As the entire world knows, you'll be hosting the Oscars this coming Sunday for the first time. On this august occasion, please allow me to appeal to you as someone who wants to be a fan but hasn't been able to enjoy you so far. Please allow me to appeal to you as a public service. You of all people know from public service, since you are the very man who has enlisted comedy in the cause of civic clarity. I can't imagine that what I say will make a difference to you--if you even happen to read this. No matter. Like you, I have a job to do.
First, this business of the entire world knowing that you will be hosting the Oscars; this craziness of journalists worrying over how you will handle an "older crowd"; over how you will bear up with stars like Jack Nicholson scrutinizing you from the front row, and with distinguished predecessors like Billy Crystal and Whoopi Goldberg gazing at you from their summits of historical accomplishment. Doesn't all this attention to an event of almost astronomical triviality make you worried? I ask because you seem actually to care about the quality of cultural and political life--there was your now-legendary moment with Tucker Carlson, for example, when you demanded that political talk shows get serious. Demanded. Live free or die, dude. But then you went and had on the Hollywood lackey Roger Ebert, whose highly visible coverage of the Oscars will of course include his evaluation of you. And there you were, pandering to him, and obsessing over your upcoming administration of the Oscars.
As the entire world knows, you'll be hosting the Oscars this coming Sunday for the first time. On this august occasion, please allow me to appeal to you as someone who wants to be a fan but hasn't been able to enjoy you so far. Please allow me to appeal to you as a public service. You of all people know from public service, since you are the very man who has enlisted comedy in the cause of civic clarity. I can't imagine that what I say will make a difference to you--if you even happen to read this. No matter. Like you, I have a job to do.
First, this business of the entire world knowing that you will be hosting the Oscars; this craziness of journalists worrying over how you will handle an "older crowd"; over how you will bear up with stars like Jack Nicholson scrutinizing you from the front row, and with distinguished predecessors like Billy Crystal and Whoopi Goldberg gazing at you from their summits of historical accomplishment. Doesn't all this attention to an event of almost astronomical triviality make you worried? I ask because you seem actually to care about the quality of cultural and political life--there was your now-legendary moment with Tucker Carlson, for example, when you demanded that political talk shows get serious. Demanded. Live free or die, dude. But then you went and had on the Hollywood lackey Roger Ebert, whose highly visible coverage of the Oscars will of course include his evaluation of you. And there you were, pandering to him, and obsessing over your upcoming administration of the Oscars.
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