Rough weekend. Not in a good mood. Here are some words.

[pyrkussyongod]

I can't shake these feelings.
I can't stop these thoughts.
Broken down and crying.
About what I've lost.

Whether its gone
Or just far away
I can't stop this hurt
I can't take this every day.

Filled up my life
With things to occupy my time.
Doesn't seem to work well
My life is still a living hell.

Whether its gone
Or just far away
I can't stop this hurt
I can't take this every day.

Thought everything was alright
It seemed like it was all okay
We were gonna start our lives together
Hopefully we'll still do that someday.

I've tried being positive
Everyone has been there for me
But its not making it any easier
It just gets harder and harder.

Whether its gone
Or just far away
I can't stop this hurt
I can't take this every day

Please, God. Take this pain away.

_________________________________

Alicia and I were supposed to get married yesterday. Oct 31st, 2009.

We didn't.

I've been crying off and on all day. Last night was super rough.
I haven't seen her in 4 months. I'm going insane. This is fucking killing me.
She's the love of my life. I can't imagine living without her. She knows she
has made some wrong decisions. I just wish it had never come to that. I'm not
a very religious person. Though I do believe in God. I pray to him every day that
she'll come home soon.. I wish that she'll come home soon every day and night at 11:11.
Any shooting star I see... well, you get the picture. I want her back so bad.
Fuck my life.
Seriously.
Fuck it.
I hate this.
I hate this so much.