my own version of the daily horoscopes
I got sick of reading the same old thing online. There is no possible way I could meet "the man of my dreams" that many times and miss it each time! Well... we won't go into how unobservant I am, but shush! So I wrote my own. Enjoy them, kiddies! Tell your friends. :P
Your Horoscope For Today...
Aries - You will meet the man of your dreams today. Too bad he featured in your last horrible nightmare.
Taurus - You will make a new friend today. Try not to scare him or her away as fast as the others.
Gemini - You will be arrested for a crime you did not commit. It is a shame it was your evil twin, but the authorities are unlikely to accept that explanation.
Cancer - Be careful of any meals you eat. You never know when your enemies will use poison to eliminate their primary rival (namely you).
Leo - Beware of excessive arrogance today, even more than usual. The stars forecast your friends and family having less patience with your self-absorbed attitude than usual.
Virgo - Try to see others’ perspective today. Otherwise, you will be told off for insensitivity.
Libra - Pluto’s interaction with Mars does not bode well for you. Stay in bed, and avoid human contact until tomorrow at the very least.
Scorpio - Kindness goes a long way. Remember that before you kick a beggar or rob a widow later.
Sagittarius - If you’re ever going to attract that special someone (or keep them) you must remember proper hygiene. Smelling like a sewer is not attractive, and neither is dog-breath.
Capricorn - Money isn’t everything. You will be forcefully reminded of that today.
Aquarius - If you’ve ever seen Hamlet, you’d know how Polonius meets his end. Don’t eavesdrop today.
Pisces - Jupiter is not in your house today. Don’t bother with anything involving lots of thinking.
Well, keep 'em in mind (:P), and I'll talk to you lot later.
Bridget
PS. Darryl (my second-favourite person at voork) is now working in delivery instead of in the store! Meaning I don't get to work with him anymore! :(
Your Horoscope For Today...
Aries - You will meet the man of your dreams today. Too bad he featured in your last horrible nightmare.
Taurus - You will make a new friend today. Try not to scare him or her away as fast as the others.
Gemini - You will be arrested for a crime you did not commit. It is a shame it was your evil twin, but the authorities are unlikely to accept that explanation.
Cancer - Be careful of any meals you eat. You never know when your enemies will use poison to eliminate their primary rival (namely you).
Leo - Beware of excessive arrogance today, even more than usual. The stars forecast your friends and family having less patience with your self-absorbed attitude than usual.
Virgo - Try to see others’ perspective today. Otherwise, you will be told off for insensitivity.
Libra - Pluto’s interaction with Mars does not bode well for you. Stay in bed, and avoid human contact until tomorrow at the very least.
Scorpio - Kindness goes a long way. Remember that before you kick a beggar or rob a widow later.
Sagittarius - If you’re ever going to attract that special someone (or keep them) you must remember proper hygiene. Smelling like a sewer is not attractive, and neither is dog-breath.
Capricorn - Money isn’t everything. You will be forcefully reminded of that today.
Aquarius - If you’ve ever seen Hamlet, you’d know how Polonius meets his end. Don’t eavesdrop today.
Pisces - Jupiter is not in your house today. Don’t bother with anything involving lots of thinking.
Well, keep 'em in mind (:P), and I'll talk to you lot later.
Bridget
PS. Darryl (my second-favourite person at voork) is now working in delivery instead of in the store! Meaning I don't get to work with him anymore! :(