a means to an end.
The point of the matter is, I do not do much in the way of good. Do I do things wrong? Most certainly. Can anyone reading this not think of at least one time where I did something for myself at your expense? Not that it was intended, but most certainly done. And everyone here can think of at least one thing. I have done many things wrong, and not nearly as many right.
Am I an evil person? I don't think so, but neither am I good. I am neutral in many ways. My dark inside betrays me to a bit of wrong. But I desperately wish to be with that which is right. This leaves me right in the same dilemma I started in. I strive to be good, but I stumble into wrong. There is so much in the world that I can easily point to and label as evil. And I do quite often now that I think about it. But every once in a while, I think it's to one's own benefit to look at the blackness that can fester in your spirit to be reminded that it does no good to congratulate oneself about how good you are. Once you stop to do that, you've faltered. You've slipped into the trap of neutrality. Being a good person is beyond avoiding overt evil, it's actively promoting that which is good and just.
What have I done good? Not that much. Though other people might argue with me. Yes, I do take care of disabled adults. It is a difficult job, the hours are shit and the pay is low. Is this actually good? Not really. I do this job because it is the only job that I was offered. If I was offered a better job tomorrow, I would take it on the spot. While it doesn't actually hurt the guys I take care of, it most certainly put into sharp contrast the difference between doing something good for it's own sake and simply treating it all as a means to an end.
The point of the matter is, I do not do much in the way of good. Do I do things wrong? Most certainly. Can anyone reading this not think of at least one time where I did something for myself at your expense? Not that it was intended, but most certainly done. And everyone here can think of at least one thing. I have done many things wrong, and not nearly as many right.
Am I an evil person? I don't think so, but neither am I good. I am neutral in many ways. My dark inside betrays me to a bit of wrong. But I desperately wish to be with that which is right. This leaves me right in the same dilemma I started in. I strive to be good, but I stumble into wrong. There is so much in the world that I can easily point to and label as evil. And I do quite often now that I think about it. But every once in a while, I think it's to one's own benefit to look at the blackness that can fester in your spirit to be reminded that it does no good to congratulate oneself about how good you are. Once you stop to do that, you've faltered. You've slipped into the trap of neutrality. Being a good person is beyond avoiding overt evil, it's actively promoting that which is good and just.