(no subject)
I just feel like fucking writing now, but not so that the people on myspace can actually see what I'm saying or feeling. Just don't feel like getting called emo again by dustin for vocalizing whats in my head and heart without actually being whiny, just bitter and angry. Though seriously, how am I supposed to be happy and feel good about life when there a voice in your head telling you that this guy that has no problems hitting a girl or treating her like absolute shit is somehow BETTER THAN YOU?! I just can't wrap my head around it. It just breaks me down to see her talk or think about him and see the sparkle in her eyes because of it. I just...I just don't know anymore really. I don't want to deal with all this shit anymore, but I can't bring myself to turn away and leave her behind. Why can't I just be happy again? It may have only been a month but I was happy for that time. I felt ACTUALLY loved! Yes, I know that while we were together you did love me Nyx, but it doesn't really count or help for my current circumstances. *sighs* Is it really that wrong to just want to be loved in life?