(no subject)
what i am posting is a little something i wrtoe a couple of weeks ago i think....
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23/jun
i just finished watching neon genesis evagelion....
my fucking head is pounding right now.... the last three episodes caused the most pain to me, its making me take a step or two back and look at my self and try to figure ot where i went wrong....i mean this life i created, or should i say live? i can't figure out how i want to say it right....the life i live was created by my perceptions of what is the truth and what is not truth. i belived i was hated, and i became hated. i belive an object was lucky and it became lucky. i belive that i was in love, and i would tell ppl i was in love. but the main problem is not all that gliters is gold and just because i belive it doesn't always make it true.....i nearly failed physics because i slept through most of the classes, didn't rly do the homework, and i had a teacher that would not tolerate such behavior, but for the longest time i belivied that my teacher hated me and so it became true.....i am starting to get a little loopier as i write this, i as of right now have: 3 redbulls (or was it four? not sure), and 500mg of tertracycline(i think i spelled that right...) coursing through my bloodstream....wtf is going on in my head?? i have random chills, the urge to pass out, a few thousand point where i itch, and the urge to burn something.....fuck! i mean seriously, how is someone supposed to maintain a thought proccess in this place? its only 2040 and i feel like going to bed already...
something i was thinking aboout erlier and it just came back, i wear a lot of black (but im not gothic), i usually carry a lighter (but i'm niether a smoker nor a arsonist), i play a lot of video games (but they are not my life), i bulid computers (but im not a technophile), i listen to a lot of techno (but im not a raver), i love and live to reach a higher state of consiousness (but im not a druggie), im intrigued by and i enjoy the japenesse culture (but im not a wanna-be), i come from a small town (but im not a redneck), i have a morbid mind (but i am not a necrophiliac), i am insercure, i am sufferer of The Hedgehig's Dilema (i wish to be close to others, but when i get close, i either hurt them or they hurt me), i have had 3 "girlfriends" that went nowhere and countless more friends that are girls (but im not bitter or a "player"), as i look over these traits and i begin to wonder, "who am i? what have i become? who pushed me or did i do this myself?"
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24/jun
my head, oh my aching head! "The End of Evangelion" I should be able to say "'nuff said" but i can't, cuz not everyone knows it. (just shook will be later marked as $_$) the evangelion series is some of the most wacked out animes i have seen in the longest time, that last one i saw that came close to this was "Serial Experiment Lain" i'm going to feel a new life, yeah whateva dat means.....i just wanna curl up into a ball and have a nice lucid nitemare, all the more fun *evil grin* i might be able to write tonite!!!fun shit!
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yeah........i look back and i worry...
"I don't need questions to my answers!!" -Naru
i gotta go back to bed....merrrrrrrr.......huunnggggeeeerrrr!!!.......
=============================================================================
23/jun
i just finished watching neon genesis evagelion....
my fucking head is pounding right now.... the last three episodes caused the most pain to me, its making me take a step or two back and look at my self and try to figure ot where i went wrong....i mean this life i created, or should i say live? i can't figure out how i want to say it right....the life i live was created by my perceptions of what is the truth and what is not truth. i belived i was hated, and i became hated. i belive an object was lucky and it became lucky. i belive that i was in love, and i would tell ppl i was in love. but the main problem is not all that gliters is gold and just because i belive it doesn't always make it true.....i nearly failed physics because i slept through most of the classes, didn't rly do the homework, and i had a teacher that would not tolerate such behavior, but for the longest time i belivied that my teacher hated me and so it became true.....i am starting to get a little loopier as i write this, i as of right now have: 3 redbulls (or was it four? not sure), and 500mg of tertracycline(i think i spelled that right...) coursing through my bloodstream....wtf is going on in my head?? i have random chills, the urge to pass out, a few thousand point where i itch, and the urge to burn something.....fuck! i mean seriously, how is someone supposed to maintain a thought proccess in this place? its only 2040 and i feel like going to bed already...
something i was thinking aboout erlier and it just came back, i wear a lot of black (but im not gothic), i usually carry a lighter (but i'm niether a smoker nor a arsonist), i play a lot of video games (but they are not my life), i bulid computers (but im not a technophile), i listen to a lot of techno (but im not a raver), i love and live to reach a higher state of consiousness (but im not a druggie), im intrigued by and i enjoy the japenesse culture (but im not a wanna-be), i come from a small town (but im not a redneck), i have a morbid mind (but i am not a necrophiliac), i am insercure, i am sufferer of The Hedgehig's Dilema (i wish to be close to others, but when i get close, i either hurt them or they hurt me), i have had 3 "girlfriends" that went nowhere and countless more friends that are girls (but im not bitter or a "player"), as i look over these traits and i begin to wonder, "who am i? what have i become? who pushed me or did i do this myself?"
.................................................
24/jun
my head, oh my aching head! "The End of Evangelion" I should be able to say "'nuff said" but i can't, cuz not everyone knows it. (just shook will be later marked as $_$) the evangelion series is some of the most wacked out animes i have seen in the longest time, that last one i saw that came close to this was "Serial Experiment Lain" i'm going to feel a new life, yeah whateva dat means.....i just wanna curl up into a ball and have a nice lucid nitemare, all the more fun *evil grin* i might be able to write tonite!!!fun shit!
=============================================================================
yeah........i look back and i worry...
"I don't need questions to my answers!!" -Naru
i gotta go back to bed....merrrrrrrr.......huunnggggeeeerrrr!!!.......