Blah
It's 1:00am as I start to write this. I have to leave for work in just under 3 hours. I have to shower and dress and make sure everything is packed and put my bags in the car and check out of my hotel. Then I have to muddle through my last 8 hours of keys and alarms and balance sheets and bagging and sealing and stapling and counting and rubber-banding and carrying and sitting and walking and waiting and thinking and and... I really should have tried to sleep tonight. But per usual, I'm worried about not waking up in time (I didn't get up in time this morn) and I have a little more to do before leaving for work this morn then just rolling out of bed, washing my face and putting on clothes. Another smart thing for me to do would probably have been to see if I could check-out after I get back from work (btw 12 and 2) but I don't know when exactly that would be, and it seemed like just leaving the hotel this morn all checked-out and ready to go would be the easiest way, despite the fact that it would probably cost me sleep which I've been getting very little of in the evening to start. So now I'm paranoid that I'll oversleep in the airport or something. My plane doesn't leave 'til 5:40pm so I'll probably have a good few hours to bum around.
I have mixed feelings about leaving. I know the past few days I've been really excited to go, but I think that was mostly being excited to stop working. I've really been pretty comfortable in my hotel room; it's a little sad leaving my big comfy bed, my big non-cluttered desk, my big swiveling tv, my little coffeepot, my own sink area and bathroom... it's not like it's "home," but it's the closest thing I've had to my own place since leaving SPU. Counting the time I was here in November, I've lived out of this hotel for over a month. That's a decent amount of time for two business trips. And speaking of being here on a "business trip," it's been weird being here primarily for a job that for me is based out of San Diego. While I've been doing school (the online math class) and I did get to see a couple friends that's not why I've been here.
I'm really tempted to go curl up in my big comfy bed for a little bit, for the last time, but I don't want to fall asleep or not wake up and run out of time. *sigh* Stupid me. Why didn't I just pack things this afternoon and try to go to sleep at 8 or something? Well because I'm just not that sensible. Or maybe some other reason, but I'm not going to psycho-analyze myself too much right now.
ALSO, I don't feel well. I'm getting really dry and puffy to top off the fact that I was already feeling fat and bloated. I think I gained more weight in the last couple days of eating food than I did in the 10+ days of not eating. (And I've only been eating good food! Fruit, veggies, soup, etc.) I don't know if I actually have gained, I haven't checked my weight since I left. It's not so much about the pounds but how I look and feel, and I really feel big and unattractive right now. I know Kellen won't care or probably even notice, but I so wanted to look(and feel) nice when I saw him tomorrow. And I so sound like a stupid So Cal girl. Along with my hands and feet hurting from being dry, my throat has been hurting, and my face has broken out a little in the last few days (when it had been clear at least the whole week before). I've been drinking lots of water and even using moisturizing lotion!! Life is really unfair.
Well, I've managed to vent for almost an hour. I think I'm going to go get in the shower. I need to remember to retrieve my favorite Nalgene from the work van I left it in, and to look for my book again (Brave New World, that I just bought up here, and somehow disappeared already.)
There is a train going by. One went by earlier that shook the whole hotel. Sometimes the background train noise sounds like waves.
I want a dog.
I have mixed feelings about leaving. I know the past few days I've been really excited to go, but I think that was mostly being excited to stop working. I've really been pretty comfortable in my hotel room; it's a little sad leaving my big comfy bed, my big non-cluttered desk, my big swiveling tv, my little coffeepot, my own sink area and bathroom... it's not like it's "home," but it's the closest thing I've had to my own place since leaving SPU. Counting the time I was here in November, I've lived out of this hotel for over a month. That's a decent amount of time for two business trips. And speaking of being here on a "business trip," it's been weird being here primarily for a job that for me is based out of San Diego. While I've been doing school (the online math class) and I did get to see a couple friends that's not why I've been here.
I'm really tempted to go curl up in my big comfy bed for a little bit, for the last time, but I don't want to fall asleep or not wake up and run out of time. *sigh* Stupid me. Why didn't I just pack things this afternoon and try to go to sleep at 8 or something? Well because I'm just not that sensible. Or maybe some other reason, but I'm not going to psycho-analyze myself too much right now.
ALSO, I don't feel well. I'm getting really dry and puffy to top off the fact that I was already feeling fat and bloated. I think I gained more weight in the last couple days of eating food than I did in the 10+ days of not eating. (And I've only been eating good food! Fruit, veggies, soup, etc.) I don't know if I actually have gained, I haven't checked my weight since I left. It's not so much about the pounds but how I look and feel, and I really feel big and unattractive right now. I know Kellen won't care or probably even notice, but I so wanted to look(and feel) nice when I saw him tomorrow. And I so sound like a stupid So Cal girl. Along with my hands and feet hurting from being dry, my throat has been hurting, and my face has broken out a little in the last few days (when it had been clear at least the whole week before). I've been drinking lots of water and even using moisturizing lotion!! Life is really unfair.
Well, I've managed to vent for almost an hour. I think I'm going to go get in the shower. I need to remember to retrieve my favorite Nalgene from the work van I left it in, and to look for my book again (Brave New World, that I just bought up here, and somehow disappeared already.)
There is a train going by. One went by earlier that shook the whole hotel. Sometimes the background train noise sounds like waves.
I want a dog.