Tim and I have been together for a month now. Maybe a bit longer. It was the night befre Thanksgiving. I'm really happy. I know it sounds dumb to be surprised about that, but I sort of really am. I love him. So much. And yes, part of me thinks that we are doomed to fail because that's what I do...but I also see myself with him forever. Gross.

Five positive things 7/11/15

1. I feel fully recovered from strep today
2. I spent the day productively with Prince
3. None of my shorts fit; I'm losing inches
4. I had tacos for dinner
5. Jesse still wants to talk to me which potentially means he likes me

So I decided I'm going to have a baby. If I am not in a relationship by this time next year, I'll go through with my plan. Here are the steps ( Read more... )

"Broke up" with Russ. Can't deal with unhealthy people or relationships that make me feel like shit about myself. I guess it's for the best.

I hate everything about myself right now. Want to drink to excess and walk out in traffic.

Sort of reconciled with Russ. Don't think I will invest much in that relationship. Casual or whatever. Nothing is easy with him. On the other hand, I saw The 100 Year Old Man Who Climbed Out A Window And Disappeared with Tim and his sister Alethea last night. It was hilarious and awesome and in Swedish. Then we went to Alethea's and played Munchkin ( Read more... )

So, you tell a guy about how your ex-bff raped you and he is nice to you for exactly 12hrs before implying that you're a needy wreck who has to be "dealt" with.

Fuck men tho.

Last night I took Russ up to my overlook on Mt. Lemmon. We watched the sunset, then got high and looked at stars for a few hours. My guard must really have been down because I told him about L... and I've never told anyone that part. I never really thought too much about it or thought about it as rape until recently. Definitely never talked about ( Read more... )

So... making new friends is terrifying. I'm horrible at it and the average shelf life of a friendship with someone I don't end up fucking is around two weeks. Russ and I just passed the two week mark so I'm doubly terrified that he is run screaming. Part of this I see as a challenge; part as a warning. I dunno. The thing I love and hate about him ( Read more... )

So, I graduated from college this weekend. That's kinda a big deal. I also had the worst panic attack of my life. Wasn't sure how to deal. I am sick. And drained. And exhausted. Not sure how to take care of myself. Sleep now.

I feel really strange tonight. Coming down from a fever and a week of illness, and looking forward to a surprise visit to Tucson tomorrow... but I can't sleep. I feel like I want something but I don't know what ( Read more... )