Of Answering machines, Coffee and Rain. - YooMin
Title: Of Answering machines, Coffee and Rain. (Rain always gets in there. xD)
Author: pyonpyonpyaa
Length: (sequel to ‘Listening to the Rain’)
Rating: Er…PG again? LOL.
Pairing: YooMin.
Genre: Little bit of angst, …fluff? It ends happy ish.
Warnings: Be prepared for fail!humour and angsty!Chun and lots of Junsu. Plus just…Fail? Although if you read ‘listening to the rain’ you’d know that already. xDDD
A/N: Yeeeah~ so…Here is the sequel I said I might write. This is kinda dedicated to Ally ( allysonmae18) - she bullied got me to write this way sooner than it would’ve been if I’d be left to my own devices. xDD So, kudos honey. :)
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Yoochun was wet. The kind of wet where you’re soaked to the bone, and so cold that you’ve gone beyond feeling cold. He couldn’t feel his fingers - which proved an annoyance when it came to opening the door with his keys.
He fumbled for a few more minutes, before conceding in defeat to the keys. Those bloody things always won - if he was drunk, tired, or blind, and now he could add ‘cold’ to that mental list as well. He glared at the door for a few more moments before thumping loudly (his immature side felt slightly smug, as if he was getting revenge).
“Jaejoong! Yah! Junsu!”
He was met with silence. He’d forgotten Jae was in Japan, and wouldn’t be back until the day after tomorrow (or later tomorrow if he wanted to be exact). Junsu, where was Junsu? Yoochun briefly wondered, before coming to the conclusion he was probably with Junho.
He slid (well squelched) down the wall, deciding he’d get up and open the door once he’d warmed up a little…Just, in a few minutes.
The next thing he knew, he was being pulled up gently by warm hands.
“Changmin?”
“No Chun, it’s me.”
“Oh…Sorry, Su.”
Junsu just smiled a soft smile, and pulled the half asleep Yoochun into the apartment. He was shoved towards the shower while Junsu promised coffee would be waiting.
The water was painful on his skin, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. After a little while, it became more bearable. Junsu came in once, to put dry clothes on the side and he suspected, to check he wasn’t comatose and drowning in the shower. That, or curled around the toilet, asleep. Honestly, it had only been one time - he’d been so drunk he’d thought the bath mat looked comfortable…
…It wasn’t his fault, Junsu had nearly fallen over him and smacked his head off the sink. Junsu had been convinced he was one of those obsessive fans and shrieked for Jae. Who’d come wielding a frying pan…It was a shame he didn’t look quite so menacing in Changmin’s Hamtaro pyjamas.
Changmin.
He felt like time stood still, as he recalled Changmin’s clapping laughter echoed down the hall as Yunho recounted the scene to him. (Junsu and Jae had been busy simultaneously yelling and shoving Yoochun to bed.) God, he missed -
He mentally slammed that thought out of his head, and turned the shower off. No point even going there. He tried to shut off all thoughts as he pulled on the sweatpants and soft knitted jumper that Junsu had brought.
The smell of coffee greeted him as he padded towards the kitchen, he could hear Junsu’s voice speaking softly. He took a seat on one in the stools, and watched his roommate talk.
“Yeah, he was outside. Mm, I don’t think he could open the door…No, I think he was just really really cold, Jae. I know, I know. Yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow. I miss you too. We both do, have a safe flight. Yeah, me too.”
Junsu turned round, and snapped the cell shut. “That was Jae, he wanted to talk to you, but I said you were showering.”
“Thanks.” They both knew, Jae wouldn’t so much talk as whine at Yoochun or mention him, as well as yelling at him for not taking better care of himself.
’Yoochun, why don’t you just talk to him?’ ‘Chunnie, I know he misses you as much as you miss him…why don’t yo-‘ ‘Yoochun, have you spoken to Changmin ye-‘ ‘Oh fuck you, you don’t think we both miss them too?! Why don’t you just pick up the fucking phone?’ ‘Yoochun…alright, fine…I just…hate seeing you depressed.’
And that was only about a third of Jae’s comments to Yoochun, mainly in person. The more biting ones were in person, Yoochun didn’t think Jae could be harsh while away. He missed them all too much.
“What time is it, Su?”
“A little after ten, why?”
“Just wondering…”
He was finding it harder than usual today, to block thoughts of Changmin out of his head. He sighed, staring into his coffee.
“Chun? You’re free today right? We should do something…”
Was he free? He couldn’t remember a day where he didn’t have schedules piled up taller than he was - but wait, that was before. He’d just finished filming for his drama, so…
“Yeah, I am. What were you thinking?”
“I dunno, I was just thinking it’s been awhile since we had the time to hang out and just …be…Y’know? I’m gonna get showered and dressed. Eat breakfast okay?”
He just waved Junsu away, a small smile on his face at his nagging.
“Yah. Yoochun, the answer message light is flashing. Can you check the messages, it might important or something.” He could hear Junsu grumbling about how it better not be fucking managers phoning to cancel their free day.
He was chuckling softly when he pushed the button, but that stopped immediately he heard the voice on the phone.
”Yoochun…It’s me. I…I-I can’t do this anymore…Its too hard. I don’t even know what we are. What are we? It can’t be love. Love doesn- …Love shouldn’t hurt this much. I..I just can’t anymore. G-goodbye Yoochun…I just…nevermind.”
Yoochun didn’t even know when the tears started falling, it might’ve been when he heard Changmin’s voice, but then it might’ve been when he started sounding so uncertain and the catch he heard in his voice as he said goodbye. He waited for the answer machine to click off, but…for some reason it didn’t…like Changmin forgot to hung up or pushed the wrong button.
He could still hear him breathing, so he could hear the moment that Changmin broke down and started crying softly. He must’ve been on his bed, because the sounds were muffled slightly. Yoochun didn’t feel his knees give out, but without him realising it, he was on the floor, the tears falling afresh.
He couldn’t bring himself to stop the message, even if Changmin hated him and had ended it. Then this message was all he had, connecting himself to him.
”I’m not stupid, so why…why do I love you…I wish I could hate you.”
He could hear the words catching in Changmin’s throat, as he tried to stop crying. He could even see, in his mind's eye, exactly how Changmin was lying - on his side, facing away from the phone, the back of his hand covering his mouth as he tried to stop himself from giving in to these weak emotions. Changmin always thought it was unmanly to cry. Well, unmanly for himself to cry.
The message went silent, and just as he thought it had ended, he heard a ragged breath and “…But I can’t.”
The only sounds he heard then, were the sounds of Changmin falling asleep. He was still listening to Changmin sleep when Junsu returned to the kitchen bright and bouncing.
“Hey Yoochun, I was thinking that- …Why are you on the floor? What’s that noise, is someone sleeping. Yoochun? …Are…are you crying? What happened, you were fine a minute ago?”
Junsu sounded completely and utterly confused, and to be honest, it was completely understandable. He had left a smiling Yoochun in the kitchen, sitting, drinking coffee - and he returned to find a silent Yoochun, sitting on the floor with tear tracks down his face, staring and listening to the answer machine like it was his only lifeline.
There was limited things which would cause this reaction.
“Was it Ricky or your mother? Are they okay?”
“…They’re fine.”
“Then…was it…Yunho?”
“No, not …Yunho.”
“Then, it was Cha- …it was him wasn’t it? Yoochun, what happened? Is that Changmin sleeping?”
“He didn’t hang up properly.”
“Oh…Do you-“
“Let’s go out.”
Yoochun stood abruptly, grabbed his jacket and walked to the door. Junsu hurried after him, it was only when they were waiting for the lift that Junsu realised.
“Yah, Chun…You’re not wearing shoes?”
Yoochun stared at his feet, contemplating if it was worth just going without rather than returning to the apartment, and risk hearing Changmin’s message still running. He didn’t think he was strong enough to…
“You are not going out without shoes on.” Junsu sighed. “Stay here, I’ll get them.”
|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|
Yoochun was sitting in the dusky gloom, nursing a cup of coffee. He and Junsu had managed to waste an entire day, doing hardly anything. But that didn’t matter, they had just enjoyed spending time in each other’s company without having to worry about cameras or saying the wrong thing. Like Junsu had said, they were able to just be.
“You know…Chun, when I listened to that message, it doesn’t sound to me like he’s rejecting you at all…More, like he’s trying to reach out to you because someone hasn’t been reaching out to him.”
Junsu ignored the tightening of Yoochun’s eyebrows and mouth as he spoke, he wasn’t dumb, he knew he was stepping into dangerous territory (He’d done that the moment he mentioned the message.) but he also knew Yoochun would be content with hoarding the message (he’d already noticed the preparations of a new tape lying next to the answer machine, and would bet that by the evening, the answer tape would mysteriously disappear into Yoochun’s room.) without doing anything - he’d accepted it as Changmin ending everything and rejecting him.
“Go to him.”
“No.”
“Alright, fine. But do something for me? Listen to the message again, and focus on what he’s actually saying…Rather that what you think he’s saying. Don’t push your fears onto the message Chun.”
Yoochun acted like he hadn’t heard Junsu. The latter sighed and mumbled something about looking over ‘Mozart’ again before going to sleep. A curt nod was the only response he got.
Yoochun watched the final light of the sun fade, before standing up and heading towards the light switch. His eyes fell on the answer machine again, and Junsu’s words echoed through his head quietly. ‘focus on what he’s actually saying…push your fears…’
He frowned and quickly pushed the ‘play’ button before returning to the sofa. He listened. He heard the hurt in Changmin’s voice, the waver when he mentioned love, the vulnerability when he thought no one was listening. He heard the most important part, which he had missed the first time.
“I’m not stupid, so why…why do I love you…”
Love you. Present tense. When he had heard it the first time, he had focused on the ‘hate’ which had followed.
He was so stupid. Changmin gave off the image of strength, humour and intelligence - all of which he was - but he was amazingly good at hiding the things he didn’t want people to see - his vulnerability, fear, and his love for Park Yoochun.
When had Changmin started fooling him too? When had Yoochun stopped seeing all these things and started only seeing the cool, collected Changmin - who wouldn’t love him. Had he really been so blind? Thinking that Changmin was alright without him, he had seemed to fare well while they were in Japan.
But when he really thought about it, that was a lie wasn’t it? Changmin hadn’t fared well, not really. Yoochun couldn’t have missed the huge weight loss and anxious demeanour. He had just chosen not to see it. Too wrapped up in his own fears of rejection - rejection from the one person he felt he couldn’t recover from.
Yoochun had gotten used to waking up with wet pillows - Changmin shouldn’t have to do the same. In fact, Changmin wouldn’t do the same.
He left, and when Junsu walked back in to ask Yoochun if he’d seen where he’d last put his toothbrush all he found were the noise of Changmin sleeping on the answer machine, and Yoochun’s cup of coffee on the table, untouched and cold.
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He stood outside an unfamiliar door, unfamiliar in the sense that it felt like it had been years since he had last been here. His hand was shaking when he reached out to knock. He almost drew back, but, he had been too afraid lately - that had to change. He was hurting too many people.
Changmin being the obvious one, but he also knew he was hurting Jae and Junsu, every time they found he in some state the worse for wear, their eyes showed not only pity but pain - like it physically hurt them to see him hurting this badly. He had also ignored Yunho, since he was living with Changmin, Changmin was an immediate thought whenever he thought of calling Yunho to see how he was doing. Their conversations existed only through relayed messages between Junsu or Jaejoong.
He pushed through his fear and knocked, hoping that either one of the two were home. If not, he didn’t know what he would do. Whether he would sit and wait, or sit for awhile and then gradually lose his nerve and leave. He was afraid if he left, the next time he would manage to convince himself not to come.
The door opened slowly, and the pair of eyes which met his own, were wide and insecure.
“Changmin.”
He thought Changmin was going to shut the door in his face, for a moment, before Changmin opened it wider, his expression bland.
He winced at the expression, it had never been turned on him before. Almost desperately he sought a way to break through the impenetrable wall he could sense Changmin building.
“I love you.”
He could almost hear the noise of Changmin’s walls shattered, it seemed to echo throughout his head. His eyes focused on Changmin’s which scrunched up with a combination of confusion, pain and surprise. His mouth opened a few times, before he managed to force the words out.
“But you…came back, and didn’t call, you didn’t want to see me…I…You don’t…I don’t understand…Why do you do this to me?”
The final sentence came out as a sob, and Yoochun saw Changmin’s legs buckle before he even felt it himself. His arms surrounded the taller, still skinny frame, as Changmin’ hands covered his face, trying to hide the tears which desperately wanted to fall.
A noise inside the apartment caused Yoochun to glance up as see Yunho walk quietly into another room. At that moment, he was glad that it was Yunho and not Jaejoong who was there, Yunho would give them the privacy which would be needed if they had any hope of mending this relationship.
He felt Changmin hands grip him tightly as he burrowed his head into his neck. It was a feeling he hadn’t felt in a long time, too long. It was all because of him aswell, he allowed irrational fear to overpower and cloud him judgement, even while others were trying to convince him of the truth.
“Changmin, I’m so sorry. There aren’t words to express how sorry I am…I’m so sorry”
His voice broke on the last word, and then they were both crying and holding each other tightly. As if, they were afraid the other would vanish or be dragged away from the other.
That night, when it looked like things were past the point of recovery, it turns out love had another ending in mind. At least that’s what Yoochun likes to sappily sleazily say just before Changmin whacks him for being ‘a stupid sentimental idiot’ that he loves.
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When Jae got off his flight the next morning, two texts were waiting for him.
’Yah, hyung. I’m hungry, hurry back and make me some food. Oh, Yoochun has stopped being an idiot. Minnie and Micky mouse are back together again. Hyung! Did you bring me back some hitsumabushi? You said you would. HYUNG.’
’Jaejoong ah, looks like we’re closer to being Dong Bang Shin Ki again. Oh, and I miss you. Hurry back, Junsu won’t stop whining, it almost makes me glad that I share with Changmin. Yah~ Jaejoong ah, did you hear that he threatened to move out because I was too untidy?! Our maknae’s back.’
Only the lucky fan girls at the airport got to witness Jaejoong’s million watt grin and watch him literally run to the car, laughing in the way we love.
A/N: LOL. So, Jae&Junsu&Yunho wriggled their way in. Junsu especially. This could’ve gone one of two routes (the second being more depressing than before D8) but I’m glad that while typing it seemed to get happier. LOL, its like I have no control over this. xDDD & Flip sake! This got long O_____O; Especially considering the original ficlet (Listening in the Rain) was like maybe just 1000 words (I don’t think it was even that actually…)?
LOLOLOL I was really tempted to try and write smut, but my smut would fail so, I ended it all cheesy and cliché. Ain’t that awesome. Maybe…I’ll try smut at some point ><
Er…Enjoy?
A/N2: Re-reading this (before I post it)...Yah, I really don't like it LOL! But...I promised a sequel...so here it is ><
Author: pyonpyonpyaa
Length: (sequel to ‘Listening to the Rain’)
Rating: Er…PG again? LOL.
Pairing: YooMin.
Genre: Little bit of angst, …fluff? It ends happy ish.
Warnings: Be prepared for fail!humour and angsty!Chun and lots of Junsu. Plus just…Fail? Although if you read ‘listening to the rain’ you’d know that already. xDDD
A/N: Yeeeah~ so…Here is the sequel I said I might write. This is kinda dedicated to Ally ( allysonmae18) - she bullied got me to write this way sooner than it would’ve been if I’d be left to my own devices. xDD So, kudos honey. :)
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Yoochun was wet. The kind of wet where you’re soaked to the bone, and so cold that you’ve gone beyond feeling cold. He couldn’t feel his fingers - which proved an annoyance when it came to opening the door with his keys.
He fumbled for a few more minutes, before conceding in defeat to the keys. Those bloody things always won - if he was drunk, tired, or blind, and now he could add ‘cold’ to that mental list as well. He glared at the door for a few more moments before thumping loudly (his immature side felt slightly smug, as if he was getting revenge).
“Jaejoong! Yah! Junsu!”
He was met with silence. He’d forgotten Jae was in Japan, and wouldn’t be back until the day after tomorrow (or later tomorrow if he wanted to be exact). Junsu, where was Junsu? Yoochun briefly wondered, before coming to the conclusion he was probably with Junho.
He slid (well squelched) down the wall, deciding he’d get up and open the door once he’d warmed up a little…Just, in a few minutes.
The next thing he knew, he was being pulled up gently by warm hands.
“Changmin?”
“No Chun, it’s me.”
“Oh…Sorry, Su.”
Junsu just smiled a soft smile, and pulled the half asleep Yoochun into the apartment. He was shoved towards the shower while Junsu promised coffee would be waiting.
The water was painful on his skin, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. After a little while, it became more bearable. Junsu came in once, to put dry clothes on the side and he suspected, to check he wasn’t comatose and drowning in the shower. That, or curled around the toilet, asleep. Honestly, it had only been one time - he’d been so drunk he’d thought the bath mat looked comfortable…
…It wasn’t his fault, Junsu had nearly fallen over him and smacked his head off the sink. Junsu had been convinced he was one of those obsessive fans and shrieked for Jae. Who’d come wielding a frying pan…It was a shame he didn’t look quite so menacing in Changmin’s Hamtaro pyjamas.
Changmin.
He felt like time stood still, as he recalled Changmin’s clapping laughter echoed down the hall as Yunho recounted the scene to him. (Junsu and Jae had been busy simultaneously yelling and shoving Yoochun to bed.) God, he missed -
He mentally slammed that thought out of his head, and turned the shower off. No point even going there. He tried to shut off all thoughts as he pulled on the sweatpants and soft knitted jumper that Junsu had brought.
The smell of coffee greeted him as he padded towards the kitchen, he could hear Junsu’s voice speaking softly. He took a seat on one in the stools, and watched his roommate talk.
“Yeah, he was outside. Mm, I don’t think he could open the door…No, I think he was just really really cold, Jae. I know, I know. Yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow. I miss you too. We both do, have a safe flight. Yeah, me too.”
Junsu turned round, and snapped the cell shut. “That was Jae, he wanted to talk to you, but I said you were showering.”
“Thanks.” They both knew, Jae wouldn’t so much talk as whine at Yoochun or mention him, as well as yelling at him for not taking better care of himself.
’Yoochun, why don’t you just talk to him?’ ‘Chunnie, I know he misses you as much as you miss him…why don’t yo-‘ ‘Yoochun, have you spoken to Changmin ye-‘ ‘Oh fuck you, you don’t think we both miss them too?! Why don’t you just pick up the fucking phone?’ ‘Yoochun…alright, fine…I just…hate seeing you depressed.’
And that was only about a third of Jae’s comments to Yoochun, mainly in person. The more biting ones were in person, Yoochun didn’t think Jae could be harsh while away. He missed them all too much.
“What time is it, Su?”
“A little after ten, why?”
“Just wondering…”
He was finding it harder than usual today, to block thoughts of Changmin out of his head. He sighed, staring into his coffee.
“Chun? You’re free today right? We should do something…”
Was he free? He couldn’t remember a day where he didn’t have schedules piled up taller than he was - but wait, that was before. He’d just finished filming for his drama, so…
“Yeah, I am. What were you thinking?”
“I dunno, I was just thinking it’s been awhile since we had the time to hang out and just …be…Y’know? I’m gonna get showered and dressed. Eat breakfast okay?”
He just waved Junsu away, a small smile on his face at his nagging.
“Yah. Yoochun, the answer message light is flashing. Can you check the messages, it might important or something.” He could hear Junsu grumbling about how it better not be fucking managers phoning to cancel their free day.
He was chuckling softly when he pushed the button, but that stopped immediately he heard the voice on the phone.
”Yoochun…It’s me. I…I-I can’t do this anymore…Its too hard. I don’t even know what we are. What are we? It can’t be love. Love doesn- …Love shouldn’t hurt this much. I..I just can’t anymore. G-goodbye Yoochun…I just…nevermind.”
Yoochun didn’t even know when the tears started falling, it might’ve been when he heard Changmin’s voice, but then it might’ve been when he started sounding so uncertain and the catch he heard in his voice as he said goodbye. He waited for the answer machine to click off, but…for some reason it didn’t…like Changmin forgot to hung up or pushed the wrong button.
He could still hear him breathing, so he could hear the moment that Changmin broke down and started crying softly. He must’ve been on his bed, because the sounds were muffled slightly. Yoochun didn’t feel his knees give out, but without him realising it, he was on the floor, the tears falling afresh.
He couldn’t bring himself to stop the message, even if Changmin hated him and had ended it. Then this message was all he had, connecting himself to him.
”I’m not stupid, so why…why do I love you…I wish I could hate you.”
He could hear the words catching in Changmin’s throat, as he tried to stop crying. He could even see, in his mind's eye, exactly how Changmin was lying - on his side, facing away from the phone, the back of his hand covering his mouth as he tried to stop himself from giving in to these weak emotions. Changmin always thought it was unmanly to cry. Well, unmanly for himself to cry.
The message went silent, and just as he thought it had ended, he heard a ragged breath and “…But I can’t.”
The only sounds he heard then, were the sounds of Changmin falling asleep. He was still listening to Changmin sleep when Junsu returned to the kitchen bright and bouncing.
“Hey Yoochun, I was thinking that- …Why are you on the floor? What’s that noise, is someone sleeping. Yoochun? …Are…are you crying? What happened, you were fine a minute ago?”
Junsu sounded completely and utterly confused, and to be honest, it was completely understandable. He had left a smiling Yoochun in the kitchen, sitting, drinking coffee - and he returned to find a silent Yoochun, sitting on the floor with tear tracks down his face, staring and listening to the answer machine like it was his only lifeline.
There was limited things which would cause this reaction.
“Was it Ricky or your mother? Are they okay?”
“…They’re fine.”
“Then…was it…Yunho?”
“No, not …Yunho.”
“Then, it was Cha- …it was him wasn’t it? Yoochun, what happened? Is that Changmin sleeping?”
“He didn’t hang up properly.”
“Oh…Do you-“
“Let’s go out.”
Yoochun stood abruptly, grabbed his jacket and walked to the door. Junsu hurried after him, it was only when they were waiting for the lift that Junsu realised.
“Yah, Chun…You’re not wearing shoes?”
Yoochun stared at his feet, contemplating if it was worth just going without rather than returning to the apartment, and risk hearing Changmin’s message still running. He didn’t think he was strong enough to…
“You are not going out without shoes on.” Junsu sighed. “Stay here, I’ll get them.”
|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|
Yoochun was sitting in the dusky gloom, nursing a cup of coffee. He and Junsu had managed to waste an entire day, doing hardly anything. But that didn’t matter, they had just enjoyed spending time in each other’s company without having to worry about cameras or saying the wrong thing. Like Junsu had said, they were able to just be.
“You know…Chun, when I listened to that message, it doesn’t sound to me like he’s rejecting you at all…More, like he’s trying to reach out to you because someone hasn’t been reaching out to him.”
Junsu ignored the tightening of Yoochun’s eyebrows and mouth as he spoke, he wasn’t dumb, he knew he was stepping into dangerous territory (He’d done that the moment he mentioned the message.) but he also knew Yoochun would be content with hoarding the message (he’d already noticed the preparations of a new tape lying next to the answer machine, and would bet that by the evening, the answer tape would mysteriously disappear into Yoochun’s room.) without doing anything - he’d accepted it as Changmin ending everything and rejecting him.
“Go to him.”
“No.”
“Alright, fine. But do something for me? Listen to the message again, and focus on what he’s actually saying…Rather that what you think he’s saying. Don’t push your fears onto the message Chun.”
Yoochun acted like he hadn’t heard Junsu. The latter sighed and mumbled something about looking over ‘Mozart’ again before going to sleep. A curt nod was the only response he got.
Yoochun watched the final light of the sun fade, before standing up and heading towards the light switch. His eyes fell on the answer machine again, and Junsu’s words echoed through his head quietly. ‘focus on what he’s actually saying…push your fears…’
He frowned and quickly pushed the ‘play’ button before returning to the sofa. He listened. He heard the hurt in Changmin’s voice, the waver when he mentioned love, the vulnerability when he thought no one was listening. He heard the most important part, which he had missed the first time.
“I’m not stupid, so why…why do I love you…”
Love you. Present tense. When he had heard it the first time, he had focused on the ‘hate’ which had followed.
He was so stupid. Changmin gave off the image of strength, humour and intelligence - all of which he was - but he was amazingly good at hiding the things he didn’t want people to see - his vulnerability, fear, and his love for Park Yoochun.
When had Changmin started fooling him too? When had Yoochun stopped seeing all these things and started only seeing the cool, collected Changmin - who wouldn’t love him. Had he really been so blind? Thinking that Changmin was alright without him, he had seemed to fare well while they were in Japan.
But when he really thought about it, that was a lie wasn’t it? Changmin hadn’t fared well, not really. Yoochun couldn’t have missed the huge weight loss and anxious demeanour. He had just chosen not to see it. Too wrapped up in his own fears of rejection - rejection from the one person he felt he couldn’t recover from.
Yoochun had gotten used to waking up with wet pillows - Changmin shouldn’t have to do the same. In fact, Changmin wouldn’t do the same.
He left, and when Junsu walked back in to ask Yoochun if he’d seen where he’d last put his toothbrush all he found were the noise of Changmin sleeping on the answer machine, and Yoochun’s cup of coffee on the table, untouched and cold.
|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|
He stood outside an unfamiliar door, unfamiliar in the sense that it felt like it had been years since he had last been here. His hand was shaking when he reached out to knock. He almost drew back, but, he had been too afraid lately - that had to change. He was hurting too many people.
Changmin being the obvious one, but he also knew he was hurting Jae and Junsu, every time they found he in some state the worse for wear, their eyes showed not only pity but pain - like it physically hurt them to see him hurting this badly. He had also ignored Yunho, since he was living with Changmin, Changmin was an immediate thought whenever he thought of calling Yunho to see how he was doing. Their conversations existed only through relayed messages between Junsu or Jaejoong.
He pushed through his fear and knocked, hoping that either one of the two were home. If not, he didn’t know what he would do. Whether he would sit and wait, or sit for awhile and then gradually lose his nerve and leave. He was afraid if he left, the next time he would manage to convince himself not to come.
The door opened slowly, and the pair of eyes which met his own, were wide and insecure.
“Changmin.”
He thought Changmin was going to shut the door in his face, for a moment, before Changmin opened it wider, his expression bland.
He winced at the expression, it had never been turned on him before. Almost desperately he sought a way to break through the impenetrable wall he could sense Changmin building.
“I love you.”
He could almost hear the noise of Changmin’s walls shattered, it seemed to echo throughout his head. His eyes focused on Changmin’s which scrunched up with a combination of confusion, pain and surprise. His mouth opened a few times, before he managed to force the words out.
“But you…came back, and didn’t call, you didn’t want to see me…I…You don’t…I don’t understand…Why do you do this to me?”
The final sentence came out as a sob, and Yoochun saw Changmin’s legs buckle before he even felt it himself. His arms surrounded the taller, still skinny frame, as Changmin’ hands covered his face, trying to hide the tears which desperately wanted to fall.
A noise inside the apartment caused Yoochun to glance up as see Yunho walk quietly into another room. At that moment, he was glad that it was Yunho and not Jaejoong who was there, Yunho would give them the privacy which would be needed if they had any hope of mending this relationship.
He felt Changmin hands grip him tightly as he burrowed his head into his neck. It was a feeling he hadn’t felt in a long time, too long. It was all because of him aswell, he allowed irrational fear to overpower and cloud him judgement, even while others were trying to convince him of the truth.
“Changmin, I’m so sorry. There aren’t words to express how sorry I am…I’m so sorry”
His voice broke on the last word, and then they were both crying and holding each other tightly. As if, they were afraid the other would vanish or be dragged away from the other.
That night, when it looked like things were past the point of recovery, it turns out love had another ending in mind. At least that’s what Yoochun likes to sappily sleazily say just before Changmin whacks him for being ‘a stupid sentimental idiot’ that he loves.
|~|~|~|~|~|~|~|
When Jae got off his flight the next morning, two texts were waiting for him.
’Yah, hyung. I’m hungry, hurry back and make me some food. Oh, Yoochun has stopped being an idiot. Minnie and Micky mouse are back together again. Hyung! Did you bring me back some hitsumabushi? You said you would. HYUNG.’
’Jaejoong ah, looks like we’re closer to being Dong Bang Shin Ki again. Oh, and I miss you. Hurry back, Junsu won’t stop whining, it almost makes me glad that I share with Changmin. Yah~ Jaejoong ah, did you hear that he threatened to move out because I was too untidy?! Our maknae’s back.’
Only the lucky fan girls at the airport got to witness Jaejoong’s million watt grin and watch him literally run to the car, laughing in the way we love.
A/N: LOL. So, Jae&Junsu&Yunho wriggled their way in. Junsu especially. This could’ve gone one of two routes (the second being more depressing than before D8) but I’m glad that while typing it seemed to get happier. LOL, its like I have no control over this. xDDD & Flip sake! This got long O_____O; Especially considering the original ficlet (Listening in the Rain) was like maybe just 1000 words (I don’t think it was even that actually…)?
LOLOLOL I was really tempted to try and write smut, but my smut would fail so, I ended it all cheesy and cliché. Ain’t that awesome. Maybe…I’ll try smut at some point ><
Er…Enjoy?
A/N2: Re-reading this (before I post it)...Yah, I really don't like it LOL! But...I promised a sequel...so here it is ><