Supernatural Fic -- Fall, Everyone
Here's my first of three fics from prompts given by those Secret Postcard things. I did the humor one first, for some reason. It's very...um, dry.
Title: Fall, Everyone
Rating: PG for extremely minor language
Category: Humor, drama
Pairing: None
Spoilers: None, unless I'm some sort of freaking prophet or something.
Notes: The fic that accompanies this prompt from
spn_secretfic.
Summary: It's the end, and the Winchesters' world is crashing down around them...erm, literally?
It was The End.
Sam had snapped about a year earlier, gone evil, ripped a whole lot of people apart with his bare hands. Dean had given everything (everything) to get his brother back. There had been bloodshed, and tears, and bargaining. Dean wasn’t sure he still had a soul. He wasn’t sure Sam was actually on his side. Every morning he woke wondering if this was to be the day he died, and just exactly who would be killing him.
Well, there wouldn’t be any more mornings like that. Because here he was, Sam beside him, a rag-tag bunch of hunters fanning out behind, facing his father. Well, not his father, because his father didn’t have sickly yellow eyes (except that one time, but Dean was pretty good at repressing those memories) and an army of psychic kids.
The Demon made a motion, and Andy commanded, “Drop the guns.” Dean automatically loosened his grip on his weapon. Sam blew Andy’s head off. Dean tightened his hold again. Behind him, Bobby snatched up his handgun. Back to the standstill.
Suddenly, a whistling sound started. A large patch of light disappeared. Everyone, demon and hunter alike, looked skyward, only to see gigantic boulders hurtling from the sky.
“Your doing?” Dean asked, looking at the Demon.
“No,” not-John responded. And then he was crushed.
--
“What?!” Sera managed.
Eric Kripke half-shrugged. “You heard me. Rocks fall, everyone dies.”
The entire writing staff had been called together for an emergency meeting. Sweeps were fast approaching, and the inside news from the network was that Supernatural had better wrap itself up, because it didn’t look like it was gonna be renewed for the fall.
“Look, it’s been a good run, but this whole Demon arc was really only a three-season thing. Trying to stretch it out to five...I just feel we’ve lost our way. Really, our last five stand-alones were just fanfiction rip-offs, even if the FX crew did a great job with Dean’s wings.” An uncomfortable silence. “Is Sam evil? How would a scraggly little group of hunters take on this huge force? Even if the Winchesters did win, what would they do afterwards?” Kripke asked, playing with a pencil.
The writers stared at him. True, they’d all been pulling their hair out trying to reconcile the sloppy writing that had defined the early fifth season, but rocks? Seriously?
Raelle looked pained for a moment before saying, “We could...ah, you know...pull an Angel.”
“Nope. We need some finality. We’re sticking with the rocks.”
--
To the writers’ extreme horror, the network approved of the ending. A script was prepared, a set was created, and ungodly amounts of Styrofoam were employed. Several set employees found out the hard way that spray paint melts Styrofoam into a sticky flesh-eating substance.
Jensen and Jared did not voice their complaints, if they had any. Jeffrey Dean Morgan was a bitch to get back on the show since he was doing movies at this point, but it was managed. The season five gag reel included a four-minute-long clip of the three of them pelting each other with spare Styrofoam boulders and generally being idiots.
Critics were divided on the finale. Some called it groundbreaking and unique. Others called the first group imbeciles and went with terms like “pathetic cop-out” and “worst resolution of a plot ever put on television.” Some lamented, “Why did they have to crush the car?!”
Fans went insane. The CW Lounge crashed from so many “WTF??!!!11?!!?!?” posts with excessive angry-face emoticons. LiveJournal users found their Flists so clogged with vitriolic reports of the final episode that some swore to never touch the site again. Fanfiction.net logged seven hundred and eight “AU” endings to the show within the first twenty-four hours of the initial airing. Kripke received hundreds of letters from angry fans demanding their souls and firstborns back.
And then there was silence.
The fandom shriveled. The actors got new parts. Kripke somehow managed to get a new project. Supernatural entered pop culture as one of the most bizarre endings ever televised. Twenty years later, D-list celebrities joked about it on some “I Love the 2010s!” program. When someone wanted to be witty, they would make an obscure reference to "that was as lame as hurtling boulders."
All anybody remembers about the show was that rocks fell, and everyone died.