Mar 31, 2010 18:21
L.J. Skivee
Pirates Royal Press Relations Office
Office of Public Affairs
1522 Radcliffe Highway
Portsmouth, Shropshire A13B5N England.
Phone: 11-442-555-1212
For Release March 32
Pirates Royal Band Announce Name Change, A Cruise Reminder And Other Spring News
The Pirates Royal ™ band are changing their name to the Pirate Band Royal ™ to facilitate their exciting new position as the official band of Pabst Blue Ribbon beer ™ “Choices Have Consequences” ™ ” campaign.
The new tag-line,”Give us a PBR, or we'll kill you ™ ” is expected to effect sales dramatically.
Crucial to this agreement is the band's use of their considerable influence to have Pabst Blue Ribbon ™ beer supplied as the official beverage of the Maryland Renaissance Festival.
The re-branding becomes effective immediately, but correspondence may still reflect the old name as the office runs through the last of our previous letterhead stock.
And speaking of MDRF, we've heard that there are new exciting foods for this year's festival. Bacon-enrobed Porque Cordon Bleu and deep fried porridge, both available in the Ka-bob style. Yum ™!
A reminder that there are just 200 openings left on our PBR May 2010 cruise. We are leaving from the Port of Houston on May 1, and will arrive in Sonora, Mexico in time for the Crisco de Mayo celebration. We sail on the Carnival ™ Cruise Ship, The Expense ™. It is the largest new ship in their line, so we expect even more of the experiences we had on our last voyage with them.
The band has scheduled 8 concerts on a nautical theme, Kate Fairbanks will demonstrate making sand-angels, Mr. Skivey will lecture on Horticultural Humor. There will be drinking games on the fantail and the captain promises a murder. We should have a fun-filled week. Oh, there will also be a magician to entertain the children with balloon animals.
Louis La More will be rejoining the group for the 2010 season while filming a reality show on the Discover Food ™ network.
Guest Chef Contestants have one hour to concoct a gourmet meal from authentic supplies found in an 18th century sailing vessel. The meals are then submitted to the the crew for an extensive gastronomic review and appropriate response.
The first week's challenge: Salt rub Equis Tikka Marsala avec Petit Scarabée biscuit.
The show is tentatively titled “What the Hell is this Crap???” With Chef Louis ™ ”.
On a sad note, our former associate, Baton Twirler Bob Trampler was killed in a training accident last week at his home in Griswald, Florida. Flaming batons appear to have ignited the authentic celluloid sequins on his signature "Liza Minelli at sea" outfit while he was preparing for a program with the Ships Company Shantynen.
His partner of many years, Cindy Markle, noted," Bob practically invented the field of Shanty-Baton Interpretation over his 23 year career. No one could told the story of iron men and wooden ships with a simple flashing aluminium tube like that wonderful man could. His work with the Boarding Party, Pirate Band Royal(formerly the Pirates Royal, and before that the Pyrates Royale), and the Ships Company Shantymen shocked us all. At least he died a horrible death while doing what he loved. He would have wanted it that way."
SC Shantyman Steve Winnock will step in to twirl with Cindy until a permanent replacement can be found.