Stressful
today was just too stressful
work was just bad, all the chefs are being very lude toward the women and the chefs never get in trouble and the gilrs have had it. frankly i agree
Teresa just worries me. i love her to death but her self loathing and the endless feud between her and hes sister/mom/dad/freinds/school/and the rest of the world just has me beat. ive tryed my very best to resolve any anything with/for her but things only seem to get worse. im very proud of her, she went to LA to do modeling for a photgrapher, and get to be in magazines. i seems like non of that even phased her. im proud of her, but shes not even proud of the progress she made. i want her to appreciate and love what she does. its just so hard to deal with negativity, all i want is her to feel better.
shes got her self in this bind where nothing will get better unless she starts to hold on to something she loves till the duration of this battle she fights day by day has run its course. alot of thing can happen from here. she can continue to fight till things get extremely worse until legal or self implosion. or continue to put up walls untill she blocks everything away including me. lastly she could destroy everything she loves including me in the end. im here for her for the best and especially the worst. i miss when shes gone, and i love being with her. lately any time i enter that houshold another fight starts. ive mediated a few of those. i can honestly say its up to her to do what she wants. ive done all i can to help. if thats not enough she wants to pick up smoking again, which i dont want to see her do to herself.
i wish she would just take care of herself. i wanna buy a house and live with her someday, even get married. but i dont want a wedding of none of her family shows up. i dont dont want to be disconected from family or freinds because shes disconected all contact with. i know i still want to have my mom and dad and my family and freinds to talk to and still keep touch with. but what is she gonna do when i wanna to be with them? a house wont resolve anything right now, running from problems are only going to cause them. i know that her sister picks fights and tries to cut her out as the bad guy. i see her do it often and everyone knows that teresa isnt the bad guy cause its getting old day by day.
thats just a fraction of what goes on in my head. nothings perfect, im not perfect, and im certainly not perfect for admiting im not. I love my baby more then ive ever loved anyone, i just hope this week gets better for her more then me. i dont want anything to be distant between us. i love her so much i just want to see her start to mend and take care of her self. ive seen her do it, and when she looks good and feels good shes said it to me before. i know its in her, its just that ive done entirely all that i can for her and now its up to her. all i can do know is be there for her and root for her and hope the very best for my teresa. i cant stress how much i care for her. i just know once she apreciates her self things will get immensily better. she knows i love her and i would never do anything to hurt her. i dont want her to think im complaining that im trying to make her look like a terrible person. cause shes not at all, and deep down she knows that. i just want her to know how much i want her to feel better and what im afraid will happen if it continues. i want nothing more then to hold her and make everything go away. i cant wait to see her tommorow after school and tell her i love you.
~+Dean+~
work was just bad, all the chefs are being very lude toward the women and the chefs never get in trouble and the gilrs have had it. frankly i agree
Teresa just worries me. i love her to death but her self loathing and the endless feud between her and hes sister/mom/dad/freinds/school/and the rest of the world just has me beat. ive tryed my very best to resolve any anything with/for her but things only seem to get worse. im very proud of her, she went to LA to do modeling for a photgrapher, and get to be in magazines. i seems like non of that even phased her. im proud of her, but shes not even proud of the progress she made. i want her to appreciate and love what she does. its just so hard to deal with negativity, all i want is her to feel better.
shes got her self in this bind where nothing will get better unless she starts to hold on to something she loves till the duration of this battle she fights day by day has run its course. alot of thing can happen from here. she can continue to fight till things get extremely worse until legal or self implosion. or continue to put up walls untill she blocks everything away including me. lastly she could destroy everything she loves including me in the end. im here for her for the best and especially the worst. i miss when shes gone, and i love being with her. lately any time i enter that houshold another fight starts. ive mediated a few of those. i can honestly say its up to her to do what she wants. ive done all i can to help. if thats not enough she wants to pick up smoking again, which i dont want to see her do to herself.
i wish she would just take care of herself. i wanna buy a house and live with her someday, even get married. but i dont want a wedding of none of her family shows up. i dont dont want to be disconected from family or freinds because shes disconected all contact with. i know i still want to have my mom and dad and my family and freinds to talk to and still keep touch with. but what is she gonna do when i wanna to be with them? a house wont resolve anything right now, running from problems are only going to cause them. i know that her sister picks fights and tries to cut her out as the bad guy. i see her do it often and everyone knows that teresa isnt the bad guy cause its getting old day by day.
thats just a fraction of what goes on in my head. nothings perfect, im not perfect, and im certainly not perfect for admiting im not. I love my baby more then ive ever loved anyone, i just hope this week gets better for her more then me. i dont want anything to be distant between us. i love her so much i just want to see her start to mend and take care of her self. ive seen her do it, and when she looks good and feels good shes said it to me before. i know its in her, its just that ive done entirely all that i can for her and now its up to her. all i can do know is be there for her and root for her and hope the very best for my teresa. i cant stress how much i care for her. i just know once she apreciates her self things will get immensily better. she knows i love her and i would never do anything to hurt her. i dont want her to think im complaining that im trying to make her look like a terrible person. cause shes not at all, and deep down she knows that. i just want her to know how much i want her to feel better and what im afraid will happen if it continues. i want nothing more then to hold her and make everything go away. i cant wait to see her tommorow after school and tell her i love you.
~+Dean+~