(no subject)
Ahh atleast I still have somewhere I can come and write or type out the crap in my head without worries. Because who honestly still comes to LJ anymore? Anyway, somethings just sometimes seem to fucking good to be real or true and they probably are. So why does it feel like this is the same damn thing I've done time and time again? The love, the caring, the feelings but all only behind closed doors. Away from prying eyes for only a few hours maybe a few times a week. Am I only ever good enough for behind closed doors? Why can't I be happy in public for a change? Since when is a hug between 2 people that care taboo? If my stomach had been feeling better, I knew I should have gone to practice. Just go back to instincts and aggression. Back to where I don't even think about anything but where to strike next. Yeah, that'll be good for me. The exercise and mental getaway. I need to get back to my better days. Where I was just happy coming out and beating people and didn't have any other worries otherwise.