Now What?
Torn is the only word I can use to describe how I feel right now.
The pull of home and family and friends is fighting against the lure of what could be a great job opportunity in Pennsylvania.
I want to wait and spend some time with my family and friends in Alaska, whom I haven't seen or spent any decent amount of time with in WAY too long, but I know this job isn't going to wait.
I've had a bad experience with going into a job and taking a chance (ironically also in PA) but taking a leap of faith was also what I did when I went to the Woods, and it turned out to be the best decision I've ever made.
When I'm speaking with my potential employer, the adrenaline rush I get from someone actually wanting me to come and work for them is so exciting, and I feel like just jumping on it and going east. But as soon as I hang up, the feeling of happiness immediately fades away and I feel more like crying instead. My heart aches at the thought of being so far away from home on a much more permanent basis. Somehow I can only see this job, which would really further my career in the horse world, as something I'm going to get myself into and then be miserable and homesick.
I don't know what to do. I'm starting to feel as though I'm stringing this person along, continuing to act interested...but I truly am interested...sometimes. The emails I write are polite and well worded, not really me at all. I try to be truthful on the phone, but it still feels like an act. I don't feel like I would relax at all once on the job, but continue the act, especially since it's a live-in position.
What am I supposed to do? Are all life decisions this hard?
My brain says go to work, my heart says go home...
What do I do now?
The pull of home and family and friends is fighting against the lure of what could be a great job opportunity in Pennsylvania.
I want to wait and spend some time with my family and friends in Alaska, whom I haven't seen or spent any decent amount of time with in WAY too long, but I know this job isn't going to wait.
I've had a bad experience with going into a job and taking a chance (ironically also in PA) but taking a leap of faith was also what I did when I went to the Woods, and it turned out to be the best decision I've ever made.
When I'm speaking with my potential employer, the adrenaline rush I get from someone actually wanting me to come and work for them is so exciting, and I feel like just jumping on it and going east. But as soon as I hang up, the feeling of happiness immediately fades away and I feel more like crying instead. My heart aches at the thought of being so far away from home on a much more permanent basis. Somehow I can only see this job, which would really further my career in the horse world, as something I'm going to get myself into and then be miserable and homesick.
I don't know what to do. I'm starting to feel as though I'm stringing this person along, continuing to act interested...but I truly am interested...sometimes. The emails I write are polite and well worded, not really me at all. I try to be truthful on the phone, but it still feels like an act. I don't feel like I would relax at all once on the job, but continue the act, especially since it's a live-in position.
What am I supposed to do? Are all life decisions this hard?
My brain says go to work, my heart says go home...
What do I do now?