a little constructive criticism, your chapters are too short, make them longer or it will run like a little kids chapter book, second, do not i repeat do not keep that baseball-like commentary for the romantic shit, it will not look good, if you don't know how to write those kinds of scenes, do research, from other sci-fi books, with love scenes, or fantasy love scenes, and if you really want to make it good, research those stupid soft-core romance novels, that women love, it will give you an idea of what to write, and what not to write. also another tip on that, you don't even have to put a lot of details in it, just some constructive criticism from a a fellow writer, and someone who reads a lot, i mean a lot. love ya, sorry i didn't get your call earlier i was taking a nap.
don't string me up for itmexicanflower86June 9 2006, 00:13:52 UTC
sheesh, have you ever heard of a rock opera called "bat out of hell?" it by a group known as Meatloaf, i got the idea from there, it was intended as a joke...........*hiss*
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