Writer's Block: Forbidden Reading
When I was in seventh or eighth grade, I found this book called Billy and Betty at the dollar store, only then there weren't dollar stores. I just remember the store being a Big Lots sort of place and the books were cheap, and at the time, I bought about three or four, one of which was this book by Twiggs Jameson called Billy and Betty.
It was about sex. Weird, funny, euphemistic sex. I gave it to my best friend Pam to read and we traded it back and forth for ages and any time either of us made some reference to the book, we'd collapse into hysterics. I think I lent the book out to a couple other people, but mostly Pam and I enjoyed it.
The book was about a brother and sister whose names were, of course, Billy and Betty. They had funny names for various parts and acts. "Glander" was a penis and "pudarkus" meant vagina. Sex was called "clamming" and people you didn't like were "mother-clammers". An orgasm was a "final". There was one particularly funny excerpt in which a telephone receiver was involved because of Betty's crush on someone named Bob. Billy was a masterful kazoo player, because as children, they had watched a kids' show whose host was Poppy Quimm, and Billy was obsessed with her.
Luckily, my parents thought recreational reading was a waste of time, and didn't touch my books, but I made sure I knew where that book was at all times, just in case.
There really isn't much information about Twiggs Jameson on the net. You can find some references to his work and find copies of Billy and Betty for sale online, for anywhere from $7.50 to $50.00. Apparently, Twiggs Jameson is the pseudonym of James Twiggs, but I can't find much about him, either.
I'd be really amazed if any of you have read this book.
It was about sex. Weird, funny, euphemistic sex. I gave it to my best friend Pam to read and we traded it back and forth for ages and any time either of us made some reference to the book, we'd collapse into hysterics. I think I lent the book out to a couple other people, but mostly Pam and I enjoyed it.
The book was about a brother and sister whose names were, of course, Billy and Betty. They had funny names for various parts and acts. "Glander" was a penis and "pudarkus" meant vagina. Sex was called "clamming" and people you didn't like were "mother-clammers". An orgasm was a "final". There was one particularly funny excerpt in which a telephone receiver was involved because of Betty's crush on someone named Bob. Billy was a masterful kazoo player, because as children, they had watched a kids' show whose host was Poppy Quimm, and Billy was obsessed with her.
Luckily, my parents thought recreational reading was a waste of time, and didn't touch my books, but I made sure I knew where that book was at all times, just in case.
There really isn't much information about Twiggs Jameson on the net. You can find some references to his work and find copies of Billy and Betty for sale online, for anywhere from $7.50 to $50.00. Apparently, Twiggs Jameson is the pseudonym of James Twiggs, but I can't find much about him, either.
I'd be really amazed if any of you have read this book.