(no subject)
I always find it really hard when there is someone that I care about who won't open up to me. I've always been a person for my friends to come to when they need me, no matter the problem and when it comes to one of the people that I care about the most...I wanna be there for him. I'm trying so hard to help him through this rough time that he is having with court and stuff, but it is hard to want to stay there when he gets in his shitty moods and then acts like everything I do or say is wrong.
I don't know who, if anyone, he ever opens up to when he needs to talk. I don't know if any of the other people that he has as friends are ever there for him, and I know that being a guy he feels like he has to do it on his own but he needs to realize that he doesn't. I also know that he doesn't want everyone to know what it is that he did so that he is now having to deal with court, but there are ways to talk without telling the whole story. I do it all of the time, but I'm also not one who always talks about my feelings either.
I take on all of the feelings that I have and push them aside...I wear them like heavy armor on my back, and take on the troubles of others. So, I know how unhealthy and painful it can all get, and I just don't want him to have to do that. I've learned how to deal with it and maintain my composure, but that is something I can tell he is having trouble with. He may be almost 3yrs older, but I know what I'm talking about. He may feel stupid confiding in someone younger, let alone a female, but I guess I just have too big of a heart. Sometimes I wish that I could just sit back and leave people to deal with their own problems, but if I did that then I'd be forced to deal with my own problems and pains that have been building up since I was 5, and 13yrs of that is just too much to deal with.
I just want to tell him how much I care and how much it means to me that he has trust in me, but I know that is something that he can't handle. Unfortunately, I am unable to keep writing because I can't express in words how I truly feel and I am just too run down and tired from it all.
I don't know who, if anyone, he ever opens up to when he needs to talk. I don't know if any of the other people that he has as friends are ever there for him, and I know that being a guy he feels like he has to do it on his own but he needs to realize that he doesn't. I also know that he doesn't want everyone to know what it is that he did so that he is now having to deal with court, but there are ways to talk without telling the whole story. I do it all of the time, but I'm also not one who always talks about my feelings either.
I take on all of the feelings that I have and push them aside...I wear them like heavy armor on my back, and take on the troubles of others. So, I know how unhealthy and painful it can all get, and I just don't want him to have to do that. I've learned how to deal with it and maintain my composure, but that is something I can tell he is having trouble with. He may be almost 3yrs older, but I know what I'm talking about. He may feel stupid confiding in someone younger, let alone a female, but I guess I just have too big of a heart. Sometimes I wish that I could just sit back and leave people to deal with their own problems, but if I did that then I'd be forced to deal with my own problems and pains that have been building up since I was 5, and 13yrs of that is just too much to deal with.
I just want to tell him how much I care and how much it means to me that he has trust in me, but I know that is something that he can't handle. Unfortunately, I am unable to keep writing because I can't express in words how I truly feel and I am just too run down and tired from it all.